I want to be a glossy 4x4 mum

[glossystyle]

I’ve got major envy for those glossy mums who always look effortlessly put-together, the ones who pull up in a gleaming 4x4, wearing an immaculate coat, perfect jeans, and trainers that somehow look fresh and stylish instead of like they’ve been through a muddy football field. Their hair always seems bouncy, their nails are pristine, and they make juggling kids and life look so chic. I know the reality underneath will be different to this perceived polish but I fantasise about gliding around like a glossy mum.

I’m determined to give my wardrobe and look a bit of an upgrade, but I can’t afford to throw money around. I’m obsessed with Vinted, and I’d love some advice on what kind of brands or key pieces I should be looking for to recreate this vibe. Think understated luxury, nothing that screams flashy, just timeless, polished style. I am 42 and would love to dress youthfully but established.

I also feel like there’s some secret to their beauty routines, always glowing skin, neat nails, and perfectly styled hair that looks natural but clearly isn’t. Is this the magic of a Dyson Airwrap and Charlotte Tilbury, or am I missing something?

Basically, how do I create this effortless gloss without bankrupting myself? And is there anyone else out there reinventing themselves via Vinted too? Would love any tips, tricks, or recommendations to help me nail the look! Thank youuuu.

I agree. I don't need mine but if it upsets people like you, I'm keeping it for as long as possible. Will definitely replace with another one when I need to.

I’m learning a lot through this thread that you can be judged for all sorts of things you’re a mum but no one seems to criticise the dads who are constantly in trackies or the ones who are able to attend the gym 4 times a week and keep up their regular appointments with the barber.

I like to take care of my appearance. It doesn’t make me any less of a good mum. I can bake perfectly fine with my short shellacked nails. When my son is in bed a couple of nights a week & husband working late I’ll have a bath, blow dry my hair & do a beauty treatment while watching Netflix or reading a book. I’m very far from perfect but I don’t think anyone who comes across my kid in an education setting has any right to judge my parenting because I have clean nails and a nice coat.

Speaking as a Mum and someone who works in Education, I have more respect for the non-glossy Mum.

If you are working in education one would have expected that you would know that the English language, unlike for example German, does not capitalise common nouns.

I love this thread. Some people really getting their knickers in a twist. Lighten up a bit! Each to their own.

The mums I know who fit this image - or at least my interpretation of it, which is toned, fit, well-groomed and minimalist but expensive clothes - are lovely, devoted mothers with lovely, well-adjusted kids.

They’re not SAHMs, either, they’re highly successful career women. They can - and do - pay for extra help, and more power to them, if I could afford it I certainly wouldn’t be scrubbing my own loo, but the extra time that gains them is spent with their DC.

I admire them. They may not “have it all” but they give a very good impression of doing so!

I would literally bet my last hobnob that they are not a teacher. Or in any position of authority. And nor do they work in education.

The mums I know who fit this image - or at least my interpretation of it, which is toned, fit, well-groomed and minimalist but expensive clothes - are lovely, devoted mothers with lovely, well-adjusted kids.

They’re not SAHMs, either, they’re highly successful career women. They can - and do - pay for extra help, and more power to them, if I could afford it I certainly wouldn’t be scrubbing my own loo, but the extra time that gains them is spent with their DC.

I admire them. They may not “have it all” but they give a very good impression of doing so!

Double-posted, apologies.

Oh come on! Implying that women who get their nails done do it instead of playing with their kids is ridiculous.

This thread just shows some people think a woman can’t be interested in fashion or beauty without having some major failing.

Plenty of mums are probably fitting in the odd nail or hair appointment during their lunch break at work or when the kids are otherwise occupied. And even if a mum is taking an hour to get their nails done instead of playing with the kids, why are you judging them?! Would you judge a dad who went to the gym for an hour on a Saturday morning? Or would you judge a mum who took an hour to herself on the weekend to go to a cafe and read a book? Why do you think it’s ok to look down on a woman that’s interested in looking a certain way or enjoys fashion or beauty?

Good God and you are teaching our children? God help us with the guilt laden misogynistic attitudes coming from women like you let alone from men

I do think some women just have an appearance that lends itself well to this 'look'. Naturally tall and slender with good skin and good teeth (mostly down to genetics!). A symetrical face with nice features. I have a dear friend who absolutely nails it but I'd say its 75% the above and the remaining 25% comes down to money and time. She's a very hands on mum (so creative) and also very intelligent, funny and kind if she wasn't my best friend I'd hate her.

This in heaps.

Sleep, not having worries written across your face, not stressing about what to get for tea, not doing any laundry, only job of the day being drop off or pick up and certainly not everyday.

Going for coffees after said drop off, not rushing anywhere.

Having time to chinwag on the phone to friends.

Good healthcare.

Worries and being tired are what makes most of us not look our best.

I was going to say time management, but that's a luxury in itself for most as not enough hours in the day.

I've known a few of such mums and they all had help.

A cleaner, nanny, housekeeper, gardener, window cleaner, the more you empty, the more time to look your best.

If you have undereye bags, tired, sweaty or rushing all over, you will struggle to pull off a beautiful outfit.

It's a combination of inner Ben which comes through. Hence some acne look effortless in just jeans and a white tee.

I love these threads.

Op check out wearetwinset on Instagram, is his the sort of look? Everyone has a slightly different aspirational look.

I will say to all those people sneering at a woman taking time to get her nails done or getting up early to do their hair, my mental health is often linked to how much I prioritise self care. If I'm a bit low, I'm more likely to have messy hair and not have bothered with makeup. I know I'm not alone in this, there's something very sinister in implying women are attentive mothers if they haven't spent time on themselves. Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone but it's something to think about.

There are Jaeger jeans in the M&S sale, cashmere at John Lewis, not at all my usual style or non style, but I really want them now. I can just see myself in them with a pair of Russel and Bromley’s on my feet. I haven’t even got any kids at school. I think it’s very unfair to equate vacuous with glossy motherhood. Women have to do it all now, and if you get seen as prioritising motherhood at work, you miss out. My Dd with 2 under 2 is trying to sort a skincare regime and non breastfeeding clothes for her imminent return to work, so that she is taken seriously. My ddil is very definitely a glossy school run Mum. She always has good hair and skin, bag coat and shoes, and simple streamlined clothes underneath. And that is a good thing, to know that you count too. I know women whose children always look so well cared for whilst they haven’t bought new clothes since the age of their eldest +9 months. One of my friends was still wearing nursing bras when her kids were in Senior school. She was so taken for granted, at work and at home.

I just want to add, I used to be really scruffy, and told my daughters that they didn’t have to perform femininity for anyone. I’ve learned this from them. Wish I’d known it when I was being overloaded and passed over at work in my crappy clothes.

This!!!! Thank you ❤️

I can say FFS all I like thanks and I won't "take a chill pill". I work in a very senior male dominated professional role which is intellectually very demanding. I am unusual in being a relatively young woman in that role even though I am 50. I am always well groomed and fairly glamorous in my style.

I also have three children, none of whom were neglected and all of whom get my attention. My husband does not buy my clothes or give me pin money!

The misogyny on this thread is shocking. To imply that a woman must be vacuous and being provided for by her husband just because she is well presented is just awful and is a massive step backwards. What the fuck has happened to feminism?

What is the significance of pointing out that you work in a male dominated role Ciri - if we're talking about feminism???

@Lostinmusic22 I think you are absolutely right. Sometimes, on a day when there are many trying conversations to be had, I catch sight of myself in the bathroom mirrors and think "at least I like my outfit today"** and it ensures I return to the office / meeting with a bit more pep in my step.

And I think how I dress (together with my naturally bright red, curly, huge hair) also perhaps helps to make me more memorable.

**And I always like my outfit on a given day. I take great joy from beautiful clothes and find daily pleasure in what I am wearing, be it the fabrics or the colours or my red lipstick or my mother's earrings or the pleasing click of my brogues or whatever.

Thanks - just watched his AW24 show and loved it! You're right, there is no hint anywhere of retail availability

Yes there is. It isn't about reacting badly though. It's about having a youthful forehead and a not-so-youthful lower face. Botox is fine up until about 50. Then it just looks a bit obvious.

It was making the point that we are not all airheads just because we like to look nice. Many of us work hard and have fought to get to where we are.

I'm surprised its taken this long in the thread to say this. I agree.

If you are naturally attractive, you've got a big advantage. Add to that confidence and a nice personality, friendly etc. That cannot be bought or mimicked. That to me is the ultimate 'glossy' mum.

I have, completely by accident this morning, come across the Petradieners account on Instagram. She's older but very glossy looking and I love her style. I'm convinced that if I had her money, I would look exactly like this (I wouldn't).

Ironing, skiing, culture and regular hair appointments????
"I never saw such a woman. She would certainly be a fearsome thing to behold."