My skin is disgusting

[Joker01]

I’m late 30s but look ten years older.

I have four deep lines on my forehead and huge bags with prominent wrinkles. My skin look sallow and dull and I get big spots.

I’ve tried everything. I eat well and drink lots of water. Current skincare routine:

AM
(I’ve tried washing and not washing in the AM as derms seem to agree on this)
Ordinary squalene cleanser
Curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
BOJ fact 50

PM
Ordinary squalene cleanser
either retinal (was using tret but can’t get it any more) or glycolic acid
curel moisture spray
Aveeno gel moisturiser
Peptides

Nothing changes, I still look haggard. Is Botox my only option? I don’t want filler under my eyes as I’ve heard it can be really bad. Has anyone found anything that works? I suspect it’s hormones as mine are a mess and I’ve been out on HRT but it’s a looooooong wait for a coil and they won’t let me have the HRT until the coil is fitted.

What can I do? I’m so embarrassed about my face that I’ve started avoiding looking at people.

A little. You need to take both of them (not together though!) early rather than later to give them a chance to be completely processed.
I got the magnesium from Piping Rock and the others from an American company. Delivery was about a week.

Are you sure you need HRT, your late 30’s? Dianette contraceptive pill would likely clear your skin if you aren’t menopausal.
There are antibiotics, roaccutane … you need to speak to your gp about how your skin is affecting you.

You can get HRT in boots/superdrug. Just in case you didn’t know, (I didn’t). GP not helpful so I started googling. You would need to be careful which one you have due to your skin, depends how helpful your doctor is.
Or could you pay privately to get the coil fitted to speed up the process.

For help with sleeping, I found Sleepio really useful (it's a CBT program about helping with strategies and thinking about sleep, and getting back to sleep when you wake up in the middle of the night).

It was free on the NHS when I was receiving amended it by GP. Not sure if it still is but may be worth you paying for a month or two if you want to try it.

My sleep isn't perfect now but can usually get 6 hrs a night.

I would pare the skincare right back. Splash of water in the morning, a plain moisturiser and SPF. Gentle cleanser in the evening, plain moisturiser and vaseline patted on top. Magnesium glycinate for sleep. And I'd get the Botox. Nothing beats it.

I've had years of the night waking, on an off. What helps me most is magnesium just before bed, and eat a small amount of protein too, like a boiled egg. Mine is related to blood sugar and menopause.

If I wake, I eat a few almonds, get up and have a wee. That makes me a bit colder which helps. I can generally get back to sleep though sometimes it does take a couple of hours.

You mention Botox but that's not the only thing available. Book a consultation with an aesthetician and look at things like skin boosters.

I would see the GP and a dermatologist before I saw someone who earns money from aesthetic procedures. Sometimes we focus on things that objectively are not as bad as we think because we are under stress. I think the OP would benefit from therapy for stress.

Cold teabags or cucumber for the eyes, suncream. Suncream is the best moisturiser you will get. I've been using it for nearly 2 years now, everyday I am out and about and use it in the house during spring and summer as well. Sleep deprived will definitely be adding to your skin, so I would see your GP if you tried everything else on shelves as insomnia is the worse

Do you have undiagnosed ADHD?

I'm beginning to think this. I use blue Nivea mainly and my skin has wrinkles but no spots or redness etc. I also use sun screen every day as I developed an age spot. My teenager's skin is so much worse since they started some crazy routine with loads of bottles

Hi OP, I've read most of the replies but not all. So Apols if I am duplicating.

I see you are out of work at the moment, but if you do have the savings, you can have a coil fitted by a private GP. I got a script for the actual device from my normal GP, found a chemist to dispense it, then booked an appt with private GP who fitted it for £200. See if your GP will dispense and find a private GP and ring and get costs if you can.

What is your ferritin level? Mine was through the floor and I felt dreadful and looked dreadful.

I am sleeping like the dead now, with a combo of the mirena coil (non stop progesterone which makes you sleepy), vaginal oestrogen cream which stops you needing a wee in the night and magnesium malate in the morning with vitamin D, K2 and zinc and then magnesium glycinate at night. I take 450mg of glycinate at about 6pm and this helps me sleep so deeply.

You can't take too much magnesium, your body gets rid of the excess.

Good luck with the HRT.

I have found box breathing to be helpful, but you really need to practise it, it is a skill that needs to be learnt. I learnt how to do it during a guided meditation class which taught me how to redirect all those intrusive thoughts so that I can now finally get my brain to STFU. I just need to get my temperature regulation under control now. 🙄

Thank you to everyone who has made suggestions, I’ve read them all and appreciate all the responses.

After research, I’ve bought some magnesium glycinate and I’m going to try a small bowl of porridge before bed and go back to basic skincare for now.

You said you couldn’t get tret? Why, it’s easily available, and if used properly makes a difference.

@highfidelity what’s wrong with a gel moisturiser? Aveeno seems to be very gentle.

Easily available where? It only seems to be via things like Skin and Me and I can’t be spending £25 a month currently until I’m back in work. A tube was €15 and lasted for 6 months. Plus they put niacinimide in and I can’t have that, it brings me out in (more) spots.

I used to get it from Spain where a family member was living but they moved back to the U.K several months ago. I have to say, my skin didn’t improve on it and it hasn’t worsened since stopping so I don’t even know if it’s worth bothering going back to it when I can afford to. I built up to using it pretty much every other day too.

@Bignanna - I didn’t mean that first sentence to sound so sassy! I’ve just read it back and it sounds more combative than how I originally wrote it, it’s a genuine question!

Definitely try eating something just before bed to help maintain your blood sugar levels. I have found that cetirizine - a non drowsy antihistamine - makes me sleep like a log too. I saw that sleep stories don't help you but you could try Paul McKenna's sleep hypnosis. You also could try having a conversation with the chatty part of your brain. Tell it that it's not helping and needs to be quiet. You'll have to keep repeating it but it may help. Good luck.

I agree it’s a lot to pay every month. I should have bought a truck load when I lived in Spain, but didn’t know about it then!

I'm similar in age to you. My skin was disgusting until around 6mths ago when I stopped using pretty much everything on it. Now I'm using warm water in the morning and a bit of cheap Nivea lotion, then micellar water in the evening and Nivea cream before bed. It's never looked better - I can only assume I was overdoing the products before.

HRT, tretinoin and botox.

I'm 42 and had this in my late 30s. It happened almost overnight and was terrifying.

HRT costs £20 per month and significantly improves sleep quality once you start. It provides a turning point.

Tret 0.025% from a Monderma, Skin+Me etc for around £25ish pm smooths out skin texture, sun damage and fine lines. While using it you often look or at least feel 2-3 years younger.

Botox is £150-200 twice a year. This will give your complexion a big lift and takes off another few years off. It will give you your confidence back without a doubt.

Keep eating well and drinking plenty of water otherwise and you'll be back in no time. Your skincare routine is good - stick to it with the addition of tret.

Thank you. I think this is what I want to do and once I’m sorted with work again and I can be more frivolous then I’m going to get back on it. For now it’s evening porridge, magnesium and retinal! But I’ll get there.

Go for it!

Upper face botox area like your grown lines between eyebrows, forehead lines and crows feet, and tretinoin 0.025% from Dermatica/Monderma/Skin+Me.

Otherwise you eat and drink well, and have a good skincare routine. You're not a million miles off.

I had this realisation about a year ago too!

Interested to hear that you were using tret but aren’t anymore? Is that for medical reasons or struggling to get prescribed? If so there are plenty of online skin places like Skin and Me and Monderma that send you it in a monthly formula.

If you can’t have it for medical reasons, they do have other active ingredients that make a huge difference. I’d recommend simplifying your routine getting one of those, they’re more effective so you’re not wasting your time and money to see real changes in your skin!

I also found that I wasn’t drinking enough water, which sounds silly but made a big difference to my skin and overall health too.