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Original poster

Help me calm down, clothes spend

81 replies

NCForSomeThings · 12/03/2025 13:00

I spent just over £500 on clothes yesterday. I am 49 and going to a big international conference abroad next month. I will need to look smart for 4 days, I will be a key figure at the event and also participating in workshops etc, so not sitting down, need to be comfortable and practical. I have changed body shape recently - perimenopause -and also felt that my old stuffy corporate clothes a) didn't fit and b) didn't at all reflect who I was anymore. I am much more senior now, and can add some personality to my clothes.

Yesterday I bought 4 pieces at a high end store. I love them, they are great quality but I have a nagging voice saying I could have/should have just got things at H&M or just got 2 tops at Jigsaw, max.

Can someone please put it into context and talk me down: I have a good salary and can absorb the cost but also have things coming up I need to pay (house move, etc). I also used to be in a highly controlling relationship, so I need some perspective on what people my age and seniority have spent on their wardrobe in similar situations.

OP posts:
DGPP · 12/03/2025 21:29

I spend that pretty often. also on good clothes. They make me feel great and they last. Haven’t set foot in H&M in years

Gundogday · 12/03/2025 21:33

It’s an investment, and you will get plenty of wear out of them.

PrettayGood · 12/03/2025 22:07

Sounds good to me. I can easily drop £300 -£400 on a pop in to John Lewis buying one or two items.

I buy decent mid-range clothes and get lots of wear out of them.

mrssmiling · 12/03/2025 23:14

Only to say I have enjoyed reading comments on this thread, and completely agree with so many!
OP, please enjoy your lovely clothes, and looking great in them! X

mrssmiling · 12/03/2025 23:19

And if it makes you feel any better….if you divide £500 by 52, that’s less than £10 a week over the next year for some great outfits! The cost of a few coffees! 😀

theresbeautyinwindysun · 13/03/2025 07:04

Your clothes sound really great and I can tell by how you you've described them that you will feel confident and assertive in them. Love this thread! It's the best feeling when you buy just the right clothes and know they'll make a difference. Enjoy them and the conference.

TheGlamour · 13/03/2025 07:34

@NCForSomeThings, what you really need to get things is perspective is these two articles:

The A to Z of London tailors

The best shirtmakers in the world

And also to remember that probably not one of your male counterparts will be wearing a watch that cost as little as £500 …

Fridgetapas · 13/03/2025 07:41

Spending £400 on only 4 items sounds so much to me! But if they are good quality and you can afford it of course it’s fine! I wish I could afford such nice clothes!

THisbackwithavengeance · 13/03/2025 07:48

Good for you OP.

Seriously. Enjoy your lovely clothes; you've worked head to be able to afford them and they will look great.

I absolutely see no problem with this.

Floisme · 13/03/2025 08:22

I don't go to conferences and still have a soft spot for H&M. I will also, if and when I can afford it, spend a three figure sum on an item of clothing I have no need for. And I'll walk a couple of miles and spend at least a fiver to get a decent espresso and almond croissant.

Provided you can put a roof over your head, food on the table and meet any financial obligations, I think you have every right to spend your own money on clothes that will give you pleasure.

Diningtableornot · 13/03/2025 08:31

It’s sensible to buy good quality that will last. You just have to remember to do it less often than when you bought in cheaper places.

Biggerbucket · 13/03/2025 21:54

You are worth it, OP. Let’s see those fabulous pieces! Good luck at the conference, you will smash it!

Lyannaa · 13/03/2025 21:57

Life is short. Enjoy the clothes.

ChargeableHour · 13/03/2025 21:57

TheGlamour · 12/03/2025 13:13

Good grief - strangle that inner voice of yours!

Honestly £500 is nothing on good clothes for high visibility professional life. How much do you think your male colleagues’ handmade suits will have cost? Some will be ten times what you’ve spent. And they won’t question whether they’re worth it.

(If it makes you feel better, I spent £500 on one dress early in my professional career - about thirty years ago …)

This! God yes, exactly this.

I spend a lot on clothes. I can’t tell if I like doing it for the fun of it or if it is just the feeling of relief that I usually have something appropriate and flattering to wear. But I am glad I am able to do it because it is essential to my career.

CalmConfident · 13/03/2025 22:23

This thread has made me want to do some work clothes shopping 😊

BuddhaAtSea · 13/03/2025 22:38

Cost per wear will amount to pennies. You wear something more often if you absolutely love it.
I’m not one for gratuitous frugality (or excess), but I’m in my 50s and menopausal, the only thing that fits and looks ok on my in H&M are the bloody socks these days. The T-shirts are the size of my knickers ffs.
Enjoy your new outfits, you cannot put a price on war paint.

minnienono · 13/03/2025 22:43

Only you know if (a) you can afford these and (b) whether they are worth the money (eg are they well made, fairly timeless pieces you can wear for years) because price tag alone isn’t an indicator

i personally wouldn’t spend that on 4 items unless it’s 4 dresses that are complete outfits because the difference in quality between £50 clothes and £300 clothes is negligible, the cut is better on more expensive pieces but they don’t last longer alas, much of the cost is down to branding not durability

Bellyblueboy · 14/03/2025 08:12

minnienono · 13/03/2025 22:43

Only you know if (a) you can afford these and (b) whether they are worth the money (eg are they well made, fairly timeless pieces you can wear for years) because price tag alone isn’t an indicator

i personally wouldn’t spend that on 4 items unless it’s 4 dresses that are complete outfits because the difference in quality between £50 clothes and £300 clothes is negligible, the cut is better on more expensive pieces but they don’t last longer alas, much of the cost is down to branding not durability

That’s interesting - I haven’t found that at all. My most expensive coats have lasted years while cheaper coats have become bally and old looking.

I have a number of more expensive dresses that have lasted much longer and are better quality.

I particularly find that work trousers from Boden (about twice the cost of marks and Spencer’s) las about two years longer) and jackets from cheaper shops tend to lose their shape.

i don’t shop in particularly stylish shops for work - but my longest lasting coat is actually ted baker. It was about £500 but I have had it for ten years now.

of course there are expensive fast fashion items to avoid. But if you look at the quality, material, lining and cut of clothing before buying cost per wear on higher quality but often more expensive clothing usually works out at better value.

but you have to avoid high and fast fashion.

BobShark · 14/03/2025 09:10

Omg I so needed to see this thread!
im about to start acting up a level in my career and need to update my work wardrobe. As a single parent I never prioritise my clothes but am aware I can’t pull off jeans pumps and shirts at this level.

see it as an investment in your personal brand, also peri menopausal here and am giving up on exercising my way back to my old old old clothes and accepting my shape has changed forever 😬

you are attending an important event for your career, the confidence and style will be a part of how you ‘perform’ in your role here.

don’t feel guilty at all, you earned this, consider it an investment

DGPP · 14/03/2025 09:41

minnienono · 13/03/2025 22:43

Only you know if (a) you can afford these and (b) whether they are worth the money (eg are they well made, fairly timeless pieces you can wear for years) because price tag alone isn’t an indicator

i personally wouldn’t spend that on 4 items unless it’s 4 dresses that are complete outfits because the difference in quality between £50 clothes and £300 clothes is negligible, the cut is better on more expensive pieces but they don’t last longer alas, much of the cost is down to branding not durability

I don’t agree with this at all. My expensive clothes from select brands last significantly longer (years) than my cheaper items

Comefromaway · 14/03/2025 10:01

There didn;t used to be that much difference in quality. I have clothes from Asda, Sainsbury's, Debenhams and M & S that have lasted for 15 years plus. But nowadays apart from a few basic items I have found I need to go higher end to get that same quality. Items I have bought in the last 5 years from similar shops wear out after only a couple of years. I can't get on with the fit of H & M but my daughter has 10 year old clothes from New Look that are still fine, but 3 year old clothes from New Look & H & M that are only fit for rags.

It feels like a lot of money because you are having to buy it all at once. That happened to me this last couple of years and I decided that because I could now afford it I would invest in less items but higher quality.

Comefromaway · 14/03/2025 10:03

i don’t shop in particularly stylish shops for work - but my longest lasting coat is actually ted baker. It was about £500 but I have had it for ten years now.

Unfortunately they have declined too. I bought a trenchoat from Ted Baker a few months before they went bump and I am so disapointed in the quality. The buttons are not sewn properly, the stitching is poor. It was almost £300 and I was so disapointed.

On the other hand my Max Mara coat will hopefully last me a lifetime. It is SO well made (thankfully I got is discounted).

Bellyblueboy · 14/03/2025 10:23

That is such a shame - I must have bought at a good time.

i just bought a new wool coat from Hobbs. It was a bit cheaper. £400. It’s beautiful - very heavy and very well cut. I know it’s not trendy but it will hopefully do me for the next ten years.

I do occasionally buy from H&M - but I find the clothes really start to bobble and fray after a few washes.

TheGlamour · 14/03/2025 10:28

@minnienonoare you planning to make a career of haunting every would-be joyful S&B thread and pissing on the OP’s chips? Grin

(Nothing wrong with constructive criticism, obviously.)

fluffiphlox · 14/03/2025 10:31

I’m not sure that £500 on four items is all that much in this day and age, particularly for a senior person. Enjoy wearing what you have bought.

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