Unfortunately, she has to go to a ball (and really needs some help)

[radiatorcat]

I hesitate to ask because I'm very difficult. 😞

DD has asked me to come to a formal fundraising function being held by a club she attends. I feel I have to go, for her. I really don't want to 😭.

It is being advertised as a 'ball' but there will be a Scottish ceilidh as well as dancing.

I have already spent HOURS doom scrolling looking for something to wear with growing panic. I'm recalling all the past events in my life where I felt self-conscious, frumpy, badly put together, all my flaws on show with ever increasing misery. I don't want DD to sense this in me.

My searching is informed by this.

Practicalities

1.It's a Ceilidh - extremely vigorous dancing so nothing I will stand on and fall flat on my face (like I nearly did at my wedding). It can't be too long. I would love something below mid-calf - the sort of length HRH Kate often wears.

1. I'm on a tight budget. I've actually been looking on Vinted a lot.

Absolute no-nos.

Nothing that exposes too much of my back (I have ugly moles).
No thin straps or strapless.
No satin or clingy fabrics that will reveal my lumpy thighs and droopy bum.
No body-con styles at all.

My body shape and taste

I have narrow shoulders with wider hips. I'm mid-fifties and about a size 12. I prefer classy to glamorous (but maybe need to be pushed out my comfort zone a little). I suit navy and greens and teals and black etc.

Dresses I have felt most comfortable in in the past.

Ones that skim my hips and then flare out.
Fitted-ish around upper body.
Ones that have some sort of sleeve - fluttery or cap even. Seems to balance me out.

If you can suggest where to look or things to consider I'd be so grateful.

The waist is a bit fussy. Something more streamline might work better.

I’m completely with you on dressing up and try to stick to my style but in better fabrics and cut. I’ve been known to cry when trying on clothes to go out in yet often told I’m elegant. It’s a minefield.

What about something like this? Depends on how you feel about polyester though. I don't normally wear it but for one night, it might be ok.

https://prettykittyfashion.co.uk/collections/50s-swing-dresses/products/copy-of-navy-blue-vintage-a-line-crossover-capped-sleeve-tea-swing-dress

As a pp said, you could add a strip of tartan for some colour but the sequins might make you feel more sparkly if the others are talking very glam.

Nobody’s Child has a sale and they have some calf length needle cord dressed with the quarter length sleeves which would be perfect for a Scottish knees up.

What about this? I know you said no satin but it doesn’t look clingy.

www.marksandspencer.com/satin-v-neck-midi-skater-dress/p/clp23014321?color=BLACK#intid=pid_pg1pip48g4r7c4

Just spotted in comes in a longer sleeve option as well (sorry for weird long link) - https://prettykittyfashion.co.uk/products/navy-blue-silver-glitter-vintage-a-line-crossover-3-4-sleeve-tea-swing-dress?variant=43471119679747&country=GB&currency=GBP&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gad_source=5&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIur7H-pn6igMV5W8VCB1NpDmzEAEYASADEgKCIPD_BwE

This one doesn't have the sleeves you want but might be flared enough for you. As it's fitted at the waist, I'd ask the buyer for dress measurements.
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5650269805-bnwt-karen-millen-ruby-sequined-dress?referrer=catalog

I've got those dresses - and I love them, but they're hot!

I've only skimmed the thread so sorry if someone else has already suggested this, but have you considered hiring a dress? It feels like a waste to buy something if you really are going to wear it once.

I’d wear this black and white striped skirt https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5436440688-coast-black-and-white-skirt (£15) and either a plain black top or a crisp white shirt with ballet flats. Aiming for this sort of look;

This looks lovely. Could be very flattering and would suit low/flat shoes for dancing. Probably wear it again and again too.
www.monsoon.co.uk/nadia-embroidered-midi-shirt-dress-blue-20001700003.html

Oh, I like the black/white skirt, @Enterthewolves! Maybe with a sequinned mesh top, as everyone's going sparkly? Like this, only I detest searching on Vinted:
https://www.asos.com/superdry/superdry-sheer-short-sleeve-sequin-top-in-black-fringe/prd/207463528

This one's a size 14 and has the sleeves you like but you'd need to find out how long it is:
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5639564137-sequin-yumi-dress

Another size 14 but looks easy to take the bust in a bit.
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5659674529-emerald-green-glitter-dress

This from Monsoon? It's lightweight viscose, so should be nice to wear and breathable. Many colours. £38 in sale.
https://www.monsoon.co.uk/renata-ruffle-maxi-dress-black-20000630001.html

Size 12, meets your style criteria but is it glitzy enough? It has some sequins amongst the beads and flowers and you could always add a few more sequins to the bodice. I'd love to have this dress myself but nowhere to wear it!
It's only been up for 2 days and has 19 likes so it'll be sold soon.
https://www.vinted.co.uk/items/5649569303-monsoon-beaded-layer-dress

https://images.app.goo.gl/bhgfrv5yNwadWwf69 This skirt and a top like the model is wearing. You’d probably be able to pick something up really cheap on Vinted/ sales

www.monsoon.co.uk/serenity-velvet-dress-black-6407640110.html

I have this and love it, it always receives compliments. Only size 10 available but it's quite generous.

Thank you all so much. You've really helped to focus my search.

Separates hadn't even occurred to me, but makes sooo much sense, especially in that I'll be more likely to wear them again.

I've made a bold decision. I'm going to make myself either a skirt or trousers.

I'm currently leaning towards the Vogue pattern below even though the waist is higher than I'd ordinarily go for. If I make them in chiffon they'll be very floaty, and can be affordable, even though they take huge volumes of fabric. On fabric - I could go simple and plain, or choose a print. There are even some metallic chiffons available. I've attached fabric ideas found in a quick search. I quite like the floral but also could just go navy or black.

The reason why this is a bold decision is because I've done this before with miserable results. I made a dress for a wedding but ended up unhappy with it, and had to wear it anyway!

This time I'm telling myself I have things in my favour: YouTube and time. The last time I was seeing the day before! Never again.

Oooh brilliant! I have made a few things over the last year for my teenage dd (she's doing a textiles gcse so we are learning together). Please show us what you end up making! Floaty trousers are right up my street too and I will be making some for the spring. Good luck x

Here's another question. This colour does not suit me at all next to my face. But if it was in floaty trousers, with a white shirt, could that be pulled off?

Thank you @mewkins. I used to see a lot many years ago. I hope I can remember how, and I hope chiffon doesn't defeat me! It's a notoriously difficult fabric to sew.

If it were a choice between the fabrics you've shown, I'd go for the foil printed chiffon. I can see the appeal of the lime crinkle, but fear you'd end up getting all anxious about a top to go with. Gold, blue, and blue/gold tops are plentiful.

While I was checking out your fabrics, I came across this beauty (many colour options, £4.88) https://midlandtextiles.co.uk/products/gold-shimmer-foil-satin-georgette-chiffon-crepe-fabric-110cm-mr1178-mtex

If all else fails, you could always hand hem as I imagine that's the most fiddly bit with chiffon.

I would just say that I love floaty/wide-leg trousers for an evening look, but I would 100 per cent get tangled up and fall in them in a ceilidh.

Although I slipped on a puddle of water left by the dog yesterday and faceplanted the back of the sofa so I am particularly clumsy, so maybe that's just me.

I'd absolutely go for a big skirt like the gold one.