What does everyone think of grey hair?

[SilverDoublet]

Over the last 2 years I grew out my hair, it's quite grey but I just couldn't handle the regrowth reappearing every 3 weeks and didn't have time or money to deal with it. My hair was quite dark so I had been dying it dark brown. But now it's pure white in places, salt and pepper on top and still dark underneath. I asked a hair dresser if I should go blonde to hide regrowth but she said Im too dark. And I can't stand the regrowth with brunette. What do people think of grey? Or what does everyone else with hair like this do? I'm 45, don't like looking so old...

Some of my friends look wonderful with grey hair, though it always takes me a while to adjust my thinking to it. I think I look better with it dyed than without, provided I go to a really good hairdresser, though I hope I don’t fool myself I look younger, just a decent version of 56. If I were you OP I’d talk to some other hairdressers.

My mum ain't fooling no one either 🤣

She's been dying her hair peroxide blonde for years and in her 70s now.

I agree

I went grey. I have naturally dark hair and I cut it short and had a grey balayage put in by the hairdresser to help with the transition. I now have what looks like a natural grey balayage (which no longer has any dye) and personally I love it! (I’m almost 44and about 15-20% grey)

It really depends on your skin tone. Olive, dark or very pale skin can look amazing with silver hair. But reddish or pink undertones will look awful.

Why?

Having had a few grey hairs appear in my 30s, and by my 50s was visiting my hairdresser every 3 weeks to have my roots done, I realised that the block colour of my dyed dark brunette hair no longer matched my face and looked obviously dyed, even ageing.

So during a very brief period of availability during lockdown, my hairdresser stripped out my colour and sent my hair grey. It was a rather false looking grey - had a photoshopped look - but it got me started on my journey towards grey. And being in lockdown helped considerably because I worked from home and didn't need to go anywhere.

After lockdown I had my hair cut shorter. By this time the grey dyed part had gone stangely blondish but it was okay, and after lockdown it didn't seem to matter. As the growing out continued I found that my hair was white at the front and sludgy grey at the back, and I wore it that way for a while. The white at the front certainly aged me and I struggled to find what colour clothes and make up shades now worked for me. I felt scruffy and old because I seemed to have no way of looking good.

However, after a few experiments I've settled on using Fade to Grey shampoo by Bleach London. It gives me a purple 'wash' - so the white is now grey with a purple undercurrent. I don't see anyone else with my colour. It's not a purple shampoo look.

I'd prefer it to be just grey but I can't achieve that without dye - this washes out if I choose, but I don't. I'm not an extrovert, super funky type, so rather surprised that I now wear this colour which I view as rather classy.

It helps that I have good thick hair. And now I have found make up that fits my colouring (thank you super helpful Clarins person) I feel good. Have't quite mastered clothes colours yet but have found a style that works for me. Comfy but attractive and well put together and good posture. I also keep busy with work and interests. I don't choose to act like an old person.

If I'd continued to dye my hair I might look a little younger, but what's the point? I've embraced my age, time of life and a look that I'm content with. And I don't waste ridiculous amounts of time and money at the hairdressers.

I absolutely love it on many people, including some friends. Looks elegant and classy. Like Juliette Binoche.

Unfortunately my grey hair grows out like a badger. I wish I had grown it out in the pandemic.

I decided to go grey at 49, during COVID. Was fed up of getting my hair coloured, it never looked quite right anyway and the regrowth was hellish. I'm a silvery white all over and have never had so many compliments. So stuff this worry about aging, there are worse things than getting older and none of us are fooling anyone anyway.

I do have fantasies of a silvery grey pixie cut or something when I'm older. I'm just not sure my hair will ever get a nice all over grey without bleaching it.

What a depressing thread. I have grey hair, so obviously must look like a hideous old hag. Thanks. Sheesh.

I dont colour my hair to fool myself or anybody else else that I am pretty grey now in my 6os. I dye it because I like having bright hair and grey won't suit me. Maybe when I don't work any more I will let it go but maybe not.

I let the dyes grow out during lockdown and I'm now in my mid-60s.
The grey roots were coming through within 2 weeks and I was fed up of the maintenance. It's been liberating.

I've had a lot of compliments plus surprise when people find out my actual age - they tend to think I'm about 5 years younger than I am.

I spend a lot of money on skincare, hair products for grey hair, a good haircut, dressing well and healthy diet (I don't drink alcohol any more and that's made a big difference). I'm also a healthy BMI but not skinny, have a regular yoga routine, drink lots of water and sleep well

On the days I don't pay attention to good grooming (if I've just thrown on gardening clothes), I look like a bag lady (as evidenced by catching myself on our doorbell camera). 😟

I don't really think anything about it. I have no idea if it ages me. I don't know what age I appear to other people and I don't know why I'm meant to care. Found my first greys at about 25. 20 years later I have about 30% grey maybe.

There's no way I'd ever keep up with a dye regime.

I'm around the same age as you OP and also dark brunette. My hair is salt and pepper now and in much better condition than when I used to colour it, it's so lovely and soft now. I have also had many compliments on my natural hair colour from friends and colleagues. My hairdresser also has natural salt and pepper hair - she looks amazing.

I must also say that I really notice it when someone colours their hair now. Sometimes it looks ok, but most of the time it looks obviously dyed and harsh and doesn't suit them.

Interestingly, I have almost never seen a man with coloured hair - maybe once or twice. I see a youngish man (probably younger than me) with very grey hair on a regular basis. Very handsome and it doesn't detract from his looks or make him look older. The same with the women I know who don't colour their hair - they look their age, not any older.

The other thing I am not keen on is putting a lot of unessesary, harsh chemicals on my head on a regular basis. It can't be healthy.

I’ve always coloured my hair dark brown but about six months ago I left the grey to come through..it means I have grey streaks at the front as though I have purposely coloured it. There is grey at the sides and the dark brown has turned into a light auburn/ginger colour. Friends are now telling me how lovely it looks, far better than the dark brown. I’m 61.

I am 36 and have 75% grey hair with the rest medium brown. My hair is resistant to dye so I don’t really have any choice other than to own it! People usually put me at 45/50 ‘with good skin’ (because I have a youthful face and no wrinkles!). I’m very much the relaxed type so I dint really give a toss how it’s perceived. My hair doesn’t change my actual age and the rest of it is vanity. If everyone stopped dying their hair we would get used to seeing it as it should be!

The pressure to look a certain way or do certain things gets normalised and most of us dye our hair as it’s almost frowned upon not to. I really don’t care personally, I am going with the grey flow for me. Men my age with grey hair can be sexy as anything and no one bats an eyelid so why do we hold women to a different standard?

I think it’s important to do what you feel happy with, dyed or not. Whatever you choose, you can always change your mind later. You aren’t hurting anyone else by choosing the colour of your hair so whatever you say goes!

I'm growing my grey out naturally and have to admit a lot of the reason is a bit of a two fingers up to the social conditioning that says women have to look a certain way.

Most men in their late 40s and upwards are grey and the majority of people would say they don't look drastically older than they are as a rule and that dyed hair on middle aged and older men looks a bit odd. It's no different for women other than most women still hang on to the hair dye. I'm glad more women seem to be embracing their natural hair colour. The dye jobs aren't magically making women look younger, I agree with a PP that virtually every person looks broadly similar to their actual age no matter how they present themselves or what interventions they have.

My mum is in her 70s and has dyed brown hair. It looks odd and she's not fooling anyone about her age.

I have salt and pepper hair, say 20%grey on dark brown hair.
In terms of looking good I think that yes, getting it done professionally, every month, spending a lot of time and money will give you an objectively pleasing look to the majority of people.
I think that for dark hair, a box dye which leaves hair with little dimension, brassy orange and a harsh demarcation line is possibly the least flattering.
I think that on most people natural grey hair would be objectively worse than the top option, but it’s debatable whether it’s always worse than the bottom option.

I also stopped having mine dyed about five years ago aged 40. Sure it does age me but who cares? I think grey hair looks good on men and women and I am not fussed with looking younger than my years. The more of us who embrace the grey, the more it becomes acceptable and gives our daughters more options. My mother was absolutely horrified when I embraced the grey but she has since decided to stop dyeing herself and I personally think it looks much healthier now and suits her skin tone.

I'm your age, OP, and I started to go grey in my teens and dyed it for years, from an orangey-yellow home bleach that I left on for too long, to expert and expensive salon jobs that covered or blended everything beautifully. In the end I got bored of the effort and the expense and so two years ago I shaved it all off and let it grow back, which meant I never actually had the salt-and-pepper phase because now it's silver-grey everywhere except around my ears and neck, where is still dark (it's in a pixie crop at the moment).

I love it. Friends and family know how old I am and I don't care what anyone else thinks. As per a pp, there are lots of actually annoying things about getting older, but no reason why grey hair should be one of them. Also, your skin changes with age too. I don't think anybody's natural grey 'doesn't go' with their complexion. It's just not what you're used to. The danger of dyeing it is that you see yourself in the mirror every day, so you're the last person to spot the point at which you start to go from 'natural-looking' to 'Jackie Stallone'.

It’s incredibly aging I think. I will happily continue to dye mine. My face gives my age away obviously but no need to make myself look even older

I know! Brutal.