Cocktail party - help!

[HierarchyOfMugs]

I have to go to a cocktail party for a work thing. I am not a cocktail party sort of person. I'm a middle-aged overweight introvert.

I'm thinking it's best to rent a dress...? How does it work? Can I go to the rental place and try a whole load on? Will they give me advice?
What about shoes? I can't wear heels or anything pointy.

Most of the other people there will be millionaires; some will be billionaires. I am clearly not trying to compete, I just don't want to embarrass myself.

Please send help!
It's not until September so I've got plenty of time to work myself up into a nervous wreck!

This is up to date and should answer most of your questions, as well as linking some good rental places:

https://www.redonline.co.uk/fashion/a37750531/rent-clothes/

It’s almost certainly the best option if you don’t have the budget to buy very expensive clothes.

Look online at styles of dresses you actually feel comfortable wearing, they do not have to cost much, you just need to feel good in it. Perfectly acceptable to wear dress trousers and a silk blouse as an alternative too, flat shoes are just fine. My go to dress is simple skater style, knee length, matt black and only cost £25 online yet I get so many compliments, I do wear with heels, Clark’s but flats are just fine.

I’m not sure what sort of individual you imagine a cocktail party sort of person to be?

To my mind the best parties are those that gather a non-homogenous group of people together to meet and interact with one another. The least worthwhile (once past teenage years) are those where everyone is the same.

I would generally assume that the monosyllabic middle aged person hiding in the corner is a Pulitzer prizewinner …

I suppose the sort of person who has been to a cocktail party before. Or someone who likes getting dressed up, or someone who drinks cocktails, or likes meeting people. I am none of those.

I would much prefer trousers, if that's a possibility.

But every single human being on the planet does every single thing they’ll ever do for the first time at some point.

Anyway - I do hope you’ll find the rental information above useful.

If you google ‘Best dress rental sites UK’ you’ll find several other articles and lists from reputable sites, offering additional resources and reviews and advice.

"Cocktail party" and "cocktail dress" are practically meaningless beyond "don't wear jeans and trainers.

I don't think so, at this event. It's at a private members club with a dress code. Anyway, I'm trying to blend in, not make waves!

Yes thanks for the article but I'm not sure why you're telling me I'm wrong. This isn't AIBU. I'm not expecting to have fun; it's a work commitment.

I'm a member of one of those. It really does mean no jeans and trainers and a bit dressier than you'd wear during the day.

How about a trouser suit from eg Reiss, OP?

These NRBY velvet trouser suits would work too.
https://nrbyclothing.com/collections/velvet?_gl=11fw0qra_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjw1ozEBhAdEiwAn9qbzc6NLNhCvHjJk5K7ZzEZ5TyXYVCZ3N-wZw9WdWmig75NvtOchoa-SBoCJegQAvD_BwE

Those are cool, yeah. A bit Christmassy for September? But nice vibe.
I'm still thinking about Cate Blanchett's Wimbledon suit which I thought was to die for.

Unfortunately, I'm normally dressed like a complete scruff, which is probably why I'm struggling with this!
But I take your point, I don't want to look over-dressed.

This plays safe but other than the full length dresses almost everything on here would be fine. It's designed as corporate, after office hours, formal wear.

The Fold
thefoldlondon.com/edits/occasionwear/

I wish I had Cate Blanchett's figure!

Lots of good ideas thanks. I'm thinking a jumpsuit possibly.

https://www.hurrcollective.com/brand/selfridges

You can rent a dress from Selfridges so you won't look out of place and it's more environmentally friendly & sustainable. Nobody will know that you have rented a dress.

This is my go to "party"Velvet wrap top which I own in both colours. I wear it with either black plisse wide pants/velvet cigarette pants or wide cords/jeans.

I was going to suggest a jumpsuit. I’ve picked up a wide leg phase eight number off Vinted recently and can’t wait to have something to wear it too. I’ve had 2-3 black tie events a year for the past few so whilst I have gowns I think some of the stretchy comfy options from phase eight are lovely.