All my clothes look horrific on - massive out of proportion stomach

[Doublebubblegum]

Help!

I'm 41 and a size 14. Was a size 10-12 right up to about two years ago and now seem to be putting on weight very easily. I'm not too bothered by this but all the weight is going onto my stomach.

I've always had a slight belly but it's now got completely ridiculous. It's so out of proportion to the rest of me that about 90% of the clothes in my wardrobe now look awful on me.

To all others with out of proportion stomachs - what do you wear that is flattering? I think it makes It worse that I'm a sort of lopsided hourglass shape. Big boobs, big hips but small waist. Then BAM under my waist is this protruding stomach. I used to wear things to accentuate my waist (so for work I'd wear belted wide leg trousers with a shirt tucked in) but anything that accentuates my waist now just draws attention to my tummy.

I can no longer wear high waisted wide leg trousers/jeans (although I love the look of these! But just pull across my stomach and highlight this area). Mom jeans, skinny jeans etc are also out too. Anything with a drawstring waist just adds bulk to me.

In the summer I managed to find a couple of summer dresses that skimmed over the stomach area but now it's getting colder I've completely lost my way and have no idea what suits me any more. All the fitted/knitted dresses just look silly on me.

Please help!
(I know I should really look to find a way to lose this weight but honestly I don't have the energy right now. And I'm not really bothered about the extra weight, it's just the fact it's all going to one place! If it was fairly distributed I'd be fine 🤣)

Take the attention away from your stomach with jewellery or interesting necklines. I'm sure others are not as judgemental as your are.

M&S straight & bootcut jeans are a great & comfy fit on my big belly & skinny thighs. Very stretchy and forgiving. And these tops from Phase 8 that someone recommended on another thread are great too, they fit neatly around the hips / belly so you don’t look any bigger than you are, but are very roomy everywhere else which balances everything out and doesn’t draw attention to the sticky-outness of the belly. https://www.phase-eight.com/product/cristine-knit-jumper-404046351.html#cgid=knitwear&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=404046351&pos=4

Agree with Marks’s trousers being good for the big of tummy and thin of thigh. But they are never ruddy well in stock on-line!

@MoodEnhancer so sorry, I just did a quickie Google A line skirt and copied it random! 🥺

Small waist, big hips/thighs/tummy here and the Abercrombie Love Curve jeans are great. I bought some in the sale to try and then got quite a few pairs on Vinted. They come in three leg lengths and the long are great for me (5'11").

I have this issue. I’m quite small on top, small chested and very slight but all my weight goes to my stomach-it looks awful, like I’m pregnant!

I have to watch what I wear, I tend to wear skater dresses or jeans with a looser jumper. Or a skirt that is fitting around my waist (which is small) and hides my belly.

I had the same. Feel loads better now after having the op.

Invest in some decent sucky in pants!

I caved and got some last year and now my clothes just look like they fit better.

I don't wear them everyday, just on special occasions or when I'm going out with friends.

My Gran used to say the best investment a woman can make at 40 is decent supportive and streamlining underwear!

How Painful was it and what was the recovery like? When could you do light housework / work / drive? Did they send you home with drains in?

It honestly wasn't painful, at all. If you go privately then they give you the good painkillers and manage your pain relief very thoroughly. I had some soreness but nothing more. There was no being fobbed off with paracetamol like I was after a c-section! My drains were removed whilst still in hospital.

I was fully upright and pottering around the house within about 3 days? DH helped me to shower the first few times, but I didn't do any house work because we have a cleaner. I think I was driving after about 4 weeks?

It was a lot less debilitating than recovering from a C-section.

I’ve got this top from M&S
https://www.marksandspencer.com/embroidered-crew-neck-puff-sleeve-blouse/p/clp60679275?color=BLACK#intid=carousel_FUNH_AT_PHOENIX-SIMILAR_END_PDP_16_1:60fd45d8-f718-4099-9c5c-356c9c92b4cb
it skims the stomach area but is flattering all over. I’ve also got it in the other fabric, which doesn’t look great on the website, but is lovely IRL. They look like totally different tops, but are the same design.
https://www.marksandspencer.com/floral-print-puff-sleeve-blouse/p/clp60679272?color=BLACKMIX#intid=carousel_FUNH_AT_PHOENIX-SIMILAR_END_PDP_16_1:0c5ecc32-b245-44fe-ad5e-989370c24372

I too have a big stomach. No bloating, pure squidgy fat 😭

Keto will help if it's water weight

Yes to this. In all honesty it’s probably peri, but really is best to check no underlying issues.

My SIL has this shape and long bias cut skirts suit her.

I'm very similar to you op! I'm about to turn 41 too.

I am basically living in dresses at work and then athleisure at the weekends (got some decent leggings which hold me in a bit and wear them with a longish sweatshirt and trainers). I've just put away my last pair of jeans as I can't really wear them - if they're tight enough on I feel uncomfortable and look pregnant, but if they're too loose they fall down which is even worse! Dresses all the way for me at the moment

I think you need to wear peplum - this is how I hid my pregnancy until quite late...

Find something - a top or dress - that nips in under your bust/top of waist and then flares out. It'll make you look slim and disguise a rounder tummy

OP I am a similar age to you and had the exact same experience last year. I essentially did what ticklecrab says above. Height also makes a difference - how tall are you?

Early this year, my tummy expanded even more and I was bursting out of size 14 trousers. That was the final straw and I joined weight watchers 😂and now it’s gone. I couldn’t face getting a whole new wardrobe in a 16, just felt like too much effort.

I was going to say that. There was a MN thread a few years ago 'Obese with slim arms and legs' which was ovarian cancer.

I remember her @whiteroseredrose she had a username with Twitter in it or similar.

Could you ask your gp to get you a trans vaginal scan. I had a massive fibroid and that caused a huge belly.

@Cormoran she was called TwitterQueen1 and very sadly lost her battle with ovarian cancer a year or so later. She was very brave.

Agreeing with the other posters about checking out the possibility of it being something more serious.
5 years ago I was diagnosed with Stage One ovarian cancer. My only symptoms was an enlarged stomach, which was only found by chance when I had an MRI scan for something else.
I had a complete hysterectomy and the ovarian tumour that was removed weighed 50lb.
Luckily it proved to be benign but it was a very frightening experience

I'd also agree it might be wise to get it checked.

If you do a sensible diet and exercise and it reduces and you look and feel better - that's great.

But it may not just be what used to be called 'middle-age spread.'

Have a personal audit - anything else about how you feel, how it looks? Pain, bloating, unexpected bleeding, nausea?

Gynae issues can have weird symptoms.
I've had uterine polyp removals, and gastroscopy for a stomach issue. Others have talked about ovarian cancer.

My father, grandmother and stepfather all had odd symptoms that turned out to be liver, stomach, bowel cancer.

We don't want to frighten you but as time goes on things can go wrong.

Call the doctor - and don't be fobbed off.

Have you thought about shapewear just to tide you over untill you lose the weight. Not anything tortuous like spanx which are horrible but just something that will pull you in a bit. I often wear it.
I find layering clothes really helps over your problem areas. Top and nice jacket or knitwear and then something that will show off your legs.

I was about to say something similar. A girl I shared a house with at Uni started putting on weight and looking quite pregnant. She just kept wearing baggier clothes to hide it all. We shared a house for 3 years. We then met up a few years later and she had lost the weight and was so slim. It turned out that she had a massive cyst the size of a football removed!!

So Worth getting checked out.