Unfortunately, she has to go to a ball (and really needs some help)

[radiatorcat]

I hesitate to ask because I'm very difficult. 😞

DD has asked me to come to a formal fundraising function being held by a club she attends. I feel I have to go, for her. I really don't want to 😭.

It is being advertised as a 'ball' but there will be a Scottish ceilidh as well as dancing.

I have already spent HOURS doom scrolling looking for something to wear with growing panic. I'm recalling all the past events in my life where I felt self-conscious, frumpy, badly put together, all my flaws on show with ever increasing misery. I don't want DD to sense this in me.

My searching is informed by this.

Practicalities

1.It's a Ceilidh - extremely vigorous dancing so nothing I will stand on and fall flat on my face (like I nearly did at my wedding). It can't be too long. I would love something below mid-calf - the sort of length HRH Kate often wears.

1. I'm on a tight budget. I've actually been looking on Vinted a lot.

Absolute no-nos.

Nothing that exposes too much of my back (I have ugly moles).
No thin straps or strapless.
No satin or clingy fabrics that will reveal my lumpy thighs and droopy bum.
No body-con styles at all.

My body shape and taste

I have narrow shoulders with wider hips. I'm mid-fifties and about a size 12. I prefer classy to glamorous (but maybe need to be pushed out my comfort zone a little). I suit navy and greens and teals and black etc.

Dresses I have felt most comfortable in in the past.

Ones that skim my hips and then flare out.
Fitted-ish around upper body.
Ones that have some sort of sleeve - fluttery or cap even. Seems to balance me out.

If you can suggest where to look or things to consider I'd be so grateful.

Yup. I think that's a very fair point. I'm looking for a skirt pattern I like as well.

That black M&S dress is lovely

And gold too if I want to really bling it up.

Sewing floaty fabrics is quite a bit easier these days ... because temporary fabric glue exists

A bit easy to tear during strip the willow.

Three possible skirt patterns

Skirt or culottes! If I make my own skirt I can lengthen to my ideal length.

Pattern 1 and 3 there would be lovely in a black taffeta, or some other dark colour (dark teal, dark aubergine, burgundy). A stiff satin would work well too. You could lengthen skirt 3. The structure is what appeals to me in both (especially #3) pleats always look eveningy.

If you could find some plaid taffeta or stiff satin, so much the better. Then you could opt for a black or navy top. Jacquard fabric is ball-ish too.

Avoid light colours (apart from metallics) for an evening ball, and crinkle fabrics have too much of a summer holiday vibe too. Don't use the green crinkle fabric, I guess is what I'm saying.

I would avoid culottes. I don't think they're formal enough for the occasion even in a formal fabric or colour.

No. If you're going to make something then choose fabric that looks fab on you.

I am a very similar age and shape to you but now a firm size 16. I bought this for a black tie ball with lots of dancing. Wore it with silver M&S buckled ballet flats. It was super comfy, not too hot and straightforward to unzip to go to the loo. You do need to make sure the door lock is working with jumpsuits though. I wouldn't usually wear jump suits as my pear shaped backside is rather huge in my eyes. The sleeves were a flattering length and I've worn it in both summer and winter now.

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/holly-black-velvet-jumpsuit-221862050.html#cgid=jumpsuits&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=221862050&pos=48

Flowery skirt pattern, length adjusted for the right shoes and long enough to hide trainers later ;)

I'd find the right top first though before committing. If it were me I'd channel Meryl Streep and wear a white taffeta blouse with a long black taffeta skirt. Presume you can then wear a length of tartan if so inclined?

Joe Browns have a sale on. This is lovely & £40. Get the 14 & adjust the corset back to your perfect fit.

That's exactly what I'm thinking too. I've been hunting out blouse patterns. I think these would tuck into a waistband. The yellow one does have sleeve options.

And then there were these two as well. A wrap top would require a waistband on the skirt. I like the white one but maybe not for this occasion.

I agree with Mathanxiety - go for a robust fabric. Scottish dancing is basically the same as being doused in alcohol and put into the tumble dryer: you only need someone's heel on your chiffon and it would go.

I always think a heavy satin skirt with a plain white shirt looks classy and modern: ball gowns went out in the 90s I reckon.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/314196511483979150/

To state the obvious - all the skirt patterns you posted have the example made in a stiffish fabric - jacquard, taffeta etc. It won’t be the same shape at all made in chiffon.

Yes, this was deliberate to avoid skirt or trousers being ripped by floating under someone's foot during strip the willow.

Do you have a dress hire place near you? I've always found that an easier route and they will alter too.

No, unfortunately not.

Have a look at Scarlett & Jo - www.scarlettandjo.com

Sorry do you mean you’ve dropped the long floaty chiffon idea in favour of a stiffer style - if so I entirely agree!

There are loads of those stiffer taffeta skirts on sale at the moment - in many different lengths - just in case you cba sewing or run out of time.

Has this purple cord Me+Em dress already been mentioned? Great for a spot of reeling.

https://www.meandem.com/cord-velour-fit-and-flare-dress-deep-winter-iris?glCountry=GB&glCurrency=GBP&gQT=1#288=1803

@minipie Yes, I have. I'm still going to make those trousers though! Just not for this occasion.

Yes they’re lovely! But agree not for reeling

One thing I remember from ceilidh is that it got really hot - or at least I did - and that was years ago pre peri. So I’d avoid anything too warm especially top half - layers would be good.