A bit of a revelation. I’m not sure anyone else either notices or cares.

[honestasever]

I’ve recently lost weight (about 10% of my body weight) and had a new, different hairstyle. I’ve obviously done this for me and no-one else and generally feel better about myself.

I’m just a bit surprised that, apart from DH & DD, no-one else has noticed, or if they have, they’ve not commented.

It doesn’t matter and I’m not bothered but wondering if anyone else has experienced the same.

No 10st 8lbs down to 9st 6lbs

Hair I usually comment on if I know you well enough.

Weight I rarely do - only if I know the person well and that it'll be well received.

I recently lost a significant amount of weight, around 33% of my bodyweight. It was about 15% before people noticed who I knew well. And 25% for others. And others have noticed but not commented, and 1 checked in that there was nothing wrong (which I took in the spirit it was intended).

She meant have you lost more than a clothing size. I'd suspect not but I agree with her that going from say a size 10 to an 8 won't be noticeable to most other people.

Oh I see 😂
Some things I can no longer wear as too big.

It really doesn’t bother me, I just find it interesting.

Congratulations on making yourself feel better about yourself

I too have done the same and tbh lost a lot more and it wasn't until I started to buy new clothes did the weight loss get recognised but the strange thing was, most people didnt recognise me as big as I was in old photos, they didnt remember me being that big , these are people Im around all the time, so didnt get how much I had lost

As for the hair, well I went real drastic, comments were coming at me whether I wanted them or not :)

Tbh I think unless changes are really drastic most wouldn't realise or make comment

I don't think the OP is fixated. It's quite normal and everyday to say 'oh you're tanned, have you been on holiday', or 'have you changed your hair', or ''I've never seen that coat before' But weight is a delicate issue. And yes, maybe they haven't noticed.

I didn't say that I thought the OP is fixated. I said not everyone is fixated, ie the people the OP was expecting to comment on their weightloss didn't feel the need to comment. Personally I find it cringeworthy commenting on a person's physical attributes.

It's fraught with risk of embarrassment and saying the wrong thing, so it's best never to go there in the first place. Focus on the loveliness of the person before you, who they are not what they look like because beauty is but skin deep.

@honestasever do you regularly compliment friends' and colleagues' weight loss and hair styles? If not that explains why it's not happened to you.

However, most of us have been brought up with the 'nothing nice to say then don't say anything' which is poor advice when your friend has clearly made a huge change to their appearance. Saying nothing in that situation is one of the worst things you can do. So I understand why you might be upset and it's one of the reasons I haven't changed my hairstyle for many years, the silence would be very loud indeed.

Is there a chance they think you're too small and soundly know how to articulate it?

Yes I know what 10% is.

10% for someone very over weight could be a couple of dress sizes. For someone already slim like yourself, probably isn’t. So visually, I may not have the impact to other people, that it does to you.

But it doesn’t take anything away from your achievement. If you feel great, that’s amazing. You should be proud of yourself AND enjoy it. Even if others don’t notice.

Unless you’re very tall, 9 stone 6 is unlikely to be ‘too small’. I’m 5ft 5 and 9 stone 6 puts me bang in the middle of a healthy BMI.

Thanks again for replies and also the congratulations.

I do compliment people regularly so didn’t realise it wasn’t a thing now.

@SwiftiesVSLestat apologies for misunderstanding your post. I realise that if I was bigger 10% would constitute more dress sizes and do get your point (now)

@hollyblueivy possibly, but tbh, although it’s great to be slimmer I’m more interested in the readings I’m getting for fat/bone/muscle etc which are now ALL in the green, whereas, even at BMI 25 some were amber or bordering on red. It’s about health and longevity really

I have gone from 9 1/2 stone to 7 stone 10 in a year and friends, family and DH have all commented. I'm 54. But I have also talked about it and told people how pleased I am to have lots weight.

Weight is one of those taboo subjects, it isn't polite to dicuss someone's weight unless you're really close/family.

Hair is different, earlier this year I went from blonde to dark brunette and people did notice. Especially people who had only ever known me with lighter hair (I did it in lockdown and just carried on).

I think it's nice to tell someone they're looking great but I don't like body or weight loss comments. I know someone and see her maybe 3 times a year and every bloody time she says 'You're tiny, don't lose any more weight!' I find that really off. I just say I only lost what I had gained, this is my normal size. I actually think she's hung up on her own body and is v v thin herself but anyway, most people don't like these type of comments!

Meanwhile well done you OP, I'll bet you feel brilliant. It is surprising how we can hide a stone or two and no one else notices or cares. Not necessarily a bad thing!

I have recently lost 3 stone. At first I was deliberately trying to lose weight but then I separated from my husband and just kept on losing, perhaps due to stress or just not really keeping an eye on things.

I have been really upset by people's comments about it. I have been told by several friends that I really need to put weight back on and that my face looks really drawn.

I went from a BMI of 26 to 19.5, so I am still within my healthy range. I went from size 14 to 8 in most shops. I walk every day and feel really well. But the multiple comments about my face recently got to me so much I barely wanted to leave the house. On top of an already very stressful and difficult time it has been almost overwhelming.

It has been quite an eye opener. People never commented when I was bigger but for some reason I feel shamed by my weight now far more now that I am slimmer.

So although I know you want people to notice, I know that I will never again comment on anyone's weight now that I have felt like this.