All my clothes look horrific on - massive out of proportion stomach

[Doublebubblegum]

Help!

I'm 41 and a size 14. Was a size 10-12 right up to about two years ago and now seem to be putting on weight very easily. I'm not too bothered by this but all the weight is going onto my stomach.

I've always had a slight belly but it's now got completely ridiculous. It's so out of proportion to the rest of me that about 90% of the clothes in my wardrobe now look awful on me.

To all others with out of proportion stomachs - what do you wear that is flattering? I think it makes It worse that I'm a sort of lopsided hourglass shape. Big boobs, big hips but small waist. Then BAM under my waist is this protruding stomach. I used to wear things to accentuate my waist (so for work I'd wear belted wide leg trousers with a shirt tucked in) but anything that accentuates my waist now just draws attention to my tummy.

I can no longer wear high waisted wide leg trousers/jeans (although I love the look of these! But just pull across my stomach and highlight this area). Mom jeans, skinny jeans etc are also out too. Anything with a drawstring waist just adds bulk to me.

In the summer I managed to find a couple of summer dresses that skimmed over the stomach area but now it's getting colder I've completely lost my way and have no idea what suits me any more. All the fitted/knitted dresses just look silly on me.

Please help!
(I know I should really look to find a way to lose this weight but honestly I don't have the energy right now. And I'm not really bothered about the extra weight, it's just the fact it's all going to one place! If it was fairly distributed I'd be fine 🤣)

You sound very similar to me. I don’t go anywhere where I need to dress up (I wouldn’t have a clue anymore) so my day time wear is decent quality leggings and jumpers/tops. The trousers are always black so I try to make the jumpers/tops/cardigans the focal point - decent quality, slouchy, comfy material, always cover the bum. Ankle or mid calf boots. Winter is more forgiving than summer.

Having a podgy stomach and big boobs (gg) has made me lose all interest in fashion.

Yes this is my problem too.
Summer is easy as lots of stomach skimming dresses and my legs are slim and toned.
Winter I wear finer knit dresses that skim the stomach with chunky boots or loafers or wide leg pull on trousers with a shorter fitted top. I used to wear longer, baggier tops but realised it made me look much bigger.
Someone on here recommended Halara for jeans, I've just received mine and I love them. They're wide leg but have an elasticated band instead of a zip so really flattering
here

Lots of great tips on this thread - if anyone else has found mid-rise trousers or jeans that suit big tummy skinny legs could you link as it’s something I really struggle to find.

I want to recommend Levis Rib Cage jeans which I have been recommending here a lot. ( I don't work for them). Expensive but worth it. Not elasticated but still comfy and flattering. I wear wide leg.

I hear you OP. I was an hourglass till I hit 40 then developed a huge tum. I call my shape an apple glass.

Standing front on to the mirror I still go in at the waist but side on I look huge. I also have a B belly.

I think I could have written your post OP!

I'm 44, I used to be an 8/10 in my 30's (55-60kg and 5ft 4). From late 30's, peri and then menopause has hit. I'm on HRT now. Weight has gone up 15kg (nothing to do with Covid/lockdowns as I worked in a hospital ward during all the lockdowns!!), and since starting HRT has gone up a little more (75kg when I last weighed). I've not changed my diet (it's healthy/balanced/varied, minimal processed foods) or activity levels (I do 15-20K steps a day at work as a nurse). Waist is 36inches now, fat % is high!! I've started going to gym (and seeing a PT to learn how to use the weights and equipment safely), but still no real change. Diarised my food intake for the PT to check and he has no concerns about what I eat/how much. I'm thinking of doing the Fast 800 to reset things and see if that makes a difference. I'm not diabetic....but it does concern me very much. A Women's health physio said my core muscles were very good.

I've never heard of Carys Whittaker before but wow, her outfits look lovely!! I would never have thought of pleated trousers. I live in shift dresses and leggings but I look like a bloody lollipop!!

Oh I wish I was size 14! I have a huge stomach too. 10 years ago, I was a size 14 with a tummy like you. Now I'm a size 24 and I hate it. If I could go back in time I'd tell myself to start really taking the weight seriously then. These days, I'd be over the moon with your body shape compared to mine!

Anyway, tips on hiding a stomach.

When I was slim, I used to live in jeans. Now I only wear them with a top that covers my stomach like an oversize shirt. There are some nice cord ones around at the moment. I know there's lots of advice online (and on this thread) about baggy clothes making you look bigger but honestly I don't care, I'm not putting my stomach on show!

I've started wearing dresses a lot more. Nothing with a waist. Look for shift dresses, tea dresses, swing dresses, skater dresses, A-line or empire line.

I'm really not keen on wearing tights all the time so I wear leggings when I can get away with it, or tights that really stretch and are more comfy from Snag, and chunky boots in winter.

My options for shops that stick my size are seriously limited at size 24 - at size 14 you'll have lots of options.

Are you anywhere near a John Lewis? You can get a free personal stylist session with them. I always thought that sounded fun. (They won't do it for me - it only goes up to size 18 in store I think).

I wear Levi’s 501 crop which are very similar. They’re the only style of jeans I’ve found that are small enough at the waist but roomy enough at the hips, and the rise is perfect for holding stuff in without feeling restrictive.

I am an apple but a 16/18 on top 14 bottom and have just brought two dresses as so fed up with wearing jeans and hoodies, but I found this white stuff dress and this Fat Face dress really flattering, not to everyones taste but I'm not brave enough to wear tight or body skimming clothes.

I saw this dress on someone the other day. White stuff and empire waist is usually not my thing but it looked really good.
I have just bought a basic black knit top which I buy every year and even a size up it is clinging to my belly. Will have to go back. So deeply frustrating.

That is lovely! I’ve bought a similar shape dress from Sahara London - feel great in it! I’m going to order that dress so thanks

Yes, me too! Hour glass looking straight at the mirror, but sideways on you can see the Caesarian overhang and the flabby tum.

I follow her too and I think it's angles and styling, tbh. She's there to sell you the clothes (and her Instagram as a brand), so she's got very good at taking less flattering photos and videos, then showing the 'difference' with styled clothes... but only from certain angles. Bear in mind everything is carefully chosen, even the front/side/back shots - it's literally her job. Also you can suck in and stick out a belly, as necessary. She does post videos which are more unposed and unflattering, and I love them as it shows what she probably looks like day to day.

I think she's great, it's wonderful to see a woman with a non-flat stomach wearing lovely clothes and having insecurities like everyone... but she's not doing it out of the kindness of her heart. She has 2 million followers, she's making decent money.

Yes it is angles and styling and pinning.
No substitute for trying on everything.
I was trying on aviator jackets yesterday. Made me look topheavy when I am only a 12 and a C cup.

I have a belly too. Started during peri and has remained. Problem is I am 5 foot 1.
I find it hard to find trousers without side pockets.
They just emphasis my belly and gape. Even if I buy bigger sizes. I live in jeans or walking trousers as they don't have side slant pockets
Any suggestions for pocket less smart trousers?

Yes pinning too, good point. I'm sure a lot of the oversized clothes around at the moment are pinned on models, because they never sit right on me. I've sent back so many oversized tops in the last four or five years because they swamp me, but on the model they look fine.

These tops are great for apple shapes. If I can't think what to wear I wear these with navy trousers. Women's Dark Purple Batwing Knit Jumper | Phase Eight UK |

If the way forward is to lose weight these are two things to achieve this in my humble opinion.

1 Exercise
2 Stop eating processed food

Quite a few years ago I lost 5 stone in a short time period and these 2 things helped enormously and friends and family could not believe the change in my figure.

Whilst I think, if this is a new thing for you,of course,get yourself checked at the GP....I did once read an article years ago that said we all have a "natural weight and an inherited body shape ".

I'm in my 50s, I was a fairly chubby teenager, lost a lot of weight in my 20s (but still couldn't get below an "11") sat at about a small 14 at first child, got back down to a 12 after my 2nd and have really sat at a 14 for the last 10 years or so, creeping up to the 16 I am now (and getting bigger I think 🤔). I do think I'm naturally a size 14 to 16 as that has really where my shape and body has sat for the majority of it's life, apart from the few ups and downs.

I'm a classic apple. I have thinner legs, a smaller bottom and I carry all my weight in my chest and stomach. I almost have no torso, I'm very short bodied, long legged. Black is my best friend and white is not. But i can do colour as long as its the right colour.I have the shape my mum and grandma had.

I think you just need to keep trying what works for you. I look great in skinny jeans and leggings....but wide leg and anything mom/boyfriend just makes me look 3 times my size. I don't care about fashion, I wear what suits me. Skinny jeans may have not been the thing the last couple of years but they make me feel great. Anything that show off my legs and deceive the eye away from my top part.

I do wear dresses but some can make me look pregnant if they're too smocky or gathered under the bust . I actually find more boxy things better....a boxy jumper or boxy jacket (or even a cropped jacket) messes with the eye a bit, it puts my waist a bit higher and my belly aside.

It's hard when you've lost your way with fashion....and even me, I don't feel I've lost my way....but I'm careful with a lot of self imposed rules.

Is there anyone in the media whose shape you identify with? Look at what they're wearing, what is it you like or don't like about their clothing. What stands out to you as the best dressed in your shape?

I wear anything from a 14 to a size 22. I won't be dictated to by a label. If it fits right, looks right and feels great I'm buying it regardless of the label. I have a beautiful red coat that cinches in at the waist. The size 16 made me look old and fat wearing a dressing gown, the size 22 looks fab and makes my waist look small. I have size 14 trousers that move and flow beautifully with a polo neck that is a size 20. Labels mean nothing. I advise you try everything on, I don't buy anything that I can't try on and I advise you to buy only stuff that you put on and love. Anything that I have a slightly meh about, goes straight back on the rail.

I've been there and to be brutally honest your life will be easier if you just lose it. One clothing size is not a big deal, maybe it's been built up as a lot more in your head than it really is. It's a couple of weeks to a month of dieting to save the hassle of buying a new wardrobe. I did that and- hand on heart- my life is easier and more convenient now I can just throw things in without considering my abdomen and hiding it.

Peri menopause can have a huge effect on stomach and bum. I know ...

You are lucky to have a defined waist!

The tricks I have learned:

Proper bra fitting and a set of new bras, starting with flesh-toned, then anything you like in addition.

Clothes well fitted and well defined over shoulders, bust and under bust. Not tight, but fitted.

A bit of width to your shoulders, say with angel wing sleeves, can re-emphasize your waist.

Think V-necks - not overly cleavagey, but elegant and neck-elongating. Avoid bulky rollnecks, polo necks and crew necks.

Then with skirts, as soon as the 'situation' begins - go A-line. Well cut, firm fabrics, clean line. Length will depend on your preference, height, boots/shoes, the weather ...

Avoid gathers, layers, tiers, flounces, pleats (anything bulky), and anything too tight and clingy (bias cut or jersey fabrics.)

With trousers, avoid the light bulb silhouette and stay away from tight leggings/leggings/slim fit.

Boot cut gives nice balance.

Use the same principles for dresses and tops I've outlined earlier, and go for longer length tunics that skim over the 'situation.'

(And step away from anything saggy, baggy, slouchy, oversized, camouflaging. They will create a shapeless schlumpy effect.)

Works for me, let us know!

Not for everyone, I realise, but I had an extended tummy tuck with lipo. I was a size 12 everywhere, except for my belly which was a bloated size 14/16 that made me look 5 months pregnant, permanently. Nothing worked.

It was the best money I've ever spent. I went into theatre with a saggy sack of flab and came out with a tight, trim stomach. My recovery was easier than after my c-sections and less painful. Like my surgeon said, sometimes only surgery is the answer.

I agree with all of this; great advice. And, @JFDIYOLO - where is the pictured skirt from please? I want one!

TBH the important thing to do is to try to lose weight.

It's not about vanity and how you look.
It's about your health.

Gaining weight in your 40s is harder to shift and if it's there once you hit menopause it'll be harder.

Visceral fat around the tummy is a higher risk for heart issues and also female cancers. Carry on like this with all the sugar and booze and you're heading for trouble.

Start taking care of yourself (said kindly.) A couple of months of healthy eating and breaking the sugar addiction will work wonders.

I'm similar, in that after 4 (C-section) babies, I have the classic c-section belly, as well as diastasis recti (and plenty of padding too, but it's the first two issues mentioned that makes it disproportionate). I used to hide under baggy clothes, but I agree with those saying this just adds bulk and makes you appear bigger.

There have been great tips here, but I'll add to them.... A belt! This has really changed my life, in terms of styling! I wear fine knit jumpers, tops or dresses, loose enough to skim over the problem areas, but I add a belt at my slimmest point to create definition. I've seen some women wearing them under the bust and they look great. If your stomach is lower, below your natural waist line, you can wear the belt on your waist. I wear belts with loose fitting dresses too. Especially wide belts that hold me in a bit.

I also wear fitted, but not tight tunics with leggings or tights. So they are fitted over my shoulders and bust, but skim the chubby bit. I also like fit and flare style dresses and pinafores.

Mostly though, I am trying not to mind so much. My tummy is just part of me and my story, my history, my children etc. We are all so desperate to cover them, but if none of us minded, and we didn't try so hard to hide, it would seem so much more 'normal', and not something that needed to be hidden!