My skin is disgusting

[Joker01]

I’m late 30s but look ten years older.

I have four deep lines on my forehead and huge bags with prominent wrinkles. My skin look sallow and dull and I get big spots.

I’ve tried everything. I eat well and drink lots of water. Current skincare routine:

AM
(I’ve tried washing and not washing in the AM as derms seem to agree on this)
Ordinary squalene cleanser
Curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
BOJ fact 50

PM
Ordinary squalene cleanser
either retinal (was using tret but can’t get it any more) or glycolic acid
curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
Peptides

Nothing changes, I still look haggard. Is Botox my only option? I don’t want filler under my eyes as I’ve heard it can be really bad. Has anyone found anything that works? I suspect it’s hormones as mine are a mess and I’ve been out on HRT but it’s a looooooong wait for a coil and they won’t let me have the HRT until the coil is fitted.

What can I do? I’m so embarrassed about my face that I’ve started avoiding looking at people.

I do wonder about this. The waitlist is so long, it’s been months and still no appointment on the horizon.

Sleep is going to play a massive part, ask the dr for short term help if you've tried everything else. I was prescribed Zopiclone (7 tablets) and used half of one the first night and the 3rd night and then for some reason it was like it reset me. I still have 5 left in my drawer and I got them over 9 months ago now. They are very addictive though so stay away if this bothers you.

I'm 31, I always had nice skin until pregnancy at 29 then it went downhill. Last year I bought so much expensive skincare and was using multiple products AM & PM and my skin was getting worse and worse. I ended up stripping everything back. I use cleansing balm in the morning, face sunscreen and kiehls moisturiser and then the same minus sunscreen after my evening shower/bath. My skin has improved so much. I think sometimes we can over do it and strip goodness away.

Lastly, I started Botox at 28 as I've always had deep forehead lines. I only get it twice a year and I ask NOT to be "frozen" so it's a small amount, I can still smile, frown etc just without the deep forehead lines.

My friend has amazing skin after starting microneedling with skin boosters. She started a course before her wedding and she looks amazing after 3 months of doing it.

Just want to say that both of us go to registered nurses and pay a hefty price, if it's cheap it's a massive red flag so if you go down the aesthetics route, do lots of research.

Try the magnesium. When you wake, what is keeping you awake/stopping you from falling asleep again?

I sympathise on the sleep front as I go through phases of struggling with sleep. I have done my whole life really. I developed restless legs when I was anaemic after PPH and have been battling it since. I now use Sweets Bee Organics magnesium balm on my legs. They swear it really does improve sleep.

On the skin front I have started using Dermalogica Special Gel Cleanser and the Daily Microfoliant, followed by one of their moisturisers. My skin is so sensitive but it's not irritated at all.

I think you should focus on what you put into your body rather than what you use on your face. How much water are you drinking? What are your eating habits? Eating clean with lots of fresh fruit and veg rather than ultra processed food. Limited red meat.

I can recommend Melatonin OR Kirkland's Sleep Aid for sleep. I got 10mg Melatonin and sometimes take half a tablet. Kirkland's are really powerful, I had severe insomnia and they knocked me out.

Answers this up thread, lots of water, good diet, no alcohol or caffeine, no red meat or fish. Lots of eggs and veggies and such.

My brain just goes on and on and on. It just doesn’t stop. I’ve tried music, reading, white m/brown/pink noise, sleep stories. I just can’t stop my brain. It’s not worries, it just thinks about all sorts of random stuff. I’ve tried trying to calm it, focus on breathing or that countdown thing the army do, but suddenly I find I’m wondering about how many people have died climbing Everest. I don’t know why, I can’t control it at night.

Where do you get melatonin from though? I’ll look up Kirkland a, are you groggy the next day?

I’ve got to turn the screen off and wind down it thanks for everyone’s suggestions

Sorry i just read your original post not the whole thread. Maybe its genetics?

Magnesium is good for sleep, have you tried that?

Vitamin C serum in the morning will brighten up the skin and is one of the best things to use long term as well as the retinoid in the evening. Some of them can be a bit strong but there are nice gentle ones eg The Ordinary ascorbyl glucoside.

Is a coil mandatory before going on HRT?

I think your skincare routine is over complicated. You don't need to cleanse in the morning. Gel moisturiser isn't great. Personally, I'd strip it back and use something like Skin & Me as tret will do wonders. SPF too. Then you'll just need a good cream cleanser.

The most important thing though is being able to sleep. If you're not yet on HRT, this will be hard. I recall those sleepless nights, I had 18 months of them with all of 45 minutes of sleep across the whole night. (Not even in one go). Am unsure why they won't prescribe you progesterone alongside oestrogen. You don't need to wait for a Mirena which isn't always enough for some women anyway. But, if they're insisting you wait for one, buy yourself some melatonin online as that will help you sleep, as will Sleepeze from Boots. Really sorry you're struggling with this stuff, it's super shit if HRT hasn't been prescribed correctly. It's also worth trying pink noise at night and trying to shut down your thoughts. The latter takes practice but you will get there. Also, no screen time for a few hours before bed, and if you can, no phone or other electrics in the bedroom.

A silk pillowcase will be good for your skin too. Plus it will keep you cool at night. They're not horrifically expensive, Amazon sell them for £20

An overactive brain and inner voice when you're trying to go to sleep is a real perimenopause thing. Sometimes, I would get into bed and actually feel more awake and energetic even though I was exhausted.

Just noticed you're often awake from 1-5. Yes, this is really typical, unfortunately. It's absolutely a hormone thing.

I've recently started melatonin, the GP prescribed it, it's called Circadin. It's working at least for some nights. No drowsiness the next day. Your sleep issues sound like mine - though my insomnia is far worse in winter, I think it may be related to the lack of daylight.

My brain just goes on and on and on. It just doesn’t stop.

When you get anxious about not sleeping the last thing you are going to do is sleep. So when you go to bed try this. Imagine a place where you are relaxed, safe, comfortable and happy. It might be somewhere that you know from your memory or that you've created in your imagination, it doesn't matter - what matters is that it's somewhere that is completely safe and completely away from all your problems. As you picture it in your head start putting detail in, what you can see, smell, hear, touch and feel on your skin. Make it your own movie, adding details and depth every time you go there. Once you get into the habit of going to this place every time you go to bed you'll find it far easier to drift off to sleep with nothing else to occupy your mind.

I’d stop the retinol - it always makes my skin look horrendous.
take omega 3 supplement and use organic oils.
maybe a good facial once a month might help.

I see you’ve tried apps and sleep stories, but I listen to the sleep stories on the Calm app every night and never get to the end of one. I get on much better with Calm than I did with Headspace. I’ve found you do need to focus on the stories to drive out your thoughts otherwise they don’t work. It doesn’t feel get easier with practice though

I also use Bach Rescue Night Remedy. This has the same calming effect as normal Bach but makes you sleepy too.

OP, I really feel for you. I know you say it’s not worries, but having an overactive brain can still be a consequence of anxiety.

A lot of people are commenting on skin care routines but I think if you can find a way to:

• get the copper coil sooner and come of oral contraception
• have more stability in job and fewer worries
• get some medical support

you’ll feel much better. You can go to a family planning or Gum clinic for coil, you can write to GP if you need perimenopause advice and support- and say it’s effecting your quality of life, which it is if you can’t look at people, and it’s possible they’ll see you sooner (I know this really depends on where you live).

i had a terrible 18 months of intense acne, and it was horrendous. I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I know you will feel far worse about it than others around you. Try and be gentle with yourself, it will get better. And if you can afford it, go somewhere reputable and get a tiny bit of Botox- I think if it helps you feel better, just explore it as a possible option. X

As For topical treatments for the skin, I second keeping it simple. My skin responds to a thorough cleanse (Dermalogica Special Cleansing Gel and Daily Microfoliant). I’d recommend going to a Dermalogica shop though so they can do a thorough skin analysis using their camera thingy.

Then I use Dr Dennis Gross Vitamin C serum and Vitamin C Dewy Deep Cream in the morning - it really give a noticeable glow.

In the evenings I use a cheap retinol serum (The Ordinary or Inky List) and E45. My skin is sensitive and highly reactive so I wouldn’t want another active layer over the retinol.

Calm skin is healthy skin for me.

In terms of lack of sleep, if you are on oral contraceptives you could see if you can change brands? I re-started Cerazette after having kids and it made my mind race at night in similar patterns to what you’ve described. Too much of the wrong kind of progesterone which had been fine before. On Rigevidon now which is a different kind of progesterone balanced with oestrogen - kind of offsetting early Peri effects for me and I sleep much better.

For your skin, your diet sounds great!

Maybe look at marine or bovine collagen powder supplement daily, and if skin is dry take olive oil or fish oil capsules, and try to use more olive oil on salads?

Consider taking vitamin B12 and Magnesium Glycinate (has to be this type specifically for sleep aid) supplements.

I've found my toner and serums have been irritating my skin, causing redness and cystic acne. I use soap and a facial exfoliating sponge in the morning with a day cream and in the evening I double cleanse with a cleansing balm and a gel cleanser and hot cloth then follow up with some face oil. Currently mixing my own with Castor oil, jojoba oil and Frankincense resin oil, so far, I'm quite impressed. Very moisturised especially during winter and the acne has calmed down.

Have you tried getting specialist facials eg dermaneedling, radio frequency, red lights, peels etc? If you go to a specialist (not at a spa) they look at your skin and can recommend products based specifically on what it needs as well as offer the kind of hardcore facials that aren't exactly relaxing, but do make your skin look amaaazing. Unfortunately they are ridiculously expensive and you have to keep going to keep up progress, but if you can afford them I think they're worth it!