My skin is disgusting

[Joker01]

I’m late 30s but look ten years older.

I have four deep lines on my forehead and huge bags with prominent wrinkles. My skin look sallow and dull and I get big spots.

I’ve tried everything. I eat well and drink lots of water. Current skincare routine:

AM
(I’ve tried washing and not washing in the AM as derms seem to agree on this)
Ordinary squalene cleanser
Curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
BOJ fact 50

PM
Ordinary squalene cleanser
either retinal (was using tret but can’t get it any more) or glycolic acid
curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
Peptides

Nothing changes, I still look haggard. Is Botox my only option? I don’t want filler under my eyes as I’ve heard it can be really bad. Has anyone found anything that works? I suspect it’s hormones as mine are a mess and I’ve been out on HRT but it’s a looooooong wait for a coil and they won’t let me have the HRT until the coil is fitted.

What can I do? I’m so embarrassed about my face that I’ve started avoiding looking at people.

Just to add that I don’t drink alcohol, smoke or have caffeine. I sleep badly though.

Are you under stress? My sister aged terribly when her husband was terminally ill. After he died a lot of the aging disappeared.

Also how close to the mirror are you when you're checking? Most people stand too close, you need to be a couple of steps back.
I the morning just wash your face. No cleanser etc just sunscreen, or moisturiser if not going out for over 10 minutes.

The evening just cleanse your face to remove the sunscreen. Then a moisturiser. Leave all your actives off until your skin settles. Then gradually reintroduce. It doe sound if your skin barrier is compromised. Learn to live with your wrinkles they're a gift from your face for the life you've led.

How well do you sleep? The best skincare regime in the world won't counteract exhaustion.

Ignore that first but, you said badly, sorry!

But I can’t seem to fix it. I don’t sleep even on medication or doing all the things they recommend, come 1am I’m wide awake. That’s hitting to hear nothing I do will make a difference. At this rate my face will be horrendous in ten years

How much fresh air and sunlight are you getting?

I walk every day, for at least an hour and often by the coast. And then I’m outside with DC lots too. And I’ve stopped wearing make up.

Have you tried epiduo? It’s honestly done wonders for my spots. You can get it prescribed. It takes a few months but I rarely get spots now- maybe one around about my period.

A good glycolic acid toner will help a bit. It brightens and smooths out the skin. This is my favourite

https://www.boots.com/loreal-paris-5-percent-glycolic-acid-peeling-toner-180ml-10305493

I already use glycolic every third day (ish). I’ve been using it for months and it hasn’t helped unfortunately.

Have you tried fasting? I find it makes my skin glowy and less puffy

Maybe up the frequency? I use it twice a day.

I haven’t increased it because of the retinal and worrying about my skin barrier - I don’t want to make it worse!

Have you tried a holiday? Just 2 weeks laying on the beach/by the pool, some swimming, lots of chill time, no kids.

You sound stressed.

I wish! I have no one to look after DC and I lost my job and am struggling to find a new one. Okay financially for now but it won’t last forever.

stress could be a factor. I think that, lack of sleep and hormones. But looking like rubbish every day just makes me feel worse.

My skin de-aged 10 years when I stopped putting all the serums etc on my face. They just dry your skin out, harm the natural barrier and make you look wrinkly. Try just using a moisturiser morning and evening, and a sensitive spf. Don't wash your face, I use milky micellar water as its less drying. Try it for a good month and I'll bet your skin improves massively. All these lotions and potions are marketed at us as they make lots of money out of our insecurities.

Be kind to yourself, life just gets in the way sometimes and we're real people.

That’s not a bad idea, maybe it’s all just too much. I’ll give this a go. I’ve had the forehead wrinkles for years though, I guess they’re not going anywhere unless I Botox and I’m scared of Botox.

What's your sleep hygiene routine?

You could be bold and stop all the fancy stuff. I wash with lukewarm water only in the morning and cleanse with cheap aqueous cream in the shower at night. Aveeno moisturiser after. Sunscreen every day. My skin is soft and supple and I'm 54.

It sounds like you're using a bit much, when I scaled right back my skin improved so much. I simply use micellar water, gentle face wash, gentle toner and some evening primrose oil. Nothing overly drying and If you use acids I'd say 1x a week max! Too much just causes breakouts. Be gentle with your skin and don't overly fuss it. I hope this improves for you as I know how damaging it can be for your confidence. Also try to get good sleep, keep hydrated and eat well x

typically,
eat around 6ish. Sometimes I have a banana in the evening for the magnesium.

no screens an hour or two before bed (disregarding this tonight as I’m on here asking advice)

dark room, cool

read a book for a while in low, yellow light

lights off, sleep (sometimes not sleep straight away when I’m with my husband, but that is meant to aid sleep)

I often go off well but then wake around 12/1 and will stay awake till 5/6. I get my best sleep first thing in the morning which is a disaster with kids.

I’ve tried meditation, Headspace app and such. I have a meditation one I love, but I’ve heard it all the way through so many times I could recite to you the sleep stores word by word.

I have wondered if it’s low sugar related, I may try a small bowl of porridge for supper. But I’ve take. All sorts of sleep meds from basic 25mg over the country stuff to amytriptilene (wrong spelling) and I still wake, I never sleep the whole night through. I’ve been back and forth to the doctors and they just switch drugs. I’ve stopped the drugs though because they can cause dementia. Mind you, so can a lack of sleep.

I gave up using retinol as it was drying out my skin with no discernable benefits. I've found a moisturiser with vitamin c and using a serum to protect my skin barrier have worked wonders.

What are you eating and drinking? I've reduced the amount I was drinking over the last three weeks and my sleep has really improved. I've been taking vitamin B12 too as I read that could help.

I bet it's early peri and your sleep and skin will improve loads when your HRT is sorted.

I don’t drink alcohol or coffee. I only drink water really and aim for two litres a day. I eat okay, yoghurt with kefir and berries and nuts and seeds for breakfast, salads, eggs, chicken but no red meat or fish as I don’t like it, healthy balanced dinners. I feel like my diet is good, I get all the food groups and eat a rainbow of veggies.

I haven’t tried b12 specifically but I’ve had bloods done and nothing was out of range. I take a multivitamin and have toyed with the idea of magnesium as an extra but don’t want to take too much?