Help me calm down, clothes spend

[NCForSomeThings]

I spent just over £500 on clothes yesterday. I am 49 and going to a big international conference abroad next month. I will need to look smart for 4 days, I will be a key figure at the event and also participating in workshops etc, so not sitting down, need to be comfortable and practical. I have changed body shape recently - perimenopause -and also felt that my old stuffy corporate clothes a) didn't fit and b) didn't at all reflect who I was anymore. I am much more senior now, and can add some personality to my clothes.

Yesterday I bought 4 pieces at a high end store. I love them, they are great quality but I have a nagging voice saying I could have/should have just got things at H&M or just got 2 tops at Jigsaw, max.

Can someone please put it into context and talk me down: I have a good salary and can absorb the cost but also have things coming up I need to pay (house move, etc). I also used to be in a highly controlling relationship, so I need some perspective on what people my age and seniority have spent on their wardrobe in similar situations.

You deserve it! 😊

I guess people's budgets differ but that doesn't sound a lot to me. I bought a Ganni jumper for #99 on the sales was 450 some stellccartney shoes for £30 from Vinted was £250 new. My coat was £250 from Vinted, was £1400 new they will last a lot better than a £100 coat etc from H&m

Enjoy and don't feel guilty!

Can't put a price on looking and feeling your best. Be grateful you love the outfits. When I was 4 months pregnant and not openly trllling people, I changed shape and was going abroad to conference, spent £1000+ at Next and hardly anything looked good. Sent most of it back. I wouldn't have batted an eyelid on spending £400 on clothes I'd keep and wear again.

Agree that you should just enjoy your purchases - you can afford them and will feel confident wearing them so it’s a wise investment in yourself imo
If you want to feel a bit less extravagant take a look at Helena Morrissey’s instagram page where she showcases her various outfits for work trips/conferences etc. The amount she spends is mind blowing - literally thousands of pounds on one dress etc. Granted she was a CEO at a top investment fund but even in my own high flying city days I would never have dreamt of spending anything even remotely like it. Her clothes are gorgeous though :)

4 pieces for 500 at a high-end store is a bargain. Enjoy wearing them!

I’m amazed you got 4 outfits for the money if top quality.

dont even question it, goes with your role

OP you totally deserve to have nice clothes that are appropriate to your career. All the more so when you're speaking/ keynote at a conference.

I have always had a keen interest in clothes & since my teens I've always preferred fewer, better quality stuff.

In my early 20s in the 90s I discovered jigsaw & have never looked back! 99% pg my wardrobe came from there & whistles in the 90s & 2000's both casual & work. I actually still have some of those clothes!

I think you got bargains to get 4 nice things for £500!

I've spent FAR more than that on clothes since Christmas & have no regrets & i adore my new outfits.

These days I dress from Maje, Sezane, ba&sh & me+em, sandro mainly with the odd thing from toast & plumo & m&s

I just don't bother with h&m or primark or zara anymore as the quality is usually pretty poor for the money

Stop thinking about it & enjoy your new clothes! Don't let misplaced guilt ruin it for you.

I'm always sad when I read posts by women who can't seem to value themselves as much as they ought to.

OP I mostly buy off vinted/ebay or make clothes, so I often don't spend much - but even I think this sounds like a good value spend. If there's something I love, can afford and will use I think it's OK to spend a lot. I bought a Hobbs coat years ago, it was £180 in a sale but that was still a LOT for me, but I just knew I loved it and it would be the perfect work event/conference/formal occasion coat, and it is. It's lasted brilliantly and always comes out for formal things because it make me feel and look pulled together and smart. That kind of thing is always money worth spending. More so as you get older/more senior at work IMO.

This is definitely fine.

• You can afford it
• There was a purpose
• Garments likely to fit better
• Garments likely to last longer
• It just seems wild because you did it all at the same time.
• I'd say count yourself lucky that you actually found something to suit, there's a lot of dross out there!

@HereComesEverybody we’re the same generation! I was also in my early 20s in the 1990s and discovered the joys of Jigsaw for suits for work and chunky roll neck jumpers for play. How I miss the Leadenhall market branch of Jigsaw (which was just near my office). For the first time in many years, I actually came across a branch of Jigsaw (in Battersea Power Station’s shiny newish shopping centra) late last year and had a prowl round looking for my beloved roll necks and suits.

Actually my ‘expensive’ clothes habit started before then and was actually back in the 80s when I turned 16 and had a part time job waitressing and all my wages went on clothes from the newly released Next Directory. 😍 Just like @HereComesEverybody I have always preferred to pay more for good quality and look after it, and things last and look good. I’ve actually never even set foot in a Primark and I can count one hand the number of times I’ve been in H&M in my entire life. 😜

These days I wear a lot of Issey Miyake Pleats Please (so practical as well as stylish) and a mix of pieces from smaller designers and/or older pieces I’ve slowly acquired over the years usually in sample sales or when discounted. I’m a big fan of Christopher Raeburn for very casual wear (and now actually know him and get invited to his shows as I’ve stalked his studio’s sample sales so often). I live in Shoreditch/Whitechapel so am fortunate enough to have a lot of sample sales and fashion influences within walking distance (which is how I discovered Raeburn). I have some lovely pieces from Burberry’s old factory shop in Hackney (from before it just churned out mass market diffusion items for busloads of Asian tourists) including 2 lovely jackets I wear for work, a cashmere sweater dress and an amazing knee length cape made from 100% cashmere. Basically I always keep an eye out for an interesting well made, well cut piece and happily cough up for the money for things I know will last and I will wear for years on and off. I guess it’s a sign of me getting old when the grads at work comment on my clothing and ask where it came from and I realise I’ve had it for 2 decades.😂And don’t even get me started on shoes (for which I have only 2 words: Tracey Neuls). 😛

Oh my goodness! Thank you all for your lovely messages! I am very moved by everyone's support and great stories!

Ok, so it was a bit over £500 tbh (doing the old "lop a bit off the price" that I used to do with my horrible ex!)

One piece was a lovely unstructured jacket, around £250, another was a statement necklace, and then two tops, including a long gilet I (I am really tall) that I will wear over trousers with the necklace etc - slightly contemporary boho vibes.

Everything mixes and matches and I actually have a capsule wardrobe, plus I will feel really "me" for once. The conference is science-sustainability based so I can afford to be a bit more personal/unusual - it's not a stuffy finance summit.

Thanks again, I am off to enjoy them! I love hearing all the spending stories and what was bought!

Thanks @TheOGCCL yes it did feel wild and I had to walk round the block. Crazy.

The words Leadenhall Market fill me with nostalgia - though it was the late 80’s and I was in my mid/late 20s … I remember lunches and work drinks in the bars, but not Jigsaw …

And I’m a very vague fan of Christopher Raeburn. Haven’t bought anything for myself for a long time but the next generation of my family have received the occasional gift of a t shirt (or the odd animal …). Lovely things!

Thats perfectly reasonable. Enjoy the clothes.

It's an investment in yourself.

Your outfit plans sound stellar, @NCForSomeThings!

So good to hear someone finding new joy in clothes.

I am in a senior role and have recently lost three stone.

I need to look professional - and I need to feel confident.

i am rebuilding a work wardrobe and it is expensive. But I buy quality items and cost per wear is actually low.

this month I bought a wool coat from Hobbs. Expensive but a good, classic style wool coat will last years.

you are investing in yourself. Well done

So lovely !

How very classy and well put together.

Enjoy it! X

I think that’s a very modest spend for a capsule wardrobe - well done you!

As another senior woman in business, I say go for it.

You need to look the part - £500 is nothing compared to what your male counterparts will be spending on Savile Row suits and Church's brogues.

It's conference season for us atm and, genuinely, having the right attire - and quality does show - really adds to your gravitas when you are on stage or networking. It isn't sufficient IMO, but it is necessary.

You sound like a stylish woman. I think wearing lovely clothes will be useful during your conference. I get good quality clothes from vinted ebay and charity shops and I love plenty of colour. I love capsule wardrobes . I hope your conference goes well. I am certain it will. I reckon it will be useful knowing that you look fantastic at the event will help Have a wonderful time.

Yes, full disclosure, it was around £550 and I had a 10% discount, which made everything in the "wild" realms of £600. However, a well made suit etc would have been nudging towards that, plus being smart and comfortable for 4 days is quite an ask!
I think we're all similar age - I used to work in Jigsaw on Brompton road in the late 90s during my Uni days! The t-shirts were folded and measured with a ruler and I remember having a girl crush on my super glam boss.

@HundredMilesAnHour These sound fab! Love Pleats Please - this is the vibe I am heading towards... :-)

Hopefully this will be the case but paying more these days doesn't automatically mean better quality.

Anything I've bought where I spent a bit and bought an outfit that worked has really earned its keep over the years. Good investment !

This, one hundred percent. I have a work wardrobe with investment pieces and they are the workhorses of my wardrobe. The initial outlay is more than earned back.

I'm in my 40s and been buying clothes all my life (😂) and honestly at a stage where I'd rather have one item that will last indefinitely until it falls apart due to too much wear, than three items that will look like shit in 12-18 months and need replacing. Relative to what you can afford of course.

I just started a new job, it's fairly casual but I needed some items for key meetings. Ive bought three cashmere jumpers and do not regret it one bit.