Can’t find ANY clothes to suit my body!

[Verbena17]

Having a nightmare - worse than most springs when I’m worrying about the summer and what to wear.
My body is not great and I’m also currently feeling like I’ve gone off every single possible item of clothing there is out there!

So traditionally, I’m a pear shape but in recent years I’ve being just plain round!
I’m pinning a photo of what I think my body looks like but I have less fat on top of thighs, bum and back. Pretty sure though I have lipoedema so I have large arm tops and my knees have too much weight around them.

My thighs are large and my calves are too. And now, it’s not just a tummy pooch I’ve got, it’s the top of the tummy under my bust too! So from the side, to me it looks like my cross section from tummy to bum is huge! For that reason, I don’t like wearing dresses.
I used to be curvy but I now I just feel blob-like.

Any good ideas for hiding (everything)?
I live in jeans and basic plain tops with 3/4 length sleeves.
There are some pretty tops about but none look or feel right to me.
I order stuff online then send everything back.
I’m currently a size 18, sometimes 16 in looser tops.

I usually shop at Next, Fatface, Weirdfish (tops too short) Seasalt etc but I’m not really loving of their stuff this spring.
The other issue is I don’t work and so I’m at home mostly doing house work and walking the dog. That’s basically it so apart from the odd meal out now and again, I don’t need anything super lovely. I just want to look slightly better put together and not as boring. I don’t like patterns or colours that would make me stand out - I’m an introvert for sure! I just want to blend in but look nice, so nobody thinks blimey, what’s she wearing!?

I like wearing loose, comfy trousers that are well cut and hang nicely but I can’t find any. The wide leg trousers actually make me look bigger I think and the ankle grazers cut off my not particularly long legs. I’m about 5ft 5”.
Help! 😂😬 any ideas?

I guess so but where would I wear it? Round the house? I can’t nip about cleaning out the cat litter tray or scrubbing the bathroom/changing beds in that!

I hate shopping in person and I don’t think I’d like chatting to someone irl about my clothes.

Best of luck with it all then x

I asked earlier if you had a budget for new clothes, @Verbena17? (I’m particularly conscious of the financial restrictions of caring work - but that might not be definitive for you.)

Some of the clothes you’re choosing are very cheap - which is ok for skinny teens but does no favours for a mature, size 16/18 woman. Obviously good plain basics will be most convenient for day to day life - but for times when you want to feel more dressed up you may want to explore better quality brands.

Places like

Kemi Telford
East
Palava
Community Clothing (outerwear and denim skirts in particular)
Toast

Either in the sales or via pre-owned sites. The elevation in quality - design, fabric, cuts, colours - really would help you to feel happier with your wardrobe.

Pick you consider your best body feature and put emphasis on that, eg do you have a relatively small waist, if you do then wear a belt with dresses/ dresses that cinch in at the waist
I think a long flowery summer dress might suit you

You say you wear 'tops' - what sort?
Wear woven fabrics, or a 100% cotton t-shirt material that can hang loosely from the bust. Don't ever wear the synthetic types of t-shirts that jut stretch and cling.
Go for scoop or V-necks, not crew or boat necks.

Do you know what 'your colours' are? I always strongly recommend professional colour analysis, it is worth every penny, because the right colour top can work miracles.

Wear lovely necklaces and earrings. Get a hairstyle that shows off your earrings.

I think OP you are going to have to get over the whole thing about not wanting to show you are bigger thing.

whilst not wanting to accentuate parts of our body I think we over estimate how other people view us. You may feel a bit barrel like but I can assure you not many people will be looking at you thinking ‘good grief look at her’. You are not a gargantuan size so you aren’t going to be standing out as some anomaly

a linen or linen blend shirt dress can look chic and simple in summer. You can get shorter sleeves or roll up sleeves. The split at the front or sides will not have people gasping at your legs. This really is not going to happen. Also no one will look at the bottom quarter of your calf and think anything. You will be covered but chic and you can find shirt dresses at every high street store. Get a darker colour if it feels safer at first. Wear with sneakers or sandals.

If your happy to shop at Shein, then try these trousers, them come in a standard and petite length, and I cannot recommend them highly enough.

SHEIN LUNE Drawstring Waist Wide Leg Trousers
I discovered amazing products on SHEIN.com, come check them out!
api-shein.shein.com/h5/sharejump/appjump?link=lFJ0Tle78yy_8&localcountry=GB&url_from=GM71072298832

@TheRavenKingsDaughter no budget is not a problem, although I’m not someone who would sound hundreds on a single item or even a few,
Whilst I don’t work, my DH has a good job and I can spend as I need.

I think people are underestimating just how minimal/basic my life is. I wear cheapish plain tops because I’m super stressed supporting my autistic son all the time, so as I long as I’m clean and look half decent, I’m good with that. I’m never going to spend £90 on a pair of jeans just because I’m quite thrifty and just don’t see the need to spend a lot the majority of the time.

I’ll maybe try ordering some stuff in slightly bolder colours thats suit me.
Ive not had my colours done but my skin tone and hair make it quite easy to know what colours suits and don’t suit me.

I never shop at Shein due to their awful lack of ethics, however, I’ve seen more things I like there lately than anything, but I’m standing firm - I’m not buying from them.
So I’ll check out crinkle wide leg trousers on other sites.

I don’t really wear jewellery as it fidgets me, or do anything with my hair. It’s long and I just shove it in a bun when I’m at home.

I just can’t seem to get the ‘tops’ thing right - they’re either too clingy or too saggy and I look like a potato sack which makes me appear bigger.

Im now seeing that losing weight is my only other option 😂

I do like this top
www.boden.com/products/maisy-rikrak-trim-top-violet-quartz?variant=42525033431249&tc_ch=ps&tc_ve=goog&tc_so=pmax&tc_me=cr&tc_ca=drop-offer&tc_au=&tc_cr=na&tc_campid=UK+-+Performance+Max+-+Priority+-+New&tc_adgroupid=&tc_kwid=&tc_matchid=&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjL7gz4SFjQMVLa5oCR1DojGTEAQYBiABEgLIq_D_BwE

And I do like this top with say wide leg navy linen trousers or jeans
www.johnlewis.com/boden-ava-scallop-trim-t-shirt/p113187392

This sort of look is in fashion at the moment. I’ve chosen this New Look one as it gives you different ways of wearing the same thing. You can also get short sleeved versions. And fine to wear a shirt with wide legged trousers / joggers. www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/green-striped-double-cloth-muslin-shirt/p/917462239

I have come to the conclusion that I am going to French tuck my shirts as opposed to leaving them out at the front. And yes, I have a stomach. However, I’ve also lost 3 stone in the past 2 years. Lots more to go though.

It’s apparently fashionable to tuck on side in at the front and leave one side out. Not sure if I’m ok with that though.

And I’ve just ordered 3 Boden T-shirts, including the bright blue one above.
When I was younger (I’m now late 40’s) I used to wear a lot of Boden stuff, but I was slimmer then than I am now.

Yes I just don’t get the tucked in thing - where every man and their dog are tucking everything in! And I definitely don’t get the one side only tucked in trend.
I can just about get away with tucking in tops into my maxi skirts though, as they skim my lower tummy.

I have lipoedema and my lower legs were fine before the menopause.

It’s an awful condition and there don’t seem to be any helpful treatments, apart from liposuction, though apparently weight loss injections can help.

And a low carb/keto diet I’ve been reading

Your shape sounds identical to mine! I feel your pain and I too am struggling this year. My advice would be:
I know you hate in person shopping but if you’d be prepared to invest in just one session it could be so worthwhile. You don’t even have to buy. Just try on different styles,fabrics, colours so you can nail it down to a few things to work with.
If Im wearing a plain top, sometimes I will make my jewellery the thing that people look at . So a statement necklace for example so that the top becomes the “canvass”. The reason I mention that is you say you dont have much need for smarter clothes at the moment - neither do I - so I play around with how I can jazz up my day clothes
I like a crossover blouse or top . It draws your eye away from the waist/tum area

No, you’ve been very clear about the realities of your day to day life, @Verbena17! But as you’ve started a thread asking for suggestions on nicer clothes to suit you, that’s what people are going to suggest.

You do still seem drawn to jersey tops! They won’t do anything different to the ones you already own …

Thanks @Sidebeforeself good advice. I do like wrap over tops and v-necks definitely suit me better than round necks.

So I’ve ordered the 3 Boden tops and a pair or wide leg navy and pair of wide leg black trousers and a long linen mix maxi skirt.

Good luck!

Thanks for your suggestions. I appreciate it. How do you mean the jersey? The Boden tops? I do need basic thirst tops for summer though.

I used to live in a world of formal clothing, where wives spent a lot of time dressed up….even just to walk the dog! So I am for sure going to look at better materials but for today, me buying a bright blue T-shirt was something I don’t usually do.

I’ll definitely look at other (non jersey) options but there are certain jersey materials that if heavier, can hang very nicely - I’m thinking Hush, JL, Toast etc.

Agree, plain is clothes and nice statement accessories, shoes bags is a good idea if you are planning on loosing weight, these things will still fit you if you loose weight so won’t be a waste of money