The French

[SeeYouWhenISeeYou]

Just been to Biarritz for a week. I went feeling good as I have lost some weight, got some nice outfits and thought I was set. Ince there I found myself surrounded by svelte, impossibly good looking, tanned people of all ages, wafting around in gorgeous linens with minimal jewellery, somehow cool in the sweltering heat. They were slim despite the amazing food on offer (and carrying baguettes under their arms!!), had simple perfect haircuts and apparently never got bitten by mosquitoes. Meanwhile I could only wear flat flip flops because my feet swelled too much for my wedge espadrilles, my fake tan slid off, my patchy white legs were covered in scars from relentless mosquito bites, my hair exploded into a frizzball in the humidity and even though my outfits were cotton they somehow looked wrong. By the end of the week I looked like I had been on a survival course rather than a chic French beach holiday.

Same with me. By Aug bites are a small bump gone in a day. But abroad bites are probably different.

I find British women are always so keen to put themselves down, especially on S and B. Everybody is apparently huge and pasty and hideous.

I hear you@SeeYouWhenISeeYou.
DSis lives in the S of France and is super glam, despite having a Zara budget. She is fractionally taller than me and considerably slimmer than me. She eats next to nothing, and very low carb. Years of sunshine have made her look older than her years though, and this is not helped by her extreme thinness. Possibly a little bit of sour grapes on my behalf…. I am more Yorkshire Pudding to her French Fancy!

Smoking is never classy.

I was brought up in France, due to dad’s job, although born in the UK, in many ways l feel more French than British. I used to live in Paris, admittedly a long way from the south, but a quick trip on Line 5 of the Metro (complete with the smell of old socks) will show you it’s not all about elegance.

A lot of it is simply urban-rural divide, same as in many countries. Go to the countryside or even suburbs and more normal range of people.

We lived in France for a few years and I did become more polished and lost weight, it just seemed easier to take care of myself but I can't really explain how.

I don't wish to sound mean, but I avoid Biarritz like the plague. It's so far up its own arse that it's choking itself 😊

Further south is much nicer and more laid back. Can't beat St. Jean de Luz, Hendaye Plage and all around there. Everyone is normal with the odd Parisienne stick insect just to keep us in our place lol.

That's interesting.

Could it have been:

Availability of fresh convenience foods?
Social pressure to stay slim?
Smarter everyday dress code?
Culture that expects women (and men to a certain extent) to be soigne(e)?
More walking / sport?
Smaller portions?
Environment less obesogenic?
Greater focus on sensory/artistic pleasures - quality vs quantity?
Strict mealtimes and no snacking?
Ticket restos or good workplace canteen?

@dreamingbohemian

Mosquito repellant?

Could it have been a stunt baguette?

(I'm only saying this for comic effect, for those who remember the stunt pineapple of MN yore.)

I'm British and currently in southern Spain in a big city. I am struggling in the heat, cannot wear anything stylish and having to live in shorts and vests and flat shoes and can't bear to have my hair down, just makes me too hot so I have clipped it up. All around me are young Spanish women with long straight hair wearing lovely clothes and even jeans?!!
Oh and also have mosquito bites that are 2 weeks old and still visible.
To add insult to injury I'm half Indian but my legs are as pasty white as they come. And I don't sit out in the sun to tan cos I'm scared of skin cancer.

I've also put on a bit of weight so although fairly slim I am looking really untoned in my vest tops.

I hear you OP. What's their secret? Are they just used to the heat in a way we are not?

They are even more glamorous in Italy! Just got back from holiday (quite a nice resort let’s say) they were all wafting around the pool in lots of linen or silk designer kaftans. I did not take the right outfits. I will take linen shirts as a cover up next time! They were all tanned and slim too.

With regards to the bread - the fact it’s less processed will make a difference. I guess the food is just healthier and fresher and they all eat less UPFs.

Oh OP I feel you. In Italy I was so badly attacked by mosquitoes that the locals would stop, stare, point, and exclaim 'zanzaro' (mosquito)!
One restaurant just plonked some mosquito spray on our table without saying anything.
No locals seem to have been affected by these zanzaro!

Some people more susceptible to insect bites - it's genetic and about hormones in sweat apparently. I barely get bitten at all, whereas Mr Monkey is a walking mosquito buffet.

I’m in Italy too. Thank you Mounjaro and a drastically reduced capsule wardrobe and hair long enough to twist up. Nowhere near as chic as the Italians, but not my usual sweaty uncoordinated wreck! Lake water much better for hair!

I bloody love Biarritz. Autumn a brilliant time to go. Warm enough for sunglasses, t shirt and jeans insouciance and to sit outside a pavement cafe with a glass of champagne. Cool enough in the evening to dine on caserol.

I’m a massive Francophile. At their best the French have such style and class. The thing I most admire is the way they have class without being crippled by a class system. They also have a far greater respect for high culture. I remember a friend saying that if you go into the French equivalent of Tesco or Sainsbury’s, and wander into the book section, you’ll find Montaigne and Voltaire and Victor Hugo. In the U.K., all you see is Jeffrey Archer or Dilly Court or the latest piece of drivel by Katie Price. No Jane Austen or Dickens or Iris Murdoch.

Hmm maybe some of those things?
I didn't feel any particular social pressure though the GP did strongly tell me to lose weight in a way I've never heard from a UK GP (I was about 10 kg overweight post partum)
Easier to get fresh seasonal food at supermarkets, fresh bread daily, and all the food is so gorgeous you don't eat as much

I think the snacking thing can be overstated, you will find the same aisles of crisps and candy there, but for example you would put some crisps in a little bowl instead of eating out of the bag so smaller portions

Actually the plates and bowls tend to be smaller so naturally smaller portions

Basically a lot of structural factors I guess, that you don't really notice or think about?

Some people have never heard of French Tacos and it shows.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_tacos

I'd say all those factors to greater and lesser proportions. As a teenager I had weight problems, and my French family were horrified, not because of my health and happiness, you understand, but because it made me unmarriageable. And they went on about it for decades, long after I'd sorted my weigh out.

And I'll never forget the ad in the pharmacie, 'Fouettez vos rondeurs'. (It was a sort of spray that would make you slim)

I live in Spain. The women (and men for that matter) slim , effortless style , not sweaty and then there is me

God, I love France and I love the regular MN 'why are French women so gorgeous' threads.
They really are. It's just a fact of life. I always feel like a slob in France.

I went to Biarritz a couple of years ago and had a similar experience. Even the children on the beach were dressed in effortlessly chic outfits! I felt very drab and unstylish. 😅

Of course French women (and men) eat bread. Those baguettes aren't just props (like the obligatory baguette in every bag of groceries as per Hollywood).

They imitate French film stars. I was watching serge gainsbourg the other day (who smoked all the time) and it was like watching my cousins, who obviously modelled themselves on him. And SG must have practised in front of a mirror, he was so unbearably self conscious.

I’ve been coming to France a few times a year for my whole life. I’m here now, but we like the rivers so we’re inland and away from anywhere particularly glam. The well turned out ladies are here too. I think they’re everywhere.

Through learning the language and more about the culture over the years I think I’ve come to understand a bit more about why French women (some, not all) look so good.

I don’t think the concept of ‘self care’ exists here. It doesn’t need a name because it’s just part of life. S & B is regularly invaded by the ‘I’m much too busy and clever to care about my style or beauty’ crew. Having a facial or taking ages to choose a top is seen as self indulgent and vain. By contrast, I walked into the standard pharmacy here last week for a moisturiser and had a serious 15 minute conversation about products to help with the texture of my peri-menopausal skin and supplements that may help. Also a couple of stern reminders to watch my weight because bien sûr. My middle-aged skin feeling and looking it’s best is important enough to warrant my time and the salesperson’s attention. Go into a clothes shop and it’s a similar story.

Add in clothes at all price points focused on simple, quality basics, highly subsidised childcare, readily available high quality food and a national daily routine that allows time to prepare and eat it, and a focus on preventative healthcare and I don’t think it’s much of a mystery why a lot of the women here look pretty good.

There‘a a substantial downside to all this, I think. The endless discussion of meals and the inflexible rigmarole of preparing and eating them ‘properly’ would drive me round the bend. I find the focus on conformity of looks and style and everything else a bit suffocating. If we as outsiders feel a bit not quite good enough it must be awful for women inside the system who don’t fit the mould.

Maybe someone French can tell me if I’ve misread this, but that’s my take.