Can’t find ANY clothes to suit my body!

[Verbena17]

Having a nightmare - worse than most springs when I’m worrying about the summer and what to wear.
My body is not great and I’m also currently feeling like I’ve gone off every single possible item of clothing there is out there!

So traditionally, I’m a pear shape but in recent years I’ve being just plain round!
I’m pinning a photo of what I think my body looks like but I have less fat on top of thighs, bum and back. Pretty sure though I have lipoedema so I have large arm tops and my knees have too much weight around them.

My thighs are large and my calves are too. And now, it’s not just a tummy pooch I’ve got, it’s the top of the tummy under my bust too! So from the side, to me it looks like my cross section from tummy to bum is huge! For that reason, I don’t like wearing dresses.
I used to be curvy but I now I just feel blob-like.

Any good ideas for hiding (everything)?
I live in jeans and basic plain tops with 3/4 length sleeves.
There are some pretty tops about but none look or feel right to me.
I order stuff online then send everything back.
I’m currently a size 18, sometimes 16 in looser tops.

I usually shop at Next, Fatface, Weirdfish (tops too short) Seasalt etc but I’m not really loving of their stuff this spring.
The other issue is I don’t work and so I’m at home mostly doing house work and walking the dog. That’s basically it so apart from the odd meal out now and again, I don’t need anything super lovely. I just want to look slightly better put together and not as boring. I don’t like patterns or colours that would make me stand out - I’m an introvert for sure! I just want to blend in but look nice, so nobody thinks blimey, what’s she wearing!?

I like wearing loose, comfy trousers that are well cut and hang nicely but I can’t find any. The wide leg trousers actually make me look bigger I think and the ankle grazers cut off my not particularly long legs. I’m about 5ft 5”.
Help! 😂😬 any ideas?

Can I just ask, are people doing housework in jewellery and beautiful tops?
If I go out, I’m heading to a garden centre cafe with my mum or DD or maybe popping to see a movie at the cinema (3 ish times a year), so that’s the reason I just don’t get why I would need high quality, high fashion clothes.

All I’d need is a couple of options for different seasons in case I go out for dinner - I do this with DH and friends maybe once every 3 or 4 months.
But the options I have for those times, I want to be lovely go-to options that I feel good in.

https://www.roman.co.uk/petite-ditsy-paisley-midi-dress-14475160
I know this is a petite but this style suits me and I'm a 16/18 5'2". Roman have some great clothes and they are incredibly well made.

Can I just ask, are people doing housework in jewellery and beautiful tops?

no! But housework doesn’t take that long does it?

I tend to wear old leggings and slouchy top for housework/gardening/exercise, then shower and change into a dress or jeans and top, bit of jewellery and light make up to go out to the shops, supermarket, errands, park, cafe etc.

Maybe you need to get used to the idea of dressing for yourself, to feel good in yourself?

@Verbena17 - I have your shape and I’ve concluded that a top and trousers/ jeans is just unflattering and a dress looks so much better! Jumpsuits look nice but I don’t feel comfortable in them . A pair of trousers and a matching top looks nice, or if you want to wear jeans then a navy top with dark blue jeans or black top with black jeans. I also prefer a v neck top. I think the wrap tops I favour are starting to look a bit dated - and I’m late 40s too. I think Seasalt has some lovely linen dresses or matching separates and can cut well for this shape. Also monsoon - it’s not just party dresses they do “normal” clothes as well. I also like white stuff

Definitely not here! But I do feel better when I put a fun or pretty pendant on.

I am a similar shape to you and need more length in tops because big boob pull them up and then big tummy is half revealed. I can't stand patterns apart from spots or stripes as they make me fee huge.

I have been wearing linen/cotton (usually) collarless shirts - the type that are made in italy and you often see on markets. The V gives me a little more flatttering shape and they are not boxy or cropped which cuts me in all the wrong places.

For trousers I have been wearing soft sort of yoga pants (not quite hareems but less structured and heavy than joggers) - flowy but often with a nice high, soft waist. This works for walking the dog and is comfortable round the house as I WFH. I get that this might feel a bit hippy for you, especially after jeans, but I am cool, presentable and anything could be going on underneath in terms of my tummy!

https://www.johnlewis.com/boden-hareem-joggers/alder/p5701958?size=12&sppc=2dxmixedfashionBAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gadsource=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD2el1zLYq8KBAQwnzpT3wVm2C-46&gclid=Cj0KCQjw2tHABhCiARIsANZzDWr5FvaSTA5GnjnAJcVRz5nbPZWd30NlNkzvxjuhOzMz6QcPjaNGmgEaAlthEALwwcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

or these: https://www.poemelondon.com/products/harem-trousers?variant=50381734281547

Shirts:
https://www2.hm.com/engb/productpage.1219107010.html

https://www.vivi-direct.com/products/italian-cotton-gauze-ladies-mandarin-collar-muted-spotty-shirt-top

The other thing that has made a real difference was a decent bra. I look about two sizes smaller when I have it on - it's a minimiser one from Triumph - but it stops the matronly ledge from shoulder to shoulder and suggets I might have a waist.

Oh and Long Tall Sally has turned out to be a revelation - all their tops are longer in waist!

I am really struggling with the same issues. Things I am looking to wear this spring / summer that I also think would look good on your are :
High waisted jeans / linen trousers that straight or mom style and cut off at the ankle. A scoop neck basic sleevless top,.layered with a lightweight blouse. I am going oversized and then rolling the sleeves, tucking the front etc.
Then maybe some dresses or jumpsuits that highlight the waist.

Then you need to style it.. sunglasses , jewellery, handbag, candles etc. I always thinks nothing looks good on me but realised recently it's because I need to style the outfit.

Good luck

I'm not the biggest fan of leggings under a dress but some day's it's just a really practical option.
Might be worth going to a clothing session at somewhere like John Lewis to get an idea of what works on you. Don't necessarily have to buy lots but easier to have in person support and advice.

Im sick of all the linen this year though. I mean I know it’s a popular choice for the summer but it seems thats all there is to it.Either that or a linen mix. And I just cant wear it because I can iron or wash it properly and it creases even more when you wear it.

Regarding housework, no - I absolutely wear the worst scruffy clothes for both housework (which is minimal in my case, luckily for me my husband does most of it!) and gardening (my passion).

But for everything else in my life I like to look the best I can. Going shopping, out for breakfast/lunch, cinema, meeting my daughter, garden centre, out with the grandchildren, etc. etc. It gives you an absolute lift to wear lovely things and I really think you'll feel the benefit too. You seem to be on the right track now, OP, just have the confidence to carry it through.

Going for high quality fabrics helps too - think silk, cashmere, linen, 100% wool, 100% cotton, and leather bags and shoes. Don't be frightened to experiment - Vinted can help here - look at the better manufacturers, I have had particular success with East linen stuff (their tailoring is excellent) and various boho silk blouses. Also cashmere (obviously not for this time of year). You don't get a winner every time, but because the items are so reasonable, it's worth trying.

I'm a size 16 now and dress to please myself - nobody is bothered about what I look like - today I was out and about in wide leg 'camouflage' jeans, black t shirt and black and beige 'chanel' two tone pumps. Yes, people could be judgemental and say an over 70's lady shouldn't be wearing this stuff - but who cares? Enjoy wearing your new clothes and getting a sense of yourself back OP.

I know it feels wrong, but to look slimmer and put together you need to define your waist (even if it feels you haven't got one) That means tucking in your top and wearing a belt. I get that your self conscious about your tummy, so put a blazer, or cardigan on. I promise it will distract from your tummy.

Pushing the sleeves of your top/blazer up to just below your elbows will also make you look slimmer and put together.

Trousers that flare will be your best bet for evening out your proportions. I find that autograph bootcut jeans are wide enough in the leg fir my chucky thighs and knees

For dresses, try empire line maxi dresses, which will give you a high waist, make you look taller and hide your tummy

Have you tried Roman OP? They have these lovely stretchy tops that cover your arms and drape nicely over lumps and bumps, and they’re long! I’ve had 3 c-sections so always want something a bit longer to cover the pooch!

https://www.roman.co.uk/textured-abstract-print-shirt-19382860

Thanks @MoveYourSelfDearie

Dont you think though empire line makes some people look pregnant? Think it would me.
I can’t wear fabrics with any amount of wool in as I have chronic eczema & have to manage it with soft fabrics & Cetraben emollient cream.

I can’t wear many pumps - I have a few pairs but I have plantar fasciitis on and off and so shoes are a nightmare.

It sounds like I’m making excuses but I’m just trying to explain why I don’t do many of the normal things others seem to.

I think also, as someone who doesn’t bring many unnecessary things into the home, as I’ve declutterred and live a much more minimal life now, I feel as though I shouldn’t be buying many clothes. That being said, my drawers and wardrobe did not provide many options last weekend when I needed some to go out in! 😂

Thanks @User839516 yes, I’ve got a few blouses from Roman. I find them hit and miss but I’ll have another look.

Thanks @DaphneduM will check out some options you mentioned.

I sometimes watch a lady on YouTube who shows you how to dress for your figure and so I know that I should be balancing my shoulders to hips, pulling in my waist (wherever that’s gone) etc.

Candles?

I love this and think it would suit you. The braids on the top direct the gaze upwards.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Allegra-Smocked-Sundress-Womens-Sleeveless/dp/B0CRH2QPBX/ref=mp_s_a_1_66?crid=CXWTRQ3OTROI&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.T5tiT5jcdD9CGF0rXrpw8SfWdsC2wWSIzNGMnr0UuDZ51p6iPvmva3xB9BbULOJsA_zTvncJ6WnyUcLS65MuA07DZimKjyemFRlzx2luUJZt8byqAhbhS7bnv3TkRLo4fo0F4wdNQt-HcWngkg-5h3A30YsVEZzx-ddl9wDn25NiiZslo1Ay1TFiLvVeSMgJLnvwBxuiKvUDNHR7lAbzBn3KzI55kGx3TqjxVCaZvXT7PV_YTcvixDHf6AWl-lDa3YPJ9hYGGHE0odsovDn0WP-gUv6wBZ3j74Vi-bY4jc4.muFcJvmUVpExwLBS1s0YB8mxouKGMBF9dDjJ0Ku984g&dib_tag=se&keywords=tencel%2Btiered%2Bdress&qid=1746207867&s=clothing&sprefix=tencel%2Btiered%2Bdres%2Caps%2C154&sr=1-66&xpid=cn06vEIuLosOz&th=1&psc=1

I’m in my 50’s, I’m a similar shape and have a large tummy and small boobs, I definitely risk looking pregnant from the side if I’m not careful! I also tend to live in jeans and casual tops, current trend for frills and oversize dresses look ridiculous on me so I don’t try and follow the current trends.

I have found buying better quality, classic clothing suits me better than cheaper, high street fashion, I have blazers in different colours, some have a slightly shaped waist, they instantly elevate jeans and a t-shirt into a smart stylish outfit.

I recently bought a pair of black, wide leg, cropped jeans from Phase Eight for less than £10, they are really flattering as the material is quite structured round the tummy so held me in a bit, topped with a slightly loose basicT-shirt, tucked in slightly just to give a small bit of waist definition, but with the rest of the top helping to disguise the rest of the tummy area, also just bought a Jaeger hip skimming blazer for £8 which looks great with jeans, again hiding the tummy area.

I trawl Vinted and Ebay to pick things up cheaply, this enables me to try out different shapes and styles cheaply, if they suit me then I look at more items from that brand, if they don’t I just sell on.

🤣🤣 sorry didn't mean to write candles and I can't even remember what it was meant to be 🤣

I'd look at this from Melissa Murrell and Fabfatandfortyplus on Instagram
.

I don’t have any suggestions but just wanted to say I hear you! I am curvy with largish boobs and I feel the shops have nothing to suit me in tops these days. Everything seems to be a short length and ends above or on my tummy which is totally unflattering, I need a longer length top. Also everything is either high necked or cut straight across and I need a v neck or scoop neck.

Aha yes - it’s Melissa Murrel I watch and mentioned above somewhere.
I just don’t always love her choice of very ‘yummy mummy’ clothing sometimes but in general, I do like what she says and she isn’t judgey.

Exactly @Emmz1510 - you’re so right!

Not sure where the video is - this one is an Expedia one 😂

I am a 16/18 with thick legs, large tum and no waist.
I am currently loving my White Stuff Tia jeans and would urge you to try them, never thought I would feel good in wide legs but these just work on me and are so comfy. I like the little blouses around this season too, especially the broderie anglais ones.

Pulled these off my ‘outfits’ folder on Pinterest to give you an idea of how I think I should dress ….if I was slimmer, and the old me used to dress quite like this I guess.