Thought I looked ‘effortless Mediterranean cool’ — actually looked more like a harrassed scout leader 🫠 Help!

[ExcuseUs]

Looked back at last summer’s holiday pics and… wow. I thought I was nailing effortless Euro chic, I had bought new, planned better — a couple of black cotton dresse, linen shorts, black cami, espadrilles,. But in photos (taken from behind, of course 🙄), I looked less like a glam goddess and more like a scout leader on a mission. Not the hoped for.

So — how do you actually pull off that breezy, stylish holiday look, I am always envious of others, sashaying along the prom?

Dresses, coords, whatever — I’m open. Just want to look effortless and not thrown together in a melted heap.

Tips, combos, links — please hit me with your summer style wisdom!

Yes - please! This made me laugh too!!

Y'all are back in style! 2002 is where it's at!

Though, I find what is now considered "low" rise jeans amusing. I had a peptic ulcer, so high isn't comfy anymore. It's what I would consider mid rise, though that's gone up to 9" - 10"/23cm - 25cm rises, which were considered high rise pre-COVID. I think the lowest I saw was 7 1/2"/19cm. No whale tail and you can bend over to pick up stuff - lol!

Kids these days will never know our struggles or fear of love handles hanging over our pants. 🤭

This is why spray trans tans are my friend! I really like the Versa Pro, which I see listed in the equipment at both HOT! Tanning and The Tanning Shop. Versa is less smelly than what's used in Mystic Tan's formula (at least on my skin). Going less dark and no bronze is also less smelly since there is a lower amount of DHA..

But I grew up in the southeastern US and was bullied for being so pasty fair. I wear lots of sunscreen, esp. on cloudy days, when most ppl don't think the UV will get to them...

Your post is making me laugh. For some reason I'm imagining you looking like somebody out of 'It ain't half hot mum'. That might be before your time but if you look it up you'll get what I mean. I know what you mean though. You think something like that will look chic coz it does on the hanger or picture but it's actually quite stiff and ' ironed' when you put it on and just looks frumpy. What about something a bit soft and wafty instead.

Given you’re a size 6 in shorts OP, have another look at the fit. Loose and summery too often means “don’t fit”. Make sure yours actually fit you at the waist and hip bone, then skim your thigh. Overly large shorts immediately give scout leader.

Jolly good Bunty, a round of croquet and a lime juice and gin? Then perhaps a game
of bridge?

I’m not a size 8 and my skin goes from mortuary white to angry red, so I’m deeply envious of you already OP.

Can you wear vests that are narrower at the back? Either a racer back or halter neck would have more shape. I think this helps avoid the square-from-the-back look with shorts.

If you are slim, you would also get away with fuller shorts which would emphasise your waist.

Colour wise black can be tricky, but I like darker tops and lighter bottoms. This is after the year I thought I’d be glamorous in white and covered everything in sunscreen. Black tops would look good with olive shorts and would suit your colouring.

Just in case you didn’t know this link shows that it was sent from your Instagram profile i.e. not anon

I think what you need is a few of those short and top co ords. I’ve just got a lovely cream one in a sort of waffle fabric from asos. Easy to wear and style up for the evening or down for day and they come in loads of colours.

This sort of caper. Maybe don’t pose like a flamingo though.

@KnitFastDieWarm
backgammon Trudel!
I am currently wearing a tweed skirt and brogues with the Pith helmet and some natty woollen knee high socks. Sporting a gin and lemon.

Were your shorts too long? Short shorts (max 4 inches) which slightly come away from the leg are far more flattering than longer shorts that cling to the leg. You have good legs, but I really don't, so I was surprised that even for me shorts are only flattering if they are short and a little loose.

Spare a thought for those of us with parsnip thighs 😪

I've just got some blue Jersey shorts off Vinted. They're quite full- almost culotte-y. They're the perfect length for me- as short as I can go whilst still concealing parsnip thigh flobble- and pretty high waisted. I'm still trying to work out if they'll do or if they're a disaster. Teenage DS said they made me look like a hobbit, and supposed they'd do as long as I only wore them at home to do the housework in.

I'm certainly getting buyers remorse over procreating...

@crackofdoom, honestly, I have parsnip thighs too! But you really can and should try a short short. With longer shorts that encase the whole thigh, you are chopping the visual line of your body in multiple places (at the waist where your top ends, at the knee where the shorts end, then at the shoes). It makes your legs look shorter and draws attention to them. And if you don't tuck in your top, you look even more disproportionate, with super short legs. But a short short makes your legs look longer. And a short short that sits flares away from the leg a little, makes even a chunky thigh look narrower. I would never have believed it, until I saw it with my own eyes.

Looks a bit too much like nightwear IMO.

And black shorts immediately gave me a vibe of the fascist party led by Roderick Spode in P G Wodehouse's "Wooster" books.

They were known as "The Black Shorts"!

I'm loving this thread - some marvellous descriptions! I look in the mirror at home and think (given I'm lumpen, pale and 61) yes, not too bad - always hear Rhys Ifans voice in Notting Hill when I say it - then I get to the bbq/restaurant etc and think what the actual heck was I thinking? My recent hack is wearing bright colours in nice fabrics so at least it looks intentional. I've also taken to wearing pearls with many outfits as it lifts my complexion and I can get away with it at my age!

I agree with this, or at least I did until varicose veins spoiled the party. I’m a shorty with ginormous knees. Some of my ancestors were from a mining community and I swear I’m part pit-pony. Anyway, I found short, flared shorts lengthened my legs better than cut off chino style.

Now I’m having to deal with ugly veins I’ve mostly given up shorts.

I've been trying everything on. If I get round to it I might post some photos of Comparative Shorts Lengths on the Thunderous of Thigh later. But I tried on my smart black T shirt with a neck tie affair on with my black shorts, thinking it would give insouciant city chic.

Oh no. Female PT instructor at an SS summer camp 😬

No no no neck tie even Kristen Scott Thomas couldn’t carry that off

I think linen often looks lovely on the hanger but awful once it's been worn for more than 10 minutes. On holiday I love wearing loose silk clothes - trousers, shirts, dresses - as much as possible. I realise it's pretty impractical but do love it so. I don't think colour palette is your issue but FWIW I love navy, cream and tan for summer. Oh, and an elegant jumpsuit can be nice for evenings vs. shorts.

me too! where tf did it go??

Posters were using it to bully people so they have removed it.