My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

Oh dear OP & please don't think I'm being rude but I cringed when I saw this combination. The dress is so aging & worse with the waistcoat. The shoes you might get away with if wearing cropped trousers which I think you would suit but with this dress it's a no from me. You have so much potential & your still young.

That looks really good. The trousers fit, the length hides some of the shoes so the shoes don't overwhelm the outfit but leaves enough to show the shoe. The Fairisle cardigan is the perfect shape.

I think it’s important to wear what suits you and what you feel comfortable in. No point in taking on someone else’s style and suggestions if you feel awkward and self conscious. Maybe try adding a few nice accessories - some costume jewellery, scarf, bag etc which can really help to lift an outfit and make it more stylish. I’ve had some classic clothes for years - plain black trousers and white shirts but I switch them up with new chunky jewellery, earrings, bangles etc. I don’t spend lots on new clothes anymore but when I do they’re always classic items that will last. I used to be a total fashion victim - I would spend a fortune on ridiculous pieces that I could only wear for a season, then I had an epiphany and decided to shop more sustainably. Your clothes aren’t necessarily frumpy, I think accessories can make or break an outfit so it depends what you are wearing them with.

There are one or two nice pieces there but I really don't like the Toast vibe. Their stuff, imo, even makes the models look bog awful.

Your dress - the pattern is nice, the length is also fine it's the style at the top which makes it look like an older person's style. If it were spaghetti straps or round neck at the top it would look a lot more fashionable. The waistcoat does look a bit strange with the dress though. A denim jacket would look a bit better if you do want something over the top.

For me though it's the shoes that don't look right.... Either sandles or boots (depending on the weather) would look good

From what you say/what you were wearing, I don't expect it's your clothes. I am nearly 60, and when I was 48, someone offered me an over 60s discount at a pharmacy. And also at 52-53, I was asked if I wanted the pensioner concession when we went to the zoo. Pharmacy assistant was around mid 50s, and the woman at the zoo was around 30, so people of all ages can get your age wrong.

I have also had a woman at a hobby group I was in telling me it's her 65th birthday tomorrow, and her son is coming to see her. She said 'he's about your age.' He must have been in his mid 40s at the oldest as she was 65. Yet I was 53 at the time. So she thought I looked 7-10 years younger. Also, this man spoke to me when I was on a walk and I was speedwalking. He said 'ooh you'll not be walking that quick when you're my age!' I said 'how old are you?' He said 55. I laughed because I was 53, so only a couple of years younger. When I said that, he said 'wow I'd have put you at 10 years younger, easily!'

tl;dr some people are really bad at guessing peoples ages. Upshot is though, like everyone else, you look roughly your age @Nifty50something (early 50s.) You don't look like you're in your 60s. And no items of clothing are going to make you look it. The woman is clearly shit at guessing peoples ages.

In all those pics the youngest you look is the one with denim and the oldest you look is the dresses… suggest you stay smart casual…

Why don’t you ask your polish and Ukrainian friend to go shopping with you to help you
Also stay away from browns and the shades of green you are wearing are also quite old fashioned, navy and white are good on you so get some handy Breton tops which nearly always look ok

I think a fresh nautical look would suit you, so look at navy’s, bright blues, white, reds, greys and stripes, don’t go for leaf / flowery patterns, these are all classic colours , also drop all frumpy big shoes

Op take a look at this lady, she’s really good.
I recommend her.
https://youtube.com/@marieannelecoeur?feature=shared

@Pepperypottery but I do think it’s a matter of what suits individually , age, and what suits your shape too - there’s lots of stuff that’s currently fashionable but simply doesn’t suit me as a 63 year old , a bit overweight , 5ft 4 woman- that includes high necks, stuff that makes you look part of the Amish community, barrel legged trousers etc - my 27 year old son and 26 year old GF think I look good , they always comment , my son ( and my H) always says he would take me for 10 years younger, black denim jacket or not!! But yes I probably do have a bit of a ‘boho’ style - I’m not aiming to look like an American news presenter. I for one think calf length clothes of this kind of style are aging beyond a certain age and flat clumpy shoes don’t help, whether fashionable or not -

I agree, it is very brave of you to put up photos of you in your outfits, @Nifty50something!

The first thing that strikes me - in maybe your second post, you used the term ‘second hand’ which I rarely see nowadays - and someone above very perspicaciously commented that all your clothes look second hand. This is cruel but true. I’m wondering if somewhere in your subconscious you do feel that pre-owned clothes should look a bit old and faded? Almost everything appears as if culled from a house clearing in the 1980s. Not helped by the clearly hopeless colour advice you received whenever, which now sees you buried in a sea of sludge. Or harsh bright blue. (Actually, that’s a Margaret Howell palette.💡Have a look. Wonderful clothes.)

For the love of God press pause on buying patterned tops … You’re only drawn to the ugliest colours and prints and it’s all a bit depressing. Don’t buy tops pre-owned - they’ll always look dated in colour or proportions. Go into shops - Sainsbury’s, Zara, Uniqlo and hold plain t shirts and shirts up to your face to see which colours work best. That way you’ll always have one fresh element to an outfit, even if the rest is recycled.

I don’t know why it is but even your nail varnish looks left over from another era. Sort of aggressive and not in a cute way. I nearly died of boredom the last time I had a manicure, around 2000 - but I feel you should make the effort …

Everyone’s praising your cropped trench. I don’t think it works for you. The shape’s all wrong. But it would at least look better without the blue dress.

In fact, as pp have indicated, you should embrace tonal dressing. Doesn’t mean everything has to be the same colour, just vaguely related colours.

Also - there’s lots of cotton in your photos. Fine - but I’d suggest you seek out some other fabrics to mix things up - heavyweight linen, silk, suede (very fashionable as jackets right now) leather, tweed (would have to look new!) mohair, cable knit, velvet, the odd bit of taffeta … Obviously they’re not all summer fabrics, but bear it in mind.

Have you a really good serum / moisturiser for your décolleté, arms, legs?

Website suggestions for inspiration:

And Daughter

Aime London

Apres Paris

Babaa

Eat Dust Clothing

Grenson

La Fetiche

Le Monde Béryl

Net-a-Porter *

Officine Creative

Petar Petrov

Rohe

@Jumpingsausage

says who?

@Jumpingsausage

oh, and OP clearly cares otherwise she wouldn’t be asking.

Just looked at the photos @Nifty50something and have to agree with@CapaciousHag Those are really not nice outfits, and do look like you've ransacked a house clearance from someone who's been living there since the 1960s... 😬

Sorry. Maybe look at those websites that @CapaciousHag has put links to.

.

errrr……I just did?

This is the style and beauty board so most posters care how they look.

I'd love to see some of the outfits you wear - do you have a particular style that you adhere to or do you just not buy clothes at all?

@Nifty50something I do quite like the denim dress and trainers combo OP - I would wear that ( regardless of what anyone else thinks, I think it’s the most flattering) - I’m 5ft 4 too and I rarely think cropped trousers are flattering if under5 ft 6 , unless capri style in great weather. I think a bit more layering up maybe too - tight plain top over a shirt etc would look nice on you - I def think a few less patterns - and ditch the clumpy shoes- but most of all go for what you like and suits - regardless of whether it’s ’on Trend’ ir not - some trends only work well if you are built like Kate Middleton and around her age etc .

My issue at 61 is that I'm size 10 with a classic hourglass figure (including a bust) and baggy/ unstructured clothes really, really don't suit me. I'm sure I could be more fashionable, but the risk is that I look like I'm wearing a tent!

@Clownsy great attitude and I agree!

are your clothes properly fitted? The most unflattering thing is trousers that are worn, bagging, don't fit properly etc.

If I was you I would go to a personal dressing service and just really treat yourself to some new outfits.

also hair makes a big difference, get your hair done nicely every six weeks.

Get some wide leg drawstring trousers- they will go with lots of things! A black pair and a reddish brown pair. You can wear them with your chunky sandals or trainers and tops you already have tucked in. That white shirt would look nice for a start.

@JanetheObscure totally agree but everyone is different I guess. My best friend was a tall willowy fashionista who adored brands like Cos but she looked good in anything. She would never buy from Primark, M&S or other such brands. When she volunteered at a charity shop she was the go to person for pricing such was her knowledge of fashion and clothing.

I am 30 and I actually love the brown trouser outfit - the problem for me is the shoes. They dull it - gold or nude would look much better in my opinion!

Also, consider a capsule wardrobe. I think they are a game changer. Check out this link:

How to build a capsule wardrobe for women over 50 | Woman & Home

Don’t throw out clothes that you love. What are your hair and make up like? Nails?

From the photo, I think the outfit is fine, if worn with different shoes (maybe closed toe sandals?) so maybe it’s the hair/make up/bag etc…

Aside from all that, try walking and standing tall with good posture, as that might help with how you’re perceived. Sometimes that happens when you feel better due to an outfit change, but it’s something you can do any time.