Help me calm down, clothes spend

[NCForSomeThings]

I spent just over £500 on clothes yesterday. I am 49 and going to a big international conference abroad next month. I will need to look smart for 4 days, I will be a key figure at the event and also participating in workshops etc, so not sitting down, need to be comfortable and practical. I have changed body shape recently - perimenopause -and also felt that my old stuffy corporate clothes a) didn't fit and b) didn't at all reflect who I was anymore. I am much more senior now, and can add some personality to my clothes.

Yesterday I bought 4 pieces at a high end store. I love them, they are great quality but I have a nagging voice saying I could have/should have just got things at H&M or just got 2 tops at Jigsaw, max.

Can someone please put it into context and talk me down: I have a good salary and can absorb the cost but also have things coming up I need to pay (house move, etc). I also used to be in a highly controlling relationship, so I need some perspective on what people my age and seniority have spent on their wardrobe in similar situations.

Sounds absolutely fine to me! Unfortunately, as a senior female, I do think it is quite important to create a good visual impression and your outfit will help with that, as well as your confidence. I am sure you will get plenty of wear out of the items.

good luck!

These items that you bought will last for years. Cost per wear will be far lower than anything in H&M.

It's okay - it seems like a lot now, but by the time the conference comes around you won't be thinking about the cost, and you will be thinking about how much more confident you feel in clothes that reflect your professional self. Take the time before the conference to work out which items from your wardrobe work well with them, and put some outfits together so you can have a capsule wardrobe. It'll make the travelling process easier if you know what you're putting together without having to think about it.

I find that H&M is terrible quality nowadays, and if you're at a senior stage in your career carrying out important tasks at a long conference you want to look and feel completely comfortable and confident. You don't want to be worrying about whether something looks cheap or a hem coming down etc.

If you can afford these better quality pieces then absolutely do not feel bad. You've worked hard to achieve that level of income and the seniority. And it's absolutely normal to feel that you need an image refresh at this stage, I think.

I've been buying things bit by bit but would say I have easily spent a few hundred on new work clothes and shoes in the last year because of similar shifts in my body and my career. The old outfits I used to reach for have served me well and I'm sure the new ones will as well.

Sounds completely fine to me. Normal and expected even.

To be honest, if you paid £500 for 4 items unless they were on sale, how high end can they be?! You’re giving yourself a hard time unnecessarily.

Rightly or wrongly, in a senior role and as a presenter you will be judged on your appearance. So buying decent clothes is an investment.

Enjoy the experience and new wardrobe.

If you can afford it then what's the issue?
You work hard, you deserve to spend on yourself. The good quality pieces will last so much longer than the likes of H&M.
I can only dream of being able to treat myself but if I could, I definitely would!

I spent £260 on 2 pairs of shoes this week.
Another £110 on a pair of jeans.
And a massive splurge of £440 on 2 cashmere jumpers.
All high quality which I will get years of wear out of. I look after my clothes and shoes and the value per wear works out very well.

Good grief - strangle that inner voice of yours!

Honestly £500 is nothing on good clothes for high visibility professional life. How much do you think your male colleagues’ handmade suits will have cost? Some will be ten times what you’ve spent. And they won’t question whether they’re worth it.

(If it makes you feel better, I spent £500 on one dress early in my professional career - about thirty years ago …)

Of course it's fine to spend that much on such important clothes! You're a key person at this conference and you need to look the part. You will also feel more confident wearing better quality clothes with a good cut.

Men in your position would have properly tailored suits / jackets etc and they don't come cheap! I'm sure there are many other women at your seniority level who would easily spend what you have (and a lot more).

You've done the right thing - now go and buy the shoes and handbag you'll need!

You've absolutely done the right thing - good quality clothes that make you feel great - what's not to like? Now I'm curious - what have you bought?!!!!!

For good quality clothes that isn't much.

It will last you years
You could have easily spent the same amount on lower quality clothes over the course of a year and not wear it.

I always spend more on clothes but buy less of it.
Eg £400 on a good coat in October 24 that will last me years.
I have worn it almost daily.

Yes I would also like to know, what you bought 😄

@NCForSomeThings I no longer have the spending power (or wardrobe impulses) of my former City life, but even in my much more relaxed second occupation I can’t think of many things I could buy at my favoured shops that cost as little as £125 each. You genuinely are not being in the least extravagant.

Yesterday, to encourage myself through a grant application, I ordered a jumper from one of my most loved stores - it would have been over £500 full price, but luckily my sudden need for stripes coincided with a sale. If I get to the next stage of the application I’ll wear it to the meeting, with a skirt from the same shop that I bought about three years ago. That also would have cost well over £500 if I’d paid full price.

Honestly, having spent my 20s and 30s amongst male colleagues who bought all their work clothes on Savile Row I feel absolutely nothing at all about buying the very best I can afford. (The only difference now is that I have the time to take advantage of all the options for paying a reduced price.)

H and M is all shit quality and aimed at teens and 20 somethings.

Enjoy the clothes, they should wear well.

I will be bookmarking this thread when I need to invest in my work wardrobe and allow myself to spend what I need to spend . Fills me with happiness as we all need permission to invest in ourselves and feel confident and put together . It doesn’t happen without spending a few quid and if you can afford it it’s fine .

I don't think it's a ridiculous amount at all and the clothes will make you feel so much more confident. We all need a style refresh at times to reflect where we are in our lives now. Enjoy your new clothes, I'm sure they will last you.

I dont see the problem if you can afford them.I nearly fainted when buying an expensive dress and hat for my DD wedding! (I'm too used to E Bay I think!) The truth is that for those over 40s ladies like us ,Good clothes will always be a good buy.They are cut well and hang beautifully .I seem to have gone down a couple of sizes in the photos my sister took! Enjoy your clothes and leave H and M for the girlies)

You deserve it. You worked your way up to this point in life, and I bet you'll look (and hopefully feel) great. I find that cheaper roptions (or also places like eBay, vinted) can be a double edged sword... Often things aren't quite right but we overlook it because it was a "bargain". I do still selectively shop second hand, but sometimes you need just the right thing instead of rolling the dice.

So, quality over quantity wins out this time! And you probably won't have to spend anywhere near that much again for a long time. I'd even give yourself permission to have things tailored, to keep the theme running and add some other quality bits. It's a strength o recognise that you've changed in perimenopause, rather than to cling to a past style (which made me feel terrible personally! I much prefer my new choices).

If you can afford it and you've bought good quality things things that you really love, then I don't see any problem with this whatsover.

I bought a high end suit for £400 20 years ago. OMG did I feel good in that suit. I loved it. It was my first high end purchase to celebrate a new job. I wore it about twice a week for about 15 years. It's the only time I have ever done that and now my career is seriously downgraded after 3 kids and a couple of bad decisions. Totally worth it!

If you can afford it and they'll last then it's no big deal

Enjoy wearing them

Guilt free

Buying good quality that will last is far more cost effective than buying cheap. I have some max mara wool trousers that cost £££ but I've now had them 10 years and they still look great. Plus I feel good when I wear them.

This ! A couple of dresses and a Cardigan from somewhere like Toast would easily come to £500 these days. Good quality clothes in decent fabric are expensive. Look at the prices in The Fold for instance, for comparison quality workwear.

Anything I've bought where I spent a bit and bought an outfit that worked has really earned its keep over the years. Good investment !

Just after lockdown I spent £220 on a merino jumper and wool trousers from Jigsaw, I felt a bit faint. Still wearing them most weeks 4 years later though.