My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

A couple of the items you've shown are lovely.
The broderie top would be great with some straight leg jeans. The brown trousers are a current shape but the top with it is dreadful ( sorry). The shoes are also far too heavy. Some bronze flipflops ( bought cheaply from Tk Maxx) or some lightweight sandals would-be tons better. A plain t-shirt in your colours or even a soft white would be great.

Im a soft autumn too & wear alot of khaki, cream & tan plus denim blue. You have a lovely figure & would be easy to dress. The trench coat would look great with a pair of straight leg jeans. But please step away from those very aging blue beads & patterned tops.

Have a look at Melissa murrell on Instagram to get an idea on what's curren

Whereas I saw the shoes and thought that was part of the issue because they make you look short and bottom heavy and I don't think that is the case. This is less about fashion, I think, and more about style. Wearing clothes that you feel good in and suit your lifestyle and sorry to say, shape.

There are some amazing women on Instagram worth following who are stylish without being slaves to fashion - clubforty.claire, the50plusgirl, thesilverkat - and the budget is massively varied.

Hi ladies, my two cents is do not look at the trends cause if you've never followed fashion that's just going to be very difficult and frustrating. I would suggest create a Pinterest board for your style and look on Pinterest for "style over 50s" and save the ones that catch your eye. Slowly Pinterest will show you more of what you already like and you will build a good reference. Then when you go shopping only buy stuff that you would seen in your Pinterest board. This is precisely how we design character outfits in the film and theatre industry for a reason, it works! Best of luck and I hope this process makes you feel happier and have fun with it :)

The shoe and dress combo is very aging. Both are appropriate on their own right, just not together.

you don’t need to follow fashion and change your wardrobe every season, it just needs to slowly evolve. M&S is good at the moment. Just go have a browse for items that you like.
Sainsbury's is also actually quite good too. Zara? Boden is getting back on track…

Sorry if already mentioned but I'd recommend getting your colours done if you never have. I can't imagine who the colours in your palm tree dress would suit although it is possible they suit you! But having colour analysis is just the best thing for when you're in a style slump. Francesca Kearns is the best in the biz.

I also second PP who say don't put the clothes you think don't suit any more into the loft. When do you think you'll suddenly start feeling great in them if you don't now?? Get rid! It'll be easier to see what you've got with less clutter, as you acknowledge. But it'll still be sort of mental clutter if it's in the loft.

DS works in high end fashion. he told me absolutely no one in high fashion follows 'trends'. The art is to find clothes that really fit and suit you and that slightly accentuate and exaggerate your personality. Not too much but just give it a bit of flair, regardless of fashion. I am starting to listen to him and choose clothes that really work for me. I don't often get it 100% right but am starting to look and feel a little less like a middle-aged cliche of Seasalt tops and M&S jeans (even though I do still wear those sometimes!)

@Nifty50something , as you're throwing yourself in to this, can I just introduce a bit of caution ... as you are so 'lost' at the moment, don't go and buy a new load of stuff without a plan.

My recommendations to start with would be the John Lewis stylist appointment that several people have mentioned - tell her that you want to be a bit up to date, but not necessarily 'fashion forward' and that you're looking for good basics for a capsule wardrobe.

The only things I would buy before doing this would be ordering a load of jeans and linen trousers from M&S in several different styles, try them all on and see what works then return the rest. Those kind of basics you can post pics of here and people will tell you what's working or not.

From there, you can see what tops, jackets, shoes you have that do work with those basics, and then move on to other bits.

Personally, I wouldn't put those two pieces together as they don't pull together in a cohesive style. I might add a crocheted cardigan with the dress and some massive bangles and sandals to go for a slightly boho look. and I'd wear the waistcoat with one of the lovely linen shirts that are popular this summer, with wide-legged trousers that are fitted around the waist not elasticated and good trainers, for a casual academic look.

I think the issue is what you're pairing together plus accesories.

E.g. the green dress is fine without the waistcoat, unbuttoned lower and with chunky jewellery maybe a luminous green bangle and black trainers.

The white lacy top is fine with wide leg jeans and the over-sized jacket etc. The blue dress doesn't work with that jacket.

It's not just about being on trend as much as putting outfits together.

I think thesilverkat is a fabulous example of someone who isn't fashionable, but is extremely stylish. Much more what I aspire to than following trends.

(Remembers the futility of saying 'order a load of jeans and linen trousers from M&S in several different styles' at the moment ...😖)

You look fab @CrackingOn50!

Your descriptions doesn't really help, its making me think rockabilly which I find quirky/cool not 'old' but I also feel thats not actually how you dress.

I think if you dress for your tastes/body shape/in what makes you FEEL nice instead of following fashion you never go out of style.

What else is going on?

I'm in my late 30s and I find people can tell my age (wave me through ID checks without even a second thought etc...) when my grey is are coming but if I dye my hair I suddenly get ID'd everywhere and asked by cold callers if my mam home etc... my styles the same in both scenarios.

I'm very lapsed in how often I dye my hair (suppose to be every 6 week but it could be 3-6 months before I bother) but I can drop about 20 years in 30 minute with a home hair dye box.

Thank you again! I nipped out at lunchtime and picked up some of those m&s wide jeans several posters recommended. I love them! The old jeans were from cotton traders.

I actually think with what I have I can put together a decent casual capsule (for example I have some plain uniqlo tshirts that fit well). But I still need smart casual clothes for work and that's where I think I really go wrong. Any ideas for specific trousers that aren't jeans would be very welcome please?

Here are my new jeans, the outfit I wore to go shopping, and also another photo of my blue dress without the jacket over it. Is it any good? It fits really well and would be perfect for work if it looks OK?

While out shopping I noticed lots of older women wearing the type of clothes I'm now going to give to charity and I can see they're really aging. I hope this means I'm developing a bit of an eye (though I know I need practice!).

That's a huge improvement.

Ok your palm dress ... nice dress.... but what in god's name are those shoes under it?! Lose the waistcoat immediately
It will never be just about the dress, it'll be about your hair, your make-up, the comfy shoes, sunglasses.
You can buy comfy shoes that don't look orthopaedic

It's not about second hand or not, or what's in, it strikes me that you're just not interested in fashion. You're focus is being comfortable, which let's face it is a euphemism for no effort, no flair (and I say that as someone who often dresses for comfort but then my vanity gets the better of me at some point).

Can you find a stylist? To work with you to develop a comfy look, with flair?

I'm 49 and mostly shop at Oliver Bonas to keep things current and buy a couple of things a season. DD1 says I dress like someone in their 20s/30s. Probably when she was tapping me for money, but I'll take it. 😆I'm 5'7" and a size 12, fairly well proportioned.

At the moment I wear wide leg trousers, skinny t shirts, vest tops, sometimes with a kimono shirt, skorts or mid thigh or slightly shorter shorts, comfortable knee length dresses or midi, wedge heel, platform or other comfortable sandals or pumps. Most things cotton or linen, not so much viscose or polyester. Probably a cardigan or leather jacket rather than a denim jacket.

What the model is wearing probably best represents my look just now. I do actually have that top and trousers (in red, green and black as they are bloody great). I'd wear a plain top or shirt for work instead.

www.oliverbonas.com/fashion/washed-red-wide-leg-trousers-378540#selection.color=17

@Nifty50something to me the last outfit is great- ( that’s kind of my style though —so I’m biased) blue dress is nice for formal - jeans good although top a bit aging still . Maybe a T shirt and a slouchy thin material style like

I think the blue dress is a bit dated but looks nice on you @Nifty50something . The other outfits are not bad at all and you also look nice in them. I'd probably wear the trainers with the jeans. You could wear some espadrilles or platform sandals with either. I have these, they are so comfy and have a proper sole so are more durable than standard espadrilles.

https://www.clarks.com/en-gb/coledale-strap/26181248-p

The red (the ones I have) are more orange than red, just to know.

@Nifty50something you look stunning in the blue dress and the other outfits are a great improvement.

I would ditch that particular waistcoat, at least over a dress! Your clothes sound fine to me, there is nothing wrong in wearing old favourites, and trying to keep up with fast fashion is bad for the planet and your credit card. In a couple of weeks when it is warmer the baggy trousers will go and lighter more cropped trousers will be out and about. In the meantime make sure it isn’t your hair and make up that is ageing you, I think that is much harder to spot and harder to change than just rushing into m and s and spending a fortune on stuff you don’t really like and won’t wear next year.

We’ve talked a lot about trousers but not a lot about sleeves. It’s a personal preference but I find short sleeves which are fitted and go to just above elbows, or mid upper arm, really “frumpy” (god I hate that word). Is it just my own personal ick?

I like either sleeves which are 3/4 length (which come to bracelet length on me) or looser cap sleeves.

I feel that’s the issue with the blue dress.

Actually I think even the blue dress could be great for work with the right accessories and still look pretty up to date. Current styles are probably a bit looser generally.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say in my experience it's a waste of time looking at 'influencers' on youtube. I've looked and never see anything I like that suits my lifestyle.

I do think it's worthwhile having your colours done and maybe taking some style advice from a stylist in store.

Depends on your arms.

I don't like cap sleeves as my upper arms are awful.