A bit of a revelation. I’m not sure anyone else either notices or cares.

[honestasever]

I’ve recently lost weight (about 10% of my body weight) and had a new, different hairstyle. I’ve obviously done this for me and no-one else and generally feel better about myself.

I’m just a bit surprised that, apart from DH & DD, no-one else has noticed, or if they have, they’ve not commented.

It doesn’t matter and I’m not bothered but wondering if anyone else has experienced the same.

I am quite observant of how other people present themselves but even I don't notice weight so much. I think it's because in your mind you store people in a certain way, with a certain aura (not necessarily about weight) and it takes quite a lot to change that mental image.

On hair, I went progressively shorter a while ago and it was only when it had been cut into a true pixie cut that it had any impact. That was an interesting unintentional experiment. Again people have some sense of your hair (type/colour/general appearance) and you have to be radically different for people to notice. I like it because effectively people clearly just know the essence of you which doesn't change with appearance tweaks or even quite substantial changes.

One of my friends has unwisely dyed her hair blue. I have noticed as she put it on social media, but am not sure what to say as I don't like it. I could lie and say it looks great, but I am not sure it will be convincing. So I have opted to just say nothing on her social media.

I never comment on peoples weight if I notice because I would worry I would offend and they would think I thought they were fat before if I told them they look great now. Also you never know if a health problem could be causing it that they don’t want to talk about.

Having said that I’ve had people tell me they’ve lost weight and they look no different to me!

Its a tricky one.

As for the haircut, unless it’s very drastic I wouldn’t notice that either. If I don’t like someone’s haircut also I would find it hard to hide that so the compliment would sound insincere. So I just don’t say anything.

All topics like that are quite sensitive in this modern world.

As long as it has made you feel great that is all that should really matter anyway.

🤣🤣🤣 “unwisely dyed her hair blue”

This is all true.

I lost a very large amount of weight in my 40s and people did comment but only once I'd lost about 25kg, which is almost 4 stone. That's when people I worked with started asking how I was doing it and following up with compliments. People I knew socially started offering very brief comments on how I was "looking great" or whatever a bit after that, and when I got to a healthy weight from being morbidly obese a different category "switched on" and people like the lady who's worked in Aldi ever since i started shopping there about 15 years ago, and the lady who dies gardening for several neighbours started asking for my "secret" (I didn't have a secret - did intermittent fasting) 🤣

People don't notice until you've lost a really big amount because why should they? You're only the main character in your own life and playing a role (friend or whatever) in theirs and they aren't focusing on your dress size if you're their friend/ colleague/ customer or whatever. When they do notice they don't ask until they're fairly sure you're losing weight deliberately and aren't ill.

Here it's entirely probable most people haven't noticed and those who have think you're "too thin" even though you're still in the healthy weight category simply because they know what you looked like before and didn't think you needed to lose weight. Several people told me to stop losing weight when I was still obese because they thought I was already getting "too thin". It wasn't double edged nastiness or anything, the people who said it weren't people with that sort of agenda and genuinely were concerned even though it was misjudged.

my dad said I looked gaunt leading up to my wedding. I had lost weight through stress & was a lower BMI. It was just concern, I was still healthy.

I think if you were slim anyway, it’s probably just not that noticeable to others.

@TheOGCCL thats true, one of my siblings changed their hair quite dramatically & I still see them in my head with the old hair!

I never comment on weight (and i admit I am not great at noticing at anyway as my friend has gained and lost considerable weight over the years and when she says She's put on 2 stone, I really don't see it!)
New hair style I would say It looks nice but you have to be careful you're not implying hair was rubbish before!

So exactly how much is 10% of your body weight?

Because going from slim to slightly slimmer, isn’t going to be a huge amount from a visual perspective.

In my experience it's no longer socially acceptable to comment on anyone's weight.

I thought so too. However I’ve just lost 2.5 stone and loads of people have commented, even random people on the school run that I only know to say a polite hello to. I hate it! I feel so awkward. So I guess people can’t really win.

People didn't comment with me until I'd lost 3 stone and then EVERYONE commented. I think it takes a while for people to see you differently.

I only comment if someone brings it up themselves such as mentioning a fitness class etc, and I never mention their weight I usually say something like “you look very athletic”.

I avoid commenting on weight loss in case the person feels like they didn’t look well before and I was judging them for it.

I would take it as a positive that no one has commented - it’s a much better than alternative than wow you look much better/it’s a huge improvement etc.

As a younger woman, I realised how much I was thinking about my appearance and what other people thought of me. It then occurred to me that probably most of my peers were doing the same… therefore they were probably too busy thinking about themselves and how others thought of them to actually think about me….
So now, within reasonable convention, I just dress and act in a way that pleases me.
Just live your life for you and the ones you love.

I might say something about hair depending on my relationship with the person but definitely not about weight, unless they brought it up themselves and maybe not even then. I always find it awkward talking about personal stuff like that so just avoid it mostly.

I’d never comment on weight loss unless I knew they had been trying to lose it, as it could be due to an illness or treatment.

Hair I probably would, but only if I liked it 😄

I lost 1.5 stone last year. No one really mentioned it to be honest. I did it for me so I wasn’t that bothered!

I always think, at least with the hairstyle thing, if people don’t comment it probably suits you and they’re not mentioning it because you look like you SHOULD have that hair cut/ colour so what’s to discuss?

Well. Working on 10st, 10% would be a stone, taking you down to 9st.

I was 10.8 and now 9.6.

A porter at work asked me if I had had another hair cut. No, but I had washed it!!! It needs a retouch though.

My friend had hair extensions that made her hair at least 8 inches longer and I didn't notice.Some people just don't.

Good for you OP!

I made a rule to always say something nice to someone if I thought it snd always give compliments to friends. I did change my hair last year though and barely anyone commented except my family

@honestasever

I was 10.8 and now 9.6
Is that a clothing size?

Often it's not obvious to the casual observer unless you drop 2 dress sizes. Going from a 14 to a 12 or a12 to a 10 isn't noticeable to people who aren't really looking. But a 14 to a 10 is more obvious .

The hair thing is a bit weird. I would definitely tell someone I liked their hair if it was obviously different.

I think people are programmed now to not mention weight - at all, ever. It’s just not socially acceptable to mention it. I am glad of this as there have been times when I’ve lost a lot of weight due to being unwell and it’s nice not to have to explain it to anyone or face the awkwardness when people think they’re giving you a compliment and it really isn’t.