My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

Love the new jeans and the blue dress - you've got a cracking figure. What I have learnt (and been guilty of) is when a dress skims your calves as yours does you need boots that cover the calf. So if I was wearing the blue now I would wear with knee high biker boots. It would also look good with the cropped trench you have.

For future purchases with dresses always get something that skims your ankles. It just looks better at our age. And avoid the denim jacket cos its too aging.
Ignore what people say about 20 or 30 year olds wearing stuff - its true but they look different in it to us. I was basically wearing stuff I wore at uni and thinking I still looked cool (ditsy dresses, denim jacket/biker jacket, docs or cons). It doesnt work at 50. Annoyingly.

Op 50 is not old but what your outfit in photo is.

Get rid of waistcoat, get rid of crop jeans or trousers. Rather than all over prints, try ti find single colour dresses, style them accessories, jewellery etc.

Here is an example. You can get similar at H&M, Zara at lower prices.

https://www.karenmillen.com/shirred-cotton-tiered-woven-maxi-dress/BKK24917.html?color=157&_gl=110b1ce2_upMQ.._gaNjMxNTAxOTI5LjE3NDcyMjc3MjY._ga_PQ6VBY5QT3*czE3NDcyMjc3MjUkbzEkZzAkdDE3NDcyMjc3MjUkajAkbDAkaDE0OTEwMzgxNjY.

I think this thread has got wings because so many of us feel the same!

OP, I asked for advice in a similar sort of vein a good couple of years ago. I really had no idea what to wear any more; I wanted clothes that flattered without having to spend a fortune, wtihout constantly updating and contributing to landfills, and without having to Think About Fashion (you reach a point where nothing looks fashionable because you remember everything from1st time around!)

My main take homes from my thread were how to wear wide trousers, and clothes to show off my waist. Wide trousers aren't all the same, there are many different versions and fits, and of course the fabric will affect how they hang - but get some that you like and you may find you never want to wear closer fitted trousers again. Clothes that show off the figure - well, it doesn't have to be bodycon dresses or everything hanging out (perish the thought!) Having been heavier I don't feel slim but the mirror tells me I look good in the right shape clothes. You'll feel the same when you find the right things. Go and try on lots of things, things that maybe you wouldn't normally think of, and see how they are!

I'd also add my unbreakable rules:

1. If you don't like it when you try it on you probably won't grow to like it

2.If it doesn't fit when you try it on it won't magically fit later 3.Everything looks better with the right bra 4.Everything looks better with decent posture

Hope you enjoy your new wardrobe, I feel so much better about my clothes these days than I did before MN helped!

That’s true. They are stylish but not youthful.

Can you recommend some of these influencers, please? I’m 58 and could do with some inspiration!

I like all of these but they are going to hinge on the shoe.

People generally take me for maybe 8 or so years younger than my age - probably 10 would be pushing it!

I think the later photographs show you wearing stuff that actually fits. It looks so much better. Whenever I try on jeans, I might try on half a dozen pairs to see what looks best. Personally, I have shortish legs and I am not wearing wide leg trousers. My father once related an unfortunate story about his youth and a tailor not making the full Oxford bag look because he told my father his legs were too short! On the other hand I am wearing full length straights rather than tapered and I have just discovered a pair of tapers in my wardrobe which are already bagged for the local op shop.

My personal view is that after a certain age wearing vintage is very ageing. People think you probably found it in the back of your wardrobe.

Try to avoid Aztec-type prints and Paisley prints.

Getting stuff altered makes a big difference - even small adjustments can immensely improve the look - a tailor can often suggest things that wouldn't even occur to you about improving the fit. And often the prices are very reasonable. I do hems and small repairs myself but anything more than that goes to the tailor - I'll never forget the time I decided to shorten some jacket sleeves.

I am sorry but nothing would rescue that palm dress. It's very unflattering. There are actually comfortable shoes that look more stylish than the original ones you were wearing although they usually cost a bit more. I am old enough now though to know that any slight rub in a pair of shoes in the shop turns into throbbing agony when you wear them out - they have to be comfortable to start with in my view. .

Years ago my mum had bags and bags of op shops clothes. Nothing fitted and none of it flattered. We bagged it back right up and sent it back where it belonged and I took my mother shopping for some nice modern stuff that fitted and some decent comfortable shoes. She felt so much better and looked so much better as well. I do occasionally op shop but I think you have to have an eye for stuff that looks current and really flatters rather than just being very cheap.

Hair and make up can make a big difference. It's important not to cling to any dated makeup that you wore in your "prime". I spend a lot on my hair because it's something I decided to prioritise - having longish blonde hair - rather than a natural grey bob. (People actually think I was/am a natural blonde!) I have never bought expensive skin care - just a 6 monthly dermatologist's appointment can do far far more than any moisturiser can - but I have very light troublesome Irish skin so that may be far too over the top if you were gifted with much better skin.

If you really are a "muted soft autumn" then the blue of the dress is wrong. Also the jumper and t-shirt are too white. Cream, ivory, taupe, rust, warm red, burgundy, olive green, peach and salmon look better than blues, white and black. Charcoal grey or a warm chocolate brown instead of black, cream instead of white. Think warm toned basics with a yellow base rather than cool blue-based whites. Wear your better colours near your face and colours not in your palette on your lower half.

Find some belts and use them to create definition around your waist. If you leave your jumper out over the wide legged jeans you look like a blocky rectangle. Accessories are great for styling an outfit rather than just wearing.

Also pick a colour theme for your outfits, no more than three colours or it gets messy. Wear items in the same shade but different textures. Keep one colour throughout but accessories in a different colour. Look up the "sandwich method" to add interest.

I'm sorry, are we seriously aspiring to this ?

LMAO

I can't believe the denim jackets either! But in my wardrobe I have a Ted Baker one from 2004 which I always loved and I'm waiting for the day it can come out again! You will have to announce it on here!😄

My favourite is dressedtothemax on Instagram as she is a similar height to me (5 foot), has a similar lifestyle and aged 58. A lot of people are much taller or younger. I also like Jo McCarthy on Tiktok MrsMacshonestreviews. I can relate to both of them although Jo is way taller than me. Guess you need to find people you can relate to and whose style you like. You can only find that by browsing social media.

I’m short and very much agree with pp that midi dresses are unflattering-just above the ankle or properly short/knee length is better. I bought a beautiful fifties style dress from Toast for a wedding (fitted at waist no not sack like) and was surprised how little I had to take it up to look just right-just so it sits at the bottom of the calf.
Regarding the jeans, I find M and S a bad fit-I tried on the wide legs but one size was too big, the smaller pulled at the crotch so had that cats whiskers look and tight on the thigh. What I liked about the New Look is they were fitted on waist and hip then loose on the thigh so were a lot more flattering. I think it’s just trying different stores and seeing their fit.

OP, those photos look much better- it I definitely agree about the jumper-if you wore them with a blouse ( I like Sezane Chlo but there are cheaper dupes) and tucked in the waist plus a nice belt, it would look much better. I like the guipre -it’s got a more structured look so would suit you .Having a shirt hang out over baggy jeans is very aging-looks like what my nan used to wear. You have a great figure-show it off with more fitted things that actually fit-and if you like softer colours, try rose, mid grey and French navy.

This thread has reminded me that I recently bought a really pretty dress; the colour is perfect, the fabric and fit are also perfect for warm weather BUT I need to take the hem up by about 2 inches, it's just an unflattering length and that alone adds years.

Taking up a hem is the only time I'll break my immutable rule about things fitting correctly. And you have to be careful because not every style/fabric is amenable to hemming.

I do love this thread and it’s making me think a lot about getting out of my shopping rut!

I agree. I also think your blue dress will be perfect for work.

This thread is proving very interesting! Its funny how different everybodys ideas are of what looks good as we get older (even some of the influencers mentioned cant agree on what exactly looks good!).
Ive read all the replies and thought 'yes! absolutely' and 'ewwwww.....no!' probably an equal amount!LOL😆

I did go into town today and deliberately look out for any older women I thought looked cool. TBH it was mostly floral dresses/white trainers and leggings/tees out there but one woman was wearing trainers, wide legged checked trousers and a breton tee over a long sleeved top, all topped with a baker boy hat!
It was just the kind of effortlessly cool Diane Keaton vibe that I couldnt pull off in a million years.
and isnt that what we all want?? to look effortlessly cool!?😉

Im aiming for diane keaton. Which is hard with a hourglass figure with massive norks! But im trying...lol

Totally agree with your DS @WinterFoxes

Suspect I’ve been influenced by friends who are designers (and I live in Shoreditch so hard to escape influences) as I always think that by the time something becomes a trend and reaches the high street, it’s time to stop wearing it as it’s already past the point of no return. But maybe I’m just finding excuses for me wearing what I like and what suits me. 😂

I stopped shopping on the high street years ago. It’s an advantage living where I do as there are always lots of sample sales so I’ve accumulated a lot of “interesting pieces” over the years and mix those with a combination of quality classics (such as Blackhorse Lane Atelier jeans and Issey Miyake Pleats Please dresses / trousers) and Vinted finds (like Yacco Maricard shirts). I almost always buy for quality / cut / fit and that way things last and I find myself fishing them out of my wardrobe 10 years later and wearing them again. I recently gave some of my clothes (that sadly I’ll never fit back into - my years of being a size 10 are over) to a friend’s 19 year old daughter and she was delighted (and prancing about in them all over her Insta) so my taste can’t be too bad. 😛 Not that I care really. My clothes make me happy and that’s what matters.

Im 57. I’m currently wearing these trousers with a white T-shirt tucked in.
Cheap, comfy and flattering.
https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E473685-000/00?colorDisplayCode=56&sizeDisplayCode=003
Add a leather jacket or this
https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E469775-000/01?colorDisplayCode=57&sizeDisplayCode=003

Definitely charity shops for blokes' ones. That Sainsbury's one I'm wearing is a pretty nice fit and I sized up for norkage

I got this last year which, with its black detail, only just stays on the right side of being something Ted Bovis in Hi-de-hi would sport!

https://www.coastfashion.com/product/warehouse-contrast-oversized-satin-blazer_bww04819?colour=pink

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc145786201

I have this and it goes with lots of outfits plus decent size pockets for all my crap

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc145786201

I have this and it goes with lots of outfits plus decent size pockets for all my crap

Now you are getting on top of your clothes think about the way you move. I was with my cousin last week who is a year younger than me but stoops and walks slowly, that’s really ageing. Im very short but walk tall and with a bounce in my step, think I heard that advice from Joan Collins years ago and it has served me well. Increase exercise such as yoga and Pilates all good for strengthening as we age.

Oooh I might get that. Just what Im after - are you tall?

Loving this thread, the pics & advice.
My 2p:

• jeans are a lot better, but possibly need a belt and definitely need a tucked in top. The cream top looks cheap I'm afraid.
• are you sure you are an autumn? The sludgy colours are hard to wear if not and don't seem to be making your skin sing though it is hard to tell. You don't seem that committed to your colours as some a very definitely not autumn and therefore your clothes don't work together as well as they might. It's actually much easier to build a wardrobe when you know everything goes. Even down to your shoes.
• the blue dress looks fantastic on you. I would definitely keep for when you want to feel powerful at work
• if you wear a waistcoat, it needs to be on its own with cool jeans and accessorised very 'currently'
• personally I love your T bar shoes & would wear them with everything but I know that is a niche view. They work for me anyway & are a good example of the sort of clothes that make us individuals.