What to wear when 40+ and you look like everyone’s boring mother (work night out)

[Greenlittlegrasshopper]

I’m 40 and the eldest of my team of 5, although there are two in their mid late 30s and then three in late 20s / early 30s.

They are also all above averagely attractive women.

then there’s me 😭😭😭
I’m a size 8 but I’m not toned so my figure is poor and I think I look much bigger. My hair is nondescript and a bit rubbish. I’m only 5ft 5 so not that tall so struggle to pull some stuff off. Bust is small. Face is hideous.
I feel so awful about how I look at the moment it’s making me reluctant to go.

if I do go what on earth can I wear? It’s just a night out, meal and then drinks. Probably dressier than jeans but not like super dressy.

Budget of about £250 all in. I have no idea. I am so tired of looking like the old ugly granny in the corner 🤣

Sorry but these are hideous! The green one looks like someone's vommed

Tesco have got some reasonably priced nice stuff in at the moment, may be worth having a look in there. You'd then have enough of your budget to do hair/make up. Agree with PP good idea to go to a make up counter and try some things out if you think that'd make you feel less granny! I'm sure you'll look fab whatever!

How about this lot?!

All from M&S

And these...

I agree. It’s really sad to hear you describe yourself in such terms. I would definitely put some of the money aside and get a hair cut or at least a blow dry before you go out. That always makes me feel better. Fresher if you like.

I really like that - maybe with some smart black jeans and healed boots.

I think this would be good
https://www.roman.co.uk/sleeveless-sequin-trim-stretch-dress-14330108

Then treat yourself to some bracelets and shoes

OP, same age and shape as you here. I’ve got last year’s version of the black and gold velvet at this link. I love it, but just be aware it is quite gapey at the bust - I’m also small busted and it doesn’t bother me (just wear a nice bra and care if it shows) but might concern you.

I do also think there’s a risk of something like this looking a bit frumpy if not styled quite right - but a lot of the suggestions above are essentially ‘jeans and a nice top’ so maybe that’s back in??

Sorry to read that you feel the way you do. No way should you be spending £250 unless it for something to be worn many times.

I would also spend most of that money on hair and makeup on the day. It'll make a huge difference to the way you feel to have those done professionally.

I have this at age 52. It is Gen X, early 90's, but covered with a fluffy or glittery cardigan and some chunky boots, it should mainly cover me and be a proper "look."
www.marksandspencer.com/v-neck-midaxi-slip-dress/p/clp60680017#intid=pid_pg1pip48g2r3c1

That's nice.

Granny in the corner at 40?! Eh?

Get yourself to the shops this weekend, try on a few outfits, get something you feel comfortable in and a fab accessory or two, e.g. nice sparkly handbag and a new lippie and enjoy yourself!

Open toe shoes in pouring rain is not a great look. Yet another thing to worry about! Plus a pedicure. Boots all the way. I see women wearing open toe sandals out horse racing in the middle of winter - it’s not a great look.

Hugs OP. I think I'd get a really nice pair of black jeans and a sparkly little jumper. I bet you'll look lovely. But I feel your pain, I'd rather sit indoors than have the stress of trying to look nice for a night out!

what about something like:

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-embellished-midi-dress-916811

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-diamante-clutch-bag-918898

Or

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-velvet-wide-leg-trousers-914319

https://www.riverisland.com/p/grey-embellished-knee-high-heeled-boots-915193

Or

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-velvet-halter-neck-jumpsuit-917001

https://www.riverisland.com/p/black-closed-back-strappy-platform-sandals-915212

That's gorgeous!

We are often so hard on ourselves. I bet you don't look hideous at all. I agree you should get your hair & makeup done and get a new outfit. You will feel a million dollars.

But you can be dressed to the nines but if you worry about what you look like you don't get that inner spark.
Being confident and enjoying yourself makes everyone look 20% better no matter what.

Are your legs good?

I know this is for a work do not a date but I’m early 40s and this is my go-to first date outfit:

short flippy dress
very thin black tights
either black suede knee high boots or pointy black heels
oversized blazer more or less the same length as the dress

It’s never failed me yet 😂

This is the sort of ‘look’ I mean.

Agree. I'm 54 and the oldest in my workplace I think. Most people are 20s and 30s. I'll be wearing a wool dress and boots to my work Christmas party. I like my clothes, I dress for myself. Sometimes much younger female colleagues even say they like something I'm wearing!

Some of the suggestions here are a bit old for someone who’s only 40 imo.

OP, I think I would steer clear of jumpsuits and midi dresses if you don’t want to look older.

We're so hard on ourselves. I bet you're not in the slightest bit hideous. But I know that feeling of being old and frumpy compared to the young ones.
I think the trick is not to go too dressy. Young women don't seem to dress up here (London) although I know it's dressier in other places. I often feel the more effort I make, the older I feel 🤣😭
I think focusing on stuff that makes you feel good is key. Get your hair done if you're not happy with it. Get your nails done. Get some new make up. Maybe get advice from a beauty counter if you're feeling stuck in a rut.
My go to at the moment is a long satin skirt with heeled knee high boots and either a fitted polo neck or a shorter length little jumper. Feels glamorous and swishy without looking like I've tried too hard.
You're not competing with them. Go and enjoy your evening!