My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

I think you look great, and have some nice things - but you could definitely style them differently to create a more current feel. I like the DMs and you've got some lovely necklaces!

• Waistcoat from previous post - keep, try it over a white/ivory t-shirt with a longer necklace (the one you've got pictured the blue dress) and wear with your (new) jeans and trainers.

• NEW JEANS. Those jeans in your posts are doing you no favours. I would look for a high waist wide leg pair in a light wash.

• I also like a belt with a good buckle to draw the eye in at the waist. A choc brown would be a nice nod to your trainers without matching.

• Brown outfit - I like the top especially, and the cool necklace.

• Cropped trench - keep, but not with that blue dress. Again, would be nice worn casually over tops and jeans.

• Green top - keep, but it's those jeans that are letting that outfit down, try it with high-waist wide legs and your trainers.

• Lacy blouse - lovely, keep that. Different trousers for sure.

• Cool trainers, ditch the trainer socks.

Second the recs for Wearsmymoney on insta and also look at Dearbrookes.

NannyOgg I dunno. Im tall and hourglass. Nerys is really small but slim. She claims it suits everyone?? I dunno it suits me. ITs the 'old money' look. (hate that term - more like no money in my case lol).

You can be fashionable and comfortable OP, it’s not one or the other @Nifty50something

Nerys is hilarious @bigkahunaburger thanks so much for the recommendation. Her advice sounds good also - although I'm definitely keeping my denim jacket.

@evilharpy thank you for the offer but the cropped and cigarette trousers have gone into the charity bags and I'd better not dig them out as I might waver!

The green top and white shirt suit you but would look much better with something like 70s style patch pocket wide leg jeans. The cropped trench is ok (although it looks too big) but the dress is bad. You suit the denim dress but not with trainers and definitely not socks. It would look fab with ballerina flats, non-clumpy mary janes or delicate thin strapped sandals, a big slouchy bag and sunnies.

I’d get rid of pretty much everything else. The chunky footwear, ill-fitting jeans and diarrhoea brown trousers are particularly heinous, sorry!

Maybe have a look at Melissa Murrell on Instagram.

Surely you are not as naive as to believe that your British friend was brave enough to tell the truth and the whole truth? My friends always lie to me about things and thank the Lord for my foreign friends - I can always rely on them to say 'oi, you podged out!' and from my Brazilian friend 'oi, your arse/tits/jaws are sagging, come with me on hols and they shall give you a new arse/tits/jaws'.

I honestly think the key to looking stylish is wearing what you find beautiful and not giving a shit what others think. I also think physical comfort helps, so I never wear anything that feels restrictive (even though I am an hourglass and am supposed to define my waist, I only do this loosely). If what you’re wearing makes you feel like you’re shrinking away, if you’re pulling at things and fiddling, or squirming because you’re uncomfortable (physically or psychologically) these things filter into your whole bearing and make you look awkward, even if what you are wearing is the height of fashion.

It’s tough to find clothes at this time of year if you have autumnal colouring (I do too). I have recently got teal (the closest I can get to blue) and burgundy coloured dresses from Joanie and Free People - worth a look.

The thing that stands out in your photos is that your clothes don't fit you very well.

You could do perhaps with a smaller size?

Wearing a jacket that's over the dress etc hides your figure.

I'd suggest you try to accentuate your waist with a more fitted style and avoid throwing on a jacket that just doesn't 'go'.

The trousers aren't flattering - sorry.

I'm older than you by a long way . Today I'm wearing a pair of Hush chinos in dark grey (turned up at the bottom) that are slightly wider legs, and a white T shirt. I'll be wearing New Balance trainers as they comfy.

I wear quite a bit of Boden (dresses) but plainer colours which have fitted waists.
I'm an 8 to 10. I've a couple of pairs of their Girffriend jeans - given up on skinnies.

I also like Whistles (dresses in sales are good value) and tops etc from The White Company.

I don't 'do' fast fashion and I don't think age is relevant.
There are 30 year olds wearing what you are.
Maybe also focus on some accessories- bracelets, earrings, etc- as it does dowdy rather than dated IMO. And the colours are grungy.
Maybe think about blues, greys, white, even some deeper pink shades rather than sludgy green, brown and yellow?

I'll read more in a second but I think what's happening is that what you're wearing is on the edge of being a little bit "different " so palms not flowers etc but not out there enough that it appears as a style choice if that makes sense. If the waistcoat was yellow or another clashing pattern and the shoes weren't black that would say to me you've thought about it more.
I'm saying this as I fear I'm a little bit the same. I want to be out there but not brave enough
I'm trying to read trends and pick what I like paired with better quality basics

Black ciggie trousers are never out - I've seen them praised on the fashion pages of so many mags and broadsheets.

But it's how you wear them that counts.

And they can't be 'out' if so many shops sell them.

Great news! I have some pink candy striped Capri pants I bought in France years ago and dig out every time they become acceptable again. They always get compliments.

It's so funny you should say that! My friend who said that about my clothes is Polish and my Ukranian friend agrees with her. My British and American friends said "oh you look lovely, you look around 40, don't change a thing."

I agree with many of the posters here - great advice.

I would add that I think it's best to avoid making clothes choices that you like on other people unless they're close to your body shape. For example, most of the outfits on clothes websites are modelled by very tall, very slim young women who look great in them. The same outfit on a shorter, older, average sized woman could look extremely ageing and frumpy.

Sometimes it's small details that can make a difference. Things that age me are round/high necks, short sleeves, flat Mary Janes or walking sandals with dresses/skirts, baggy trousers, chunky knitwear, pastel shades, earth / sludgy colours... Your list will probably be different but by taking an interest in clothes, noticing positive feedback from others and following stylish people on SM, you can begin to build a wardrobe that flatters rather than flattens you.

I hate to say this but all the trousers are a very odd fit.

are they supposed to be flares? What style are the denims ?

They all look too short- if they are supposed to be full length. At 5 4" you are possibly buying a 'short' and they are too short.

If you want to wear flares they should be right down to your shoes and almost cover your shoes.

Shoes- they are really clumpy and not doing you any favours.

What brand are the denim jeans OP?

They are an odd shape. Sorry.

Usually, flares have tighter thighs and then flare below the knee.

Baggy boyfriend jeans are baggier all the way down.

I don't think you necessarily have to change your style, but you need to find jeans etc that fit- and yours don't.

They look like 'blokes' jeans.

I'm not saying buy from Boden, but if you want to look at various styles of jeans go to their website and you can see the different fits.

You might suit the wide leg or flares of their trousers.

Same for marks.

The waistcoat and the shoes are good but not with the dress. They are probably best kept for Autumn. The dress doesn't fit you well. It's too short and could do with being a bit loser. There's nothing you can put with the dress to update it when the fit is wrong.

The bootcut jeans aren't a good fit for you and the leg is too short. The other items are all good.

I agree - all the trousers look too short and are hanging too low.

OP, I think the fit of your clothes is maybe what's ageing you. All those clothes look like they're a bit too big/shapeless - although maybe that's the cut rather than the size. I think there's a tendency once we get to a 'certain age' to hide our figures and think we can't flash the slightest bit of flesh, and people do instinctively notice that. What I am trying to say is that you can get away with showing off your figure a bit more in more fitted/tailored clothes. I am slim with big boobs so the baggy style/loads of layers has never worked on me (I'd look like I was wearing maternity clothes) but I do think you need to dress for your shape. Your clothes look like you're trying to hide away and be anonymous rather than stand out at all. (Sorry, I don't mean to be rude and hope it doesn't come across like that!).

Murrell Personal Styling https://www.youtube.com/@mmpersonalstyling

Watch a few of these styling videos. They're so practical and simply explained.

Honestly, don’t put them in the loft. Take them to the charity shop. Clean slate is what you want, not holding on to a safety belt.

I’m of a similar age and whilst I don’t follow fashion I am assumed to be younger as opposed to older. I don’t think is to do with fashion per se. I honestly think it comes down to the way you move and whether you dress to enhance your waist (considered a sign of youth and fertility of course) then add in some hints of fashion in your choice of shoes for example. Another key thing is hair. First thing that seems to go at our age is thickness of hair. If you can keep your hair looking decent is also goes a long way.

I agree. I think hair is crucial. My hair is wild curly and long and messy, and I think it makes me look younger. Really 'neat' and 'styled' hair is aging. Just my opinion though.

So much conflicting info on here, it is just hilarious.

You really have to find your own way with style.

I just looked at all your pics, and following Nerys rules and what I would do (but thats just my humble opinion) - I would get rid of all of those outfits except all the shoes and the cropped coat.

Then I would get myself the following

1. Several pairs of high waisted wide leg full length trousers in various neutral colours
2. Several white, black, beige, fitted tees in short sleeve and long (not tank). Not low cut.
3. Several white/black/beige cropped cardigans (other rule I forgot no long waterfall cardigans - she calls them vagina cardigans and I cant unsee it now, lol)
4. some cool belts in neutral colours - or even a leopard print if you are feeling outrageous lol.
5. jeans - ribcage wide leg levis I have in black, cream, and blue.
6. You could also add tube skirts - I have several in plain neutral colours.
7. Couple of nice shirts. I got white and pale blue.

Sorted! Would only cost a few hundred as you already have a great jacket, and shoes. You have a lovely figure and this wardrobe would enhance it! Tuck in at front - makes the world of difference and will show off your waist.

I would only keep those that are natural fabrics or those things that have sentimental value
Getting rid of stuff is freeing.