Help! Sudden realisation that I am frumpy!

[EnfysDilys]

Oh Lord, I need some style advice!
I was waiting at the checkout in Next earlier, and had this sudden realisation that I’m 50 and frumpy!
I seem to be wearing the ‘slightly overweight in my 50’s’ uniform of a seasalt type jersey top and trousers.
I haven’t changed my hair or make up in years (shoulder length with a fringe) and I just look tired and worried all the time!
What can I do Style Gurus! I’m not ready to be frumpy!

I agree that the quality of Next clothing has deteriorated. It used to be quite good.
I would start with a visit to the hairdresser. Maybe get a couple of inches chopped off your hair. A good haircut makes a difference.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with Seasalt per se. I’m a great believing in wearing what you feel good in. Remember, the fashion industry wants you to keep constantly buying new clothes, so it will try and tell you that x and y should no longer be worn.
There is nothing worse that someone who is clearly uncomfortable, whether that is due to the shoes they are wearing, or the clothing being too hot for the weather etc.
I would say if you ever get the chance to shop in small boutique shops then do so. I have bought some great pieces from these places.

I am curious about the comments about prints? So do people not wear tops or dresses with prints? Do they make them look frumpy? Off to change my wardrobe

another vote for the kind of colour and style analysis which was popular in the ‘80s. Understanding your colour palette and the geometry of your body makes picking amclothes and putting outfits together so much easier.

some consultants are better than others, ideally you want someone who draws out each persons best features rather than give the same advice to everyone.

ask anyone whose style your admire for suggestions in your area. Totally life changing and saves money over time as your existing shoes/boots/coats etc will already go with any new things. Also over time you can afford to spend more on one good item when you already have things which you love, make you feel good and will cover any eventuality.

Enjoy.

Same! 38 years old and wearing baggy jeans and a NIN cropped t-shirt again very happily 🤣

Any advice needs to be adjusted according to your own colouring and shape. There are no universal rules, it all depends on you. Once you grasp your shapes and colours , everything follows and you look great with minimal effort.

Grow your hair, loose weight, get a tan. 🙂
I’m 50 as well and have done these lately, (halfway through the weight loss) I go to the gym every day and a few people have said I look 40. A few fellas talking to me a bit more, which isn’t brilliant but at least I know I’m looking better then I did.

Next on line is great for all the branded stuff

Just watch out as it’s sometimes more expensive than than on the website for the brand!

Heck, some people won't even do colour nm prints!😄

I think prints are subjective though. What I find frumpy in a print others might find classy and restrained. Similarly the kind of loud quirky prints I like might be frumpy or childish to someone else.

If I was going to pick a frumpy shop though it would be Bonmarche, even though my 80 yr old mum loves it!

Oh really? Thank you for that Intel x

and smile

I have a mad bag lady zone 😂 There's a corner shop, the Factory Shop, a takeaway and a newsagent within 8 minutes' walk of my flat. I will drag myself there in whatever I have on - bobbly leggings, something that may once have been a tunic/dress, whichever trainers are in front of me - and no makeup, with the moustache of an adolescent boy and eyebrows like half-dead caterpillars.

Any further, I at least try to look like a human being.

I really liked what @EggnogNoggin said about reworking your happiest past! I'm now in the third iteration of my 1970s look; it came back in the 1990s and then, around 2020, all the skinny jeans & kitten heels (neither of which I wore) were suddenly replaced by wide, flared trousers with clumpy shoes. Boring dresses touted as flattering, but which bunched up around my waist or chest, gave way to flowing shapes with innovative details. I was transfixed, almost yelling out loud "I know this!!" I opened a few credit accounts and bought several of everything.

That feeling of "This is my style, I know how to wear it and I'm having it!" was such a joy! I love the non-prescriptive mood fashion's in right now. Whether you're a rockabilly woman at heart, a sexy Pulp Fiction type, a lumberjack, a Manic Pixie Dream Girl or Jackie Kennedy's shadow, there's a current look to suit you - and it will make you feel like you've found your place in the world 🤗

@CarefulN0w - "bubble perms, ra-ra skirts & Frankie says relax T-shirts"

You probably can't get the same t-shirts now, but there are bubble skirts and layered minis galore! I keep looking at them (I've got one bubble skirt but it's a midi) and thinking it's obvious that ra-ras are on the way back, but you can already get the same look.

I'm seeing a LOT more models with very curly hair, too, so get the perm if you want it! Or a very good curler; those 1980s perms were only good for a month, then you had the two months of frizz before renewing your assault 😆

https://www.tribal-tshirts.com/products/frankie-says-relax-neon-t-shirt

First step keep out of Next

Any brightly coloured Sketchers need to go in the bin / charity

^^ fixed it for you 😬

Next are awful, where style goes to die. So drab.

I grew out my fringe have long bangs, layers in my hair. Went gloriously grey. Use the Aussie purple shampoo.

Weirdly went back to compact foundation I used when young applied with an expensive brush which was worth it. Bought nars liquid blush. Touch of bronzer. MAC individual eyeshadow. Maybelline mascara because lashes are sparser. A buzzy thing for stray chin, upper lip hairs.

Clothes bought lovely sweaters for the winter long and flowing. Now in copycat Ralph Lauren striped boyfriend shirts, have a couple of unstructured jackets, a couple of nice jacket like cardigans.

I'm back into jewellery that I was mad about in the 80s. Pearls are back in a big way. Brooches are back too. I put on perfume every morning after make up .

My sons partner 23 did a fashion degree so gives me the trends.

I don't wear trainers ever. Denim espadrilles are in this summer. Son and partner bought me a pair. Lunar London do the softest leather plimsolls.

M&S knocked it out of the park with summer dresses last year. Haven't checked this year.

OH And fgs wear petticoats, one full length, two waist slips of Di lengths

My sons think mums very trendy these days 😁

I love this post.

Agree with another poster.

Hair and eyebrows done makes a huge difference.

I'm 44 and still pretty much wear the 90s grungy /boho style I did when I was 15, just in a larger size!

Ha! You’re so right. Thank you.

I booked a personal stylist at John Lewis. That, and The Curated Closet have completely changed how I dress and think about my clothes. I am 64 and just had a fantastic trip to Italy. For the first time I have felt confident about what I was wearing, which was important to me as I didn't want to let my son down, being mother of the groom. I was so over the moon when I got complements about what I was wearing, both at the wedding and on day trips out and about.

I have lost weight over the last year but I do think that getting professional advice was key for me. Good luck op - you can make a change and feel really good too. Just to add - my husband has now booked a personal stylist so it will be interesting to see what comes of that!

I got my varicose veins done privately. So worth it, wearing shorts and dresses for first time in years.

@LivingDeadGirlUK I have a couple of Disturbia dresses, they're lovely and I agree, really good quality compared to the high street. But I rarely wear them because they're not very practical 🤦

Completely agree. I wouldn’t consider anything own brand from Next unless it’s for the kids. However, their fulfilment model is brilliant and often I will order through them for branded goods so I receive them more quickly (& as I have an annual delivery subscription it makes financial sense too).

53 here OP and I had a bit of a moment a few years back. I did do Botox on my forehead which has been great so I could get rid of my fringe but obviously not everyone’s cup of tea.

John Lewis do free personal styling if that helps.

I wear a lot of flared trousers and jeans with nice smart trainers like Nero Giardini, with T shirt and casual blazer. I dont do heels very often so for summer I wear Ugg sandals flatforms. For work linen wide legged suits again with a smart trainers.

You will get your woo back, just a few tweaks and you’ll be feeling great again.