The French

[SeeYouWhenISeeYou]

Just been to Biarritz for a week. I went feeling good as I have lost some weight, got some nice outfits and thought I was set. Ince there I found myself surrounded by svelte, impossibly good looking, tanned people of all ages, wafting around in gorgeous linens with minimal jewellery, somehow cool in the sweltering heat. They were slim despite the amazing food on offer (and carrying baguettes under their arms!!), had simple perfect haircuts and apparently never got bitten by mosquitoes. Meanwhile I could only wear flat flip flops because my feet swelled too much for my wedge espadrilles, my fake tan slid off, my patchy white legs were covered in scars from relentless mosquito bites, my hair exploded into a frizzball in the humidity and even though my outfits were cotton they somehow looked wrong. By the end of the week I looked like I had been on a survival course rather than a chic French beach holiday.

What, all of them? Not the Spain I know.

Well let me redress the balance - I’ve just got back from Croatia. We visited a couple of popular beach towns / cities and saw quite a few nationalities. ( surprisingly only one other British family spotted). I have to say the styles were mostly not chic. The nicest outfits I saw were all white dresses of various styles and very simple flat shoes ( obviously style is subjective). Other than that it was very difficult to identify the different nationalities because styles were so similar. There was a lot of football shirts and smoking among the men. I didn’t see a single white linen shirt on anyone other than DH.

I’d like to think that somewhere on l’internet de France there’s a group of women discussing how wonderfully eccentric and bohemian and freeing it must be to wear something bright and patterned, cut for ease not aesthetics and chosen to make the wearer happy. With blue nail varnish. And how wonderful to eat a cheese and bean toastie off a chopping board for dinner at 9.45pm, standing at the kitchen worktop, a bit drunk. Not all British women, though. There are plenty of them who are just like us. All skinny and sunkissed and not bitten by insects in dreary navy linen shift dresses, a tan sandal and delicate gold jewellery.

It's all about moderation and portion size!

Indeed - but the post I quoted claimed that French women just don’t eat bread, which as I said, is untrue 🤷‍♀️

Let’s not even talk about Dutch “dress sense”…women usually wear animal print of some kind, flares, huge white trainers, Argos-style jewellery, have fake tan and fake bleach blonde hair. I just don’t get it…

In the past few years, I am no longer assumed English in Europe. I am assumed German.

My 21 year old, very well travelled, chic DC reliably informs me this is not a compliment 🤣

I went to Biarritz and loved it, but there again I don’t understand this habit of comparing yourself to other people. I have a friend who drives herself nuts with it - why? Comparison is the theif of all joy.

This.

Just to add about the meals. My DP spent 3 months on an industrial work placement in France in 2019. He was astonished to find that there was an on site restaurant which served a proper, delicious, fresh cooked lunch with seasonal veg, daily. Almost everyone ate there, everyone took the full lunch break regardless. A menu, which changed weekly, was circulated to all staff in advance.

I think it’s becoming realised that if you eat proper cooked meals, people often snack less and eat less overall. I also watched a style blog with a French woman who said french women favour very simple classic clothes, limited pattern etc.

We have that at our London workplace - it definitely makes a difference. Most of us break at midday for a subsidised, freshly cooked meal or freahly prepared salad and eat with colleagues. Similarly, the menu is posted a week in advance on the intranet so you can plan what you want to eat the next week.

So I work in a French school. Lunch is served daily, four courses plus bread but small portions. Chips served maybe 4 times a year max🤷‍♀️ Pizza similar . Other wise it’s proper French food - salads, stews, baked fish, meat in various sauces, roast chicken etc. There are no sandwiches, crisps, chocolate, cakes, sausage rolls, filled rolls etc for sale and no drinks on offer other than chilled water. No one can purchase snack food anywhere in school - no tuck shop, no vending machines etc.

it’s an excellent way to eat - loads of veg / salad, some protein, small cheese and fruit / yoghurt dessert. That’s the main meal of the day done, for €4.25.

I am just back from a French city. I wouldn’t say everybody was more stylish as such. I live in London and enjoy fashion so notice that there are plenty of chic and well-dressed women here as well.

The main difference I noted however was that there was no sportswear being worn as casual wear. I detest seeing tracksuits, leggings and football tops being worn on a day-to-day basis so on that criterion, the French city fared better than London I am afraid!

Off topic somewhat, but such a contrast to the awful state of our catering for children in this country. This is how it should be for every child; a wide and diverse variety of fresh food from weaning.

I’ve never seen any of my French neighbours in sportswear, unless they are actually going for a run or to play tennis. Like, never, in 17 years.

My first time going to china and japan.
I thought i was going to look like a right old fat hag.

What i saw online and from what others told me was that over there they all look young gorgeous and very slim.
When i got there it was very different yes some was all above and some not so much.

My cousin's in-laws are wealthy Parisians and it all seems to boil down to being slender, deeply tanned and wearing lots of black linen.

My theory is that people who walk and are active, may not necessarily be thin, but always somehow look good. Their limbs are generally more toned, so even big legs and arms look good and clothes sit better on them. Whereas deskbound people somehow look less firm and good, even with great clothes and spray tans etc! This may be a frivolous take on it but I do believe theres some truth in it!

I think deep tans, whether real or fake, are deeply unattractive- not stylish at all.

I feel like this about women in Rome and Madrid although I don’t compare myself but I do take lots of inspiration. They still have a culture where dressing properly and well is the norm. I also think diet, climate and a slower lifestyle contribute to their general gorgeousness.

On my first trip to Rome I met a beautiful Italian woman in her mid 50s - slim, gorgeous olive skin and long but voluminous dark curly hair. She was wearing a short cream shift dress, dainty sandals and huge sunnies. She was so stunning but so effortless and at ease with herself.

The brightly patterned clothes and blue nail varnish of a pp would be anathema to me.

I think there's a lot of rose tinted sun glasses being worn on this thread. So far as Italian and Spanish women it's usually struck me that many are shorter and bigger than me and squeezed into uncomfortable, tight sleeveless dresses.

If I were going to make sweeping generalisations about other nationalities or ethicities it's Japanese or Korean women who catch my eye. Elegant but not afraid to be daring with shapes and fabric.

My theory is that people who walk and are active, may not necessarily be thin, but always somehow look good. Their limbs are generally more toned, so even big legs and arms look good and clothes sit better on them. Whereas deskbound people somehow look less firm and good, even with great clothes and spray tans etc! This may be a frivolous take on it but I do believe theres some truth in it!

For me its proportions, often when people spot someone who looks great or wonders why their same sized friend looks great in an outfit that looks terrible on them it's to do with proportions.

I am half French, my Mum is French and moved back there when I was 18. I spent all of my childhood and teenage year holidays there and in Switzerland visiting family.
I would echo what others have said, the French women in my family all ate everything, including bread, cheese, full fat yoghurt, real butter, but it was in moderation through eating 3 proper meals a day and just small amounts. Cheese would last ages as everyone only had a small amount after a meal. We would always have lovely salads and fresh fruit available and often fruit and yoghurt would be dessert. Nice cakes and sweet treats were just once a week maybe.
I do find the emphasis on meals difficult to get used to when I visit, for example when I stay with my mum, we can't really go anywhere in the morning as from about 11am she is in full swing preparing lunch, apéro is at 12, 12.30 she and her husband sit down for lunch and then after that is coffee and a sieste. There is then a small window to do something, before she starts thinking about the evening meal and the whole thing starts again!

In addition, they are pretty ruthless about weight and looks. As a teen, I was average sized, not fat in the slightest but not skinny- I was fit and athletic as I rode my ponies, cycled to the stables every day and ran for the school competitively, so very active and healthy. Every single year I would arrive to my Grandmother telling my Mum I had out on weight and must eat a lot of cakes! My Mum is tiny, I take after my British Dad and am taller and broader. It really affected me.
Now, I'm 43 and carrying a few extra pounds. I am healthy, happy and active and am in the process of losing weight in a healthy balanced way though exercise and healthy eating. I have never been hugely into grooming and image although I do wear make up, paint my nails, etc but it's not my main focus. my Mum although never directly saying anything, is very focussed on appearance as a measure of someone's worth and constantly talks of how great my cousin and step sister look as they are sooo slim and take care over their beauty treatments. She makes barbed comments, about my bust size, my shoe size, buys me clothes in sizes too large. I've never felt good enough because I'm not French enough!! I love the outdoors, spend my time walking my dogs, caring for my horse, am a SEND school teacher and love my job, but because I don't care about my looks enough, I am "bizarre" in her words.
Visiting next week for the first time in 3 years for that very reason and I am absolutely dreading it.

The chic French look is not all that, when it comes with such a mean self obsessed nature.

French women aren’t generally tall. I’m only 5’8 but am a lot taller than most of my French friends (I live in Brittany). The OP went up Biarritz, I can assure her that in the provinces (small rural towns and villages) the French women, especially the younger ones, are often very overweight and definitely not stylish.

Lucky children! Why can’t we recreate that over here? So healthy.