Glasses :(

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

I'm 43 and finally went for an eye-test today (I suffer from quite severe health anxiety so it was a big deal for me).
Vision in one eye is fine, vision in the other not so good (I hadn't realised until optician got me to read letters which were all a blur when good eye closed!)
I now need to wear varifocals full-time 😞
So as well from feeling dreadful as my health anxiety now "wobbling"; I didn't realise how bad my left eye is.
I have no idea what frames to go for; I've never worn glasses in my life!!
I hate getting older!!
Please could anyone lovely out there advise where to start. I can't afford a lot and of course at my age I'm really not all that bothered about my looks but don't want to look terrible!

Just try loads of different ones on at opticians until you see a style that suits you. You can often then buy cheaper online. Not sure why you wouldn't be bothered about your looks at 43! It's hardly ancient

Spend a few days noticing what sort of glasses people you know wear? To be honest there is loads of choice even in the cheap ranges, if you try on a few you soon get an idea of what size/ colour/ shape feels best. A plain black, tortoise or clear frame is always a safe option, especially if you have to wear them all day. They will try and upsell varifocals, I'd start with the mid range type at least. More expensive ones give a better field of vision but any varifocals take a few weeks of adjustment.

I'd steer clear of "blue light blocking" as they give weird reflections on camera, if you do video calls.

@tuttuttutt I guess what I mean by that is I don't worry about looking attractive/pretty any more? No need to now I guess as a) I'm married and b) Waaaaaaay past my best before date!!

Glasses wearer (varifocals) here, similar age, no way near past my sell buy date, seemingly attract others younger than me, still rock a posh frock, and vanity, yes, why not, l’m bothered about my looks. Not boasting, just don’t do yourself down.

A mirror and lots of different frames to try on is your best friend. Maybe look for offers and get very different frames. Or look for those with interchangeable coloured arms?

The only downside is that you’ll end up with a pair of “looking for your glasses” glasses in the future.

Hopefully your new glasses will give you a clearer vision about yourself and help you enjoy what can be a prime time in life. x

Glasses frames cover crows feet so I embrace them.

I can't do trendy styles though, I feel very silly with anything that hipsters would wear. And I realise my use of hipsters here makes me sound 80.

Wearing glasses isn't always associated with age though. So I'd forget that part.

I've worn them since I was in primary (worn contacts since I was 17).

I've been wearing glasses since my teens - this is my tried-and-tested approach for choosing new frames.

• look online at what's available and note down any that stand out as appealing
• try on lots of pairs at the opticians and either take selfies or get someone else to photograph you. The mirror isn't always a good guide because you're not seeing yourself with clear vision
• don't discount anything till you've tried it on - it can be surprising what suits you
• Go away and browse the photos you have taken before choosing
• take advantage of any 'two for one' offers and get two different styles - I tend to choose an 'everyday' pair and a 'special occasions' pair
• don't bother with online try-on software where you upload a photo because the scale is rarely accurate

Take your phone with you and try on lots of colours and styles in your price range photographing each one. Then look through them and see what you look better in and that will help you narrow down the choices.

I quickly realised the ones I liked don't suit my face shape or colouring so was glad the receptionist suggested the selfie idea to me.

Got different ones. Quite pleased. Took my prescription with me so I can now buy similar ones online cheaply.

Really? I’m way older than you and been married longer but I still care about how I look. A good optician will give you advice on what suits you. There are online shops where you upload a photo and try out frames, I think. You don’t have to buy but would get a good idea of what you like. When considering the cost remember you will be wearing them all day, everyday. So average out the cost.

You’re 43. Far too young to be giving up on looking good (people can look fab at any age!)
A lot of opticians offer eyewear appointments and a dispensing optician can go through the options. Maybe find an independent opticians, they often have great ranges (and not necessarily more expensive)
You need to try LOTS on. You will be surprised what suits you and what doesn’t. Go in in decent clothes and makeup (if you wear it).
OP maybe if you say your general area people can recommend nice opticians with good glasses?

When considering the cost remember you will be wearing them all day, everyday. So average out the cost.

100% - Your glasses will become part of your face, the first thing people see - so spend as much as you need to and can afford to get a pair you're happy with.

I agree with trying lots and lots of pairs on. It's only that way that you can start to work out what suits you. Either take a friend with you to give you an honest opinion or take selfies of you in each pair.

I started needing glasses when I was 30 and now wear them permanently and think I actually look better in glasses now I'm used to them. And I still look good, they don't have to be old or frumpy.

Buy better quality lenses, they are easier to adapt to, and be careful you don't fall down the stairs for the first few days 😁

Take someone with you when you pick frames, and take the advice of the staff. They are your personal shopper.

You’re 43 - I’m 43 and find your comments about age / looks baffling! 😳 I like to look fashionable, nice, I care about how I look - and you can do that at any age, but certainly 43 is young to be giving up on that!

I have really, really bad eyes - I’m -9.50 both eyes with astigmatism and due to Sjögren’s syndrome I can’t wear contacts (could this be an option for you if you don’t want glasses?) and I wear varifocals and love them. Just try on lots of frames etc. Get some you like and that fit well. Get the best quality lenses you can afford - you’ll get a better field of vision. My glasses cost £500 for the lenses but that’s because my prescription is complex (tried Asda and specsavers and don’t like their lenses).

Nothing to add on the glasses but why would you see yourself as 'past my best before date', that's horrible! Would you say that to anyone else? I'm nearly 10 years older than you and certainly don't think that.

If you're wearing them full time then worth spending some time (and potentially a few more £) getting it right. Try on loads and loads. I don't wear varifocals but I think not all frames are the right shape for that type of lenses, so make sure to take advice on this.

A good independent optician will help find frames that suit your face shape.

I've also worn glasses since primary and contacts since secondary.
I'm now on an enforced contact lens break and I like how the glasses look. It's a nice change. Only down side is condensation!

If there's a 2 for 1 offer get sunglasses !

Oh op, you took me right back to when I first had to wear glasses. I was 10 and I thought my life was over Honestly, I wouldn't be without them now. It's a mind shift and I wish I could explain how it happens but I can't.

I can't add much to the tips you've already had but I endorse trying on loads and loads of different styles and then trying some more. I do the initial trying on alone and only take a 'trusted friend' when I've whittled it down to a few frames. I don't buy online and I recommend trying to find an independent optician as they're normally less tied to specific brands.

Personally I wouldn't get too fixated on what suits you because they all look weird when you first try them on. I've worn just about every style there is and liked them all.

You can often then buy cheaper online.

Please ignore this "advice"

Varifocals need to be professionally fitted by someone who knows what they are doing.

Simple prescriptions are fine to buy online, but especially as you have never worn glasses before you need to have them properly fitted.

Little tip: Please excuse slight derail, but it might be useful, especially if you swap from prescription glasses to prescription sunglasses during the day. If you are staying in an hotel, put one of the hotel’s cards in the case, with your name on it. I left my (prescription) sunglasses in a restaurant last year and a kind person took them to the hotel reception.

Approach it like wedding dress shopping, try on everything and pay special attention to the ones you think won't suit you because they're usually the ones that suit best

Get excited, glasses are just another fashion accessory to me. Once you know what you like you can order from sites like glasses direct, firmoo etc

NGL, at 38 I'm a bit worried about your age comments 😂

Hello, I remember being daunted at first getting glasses at a similar age, but it will all be fine.
Firstly, unless there is a medical issue you've not posted about, you don't HAVE to wear glasses. I live mine, but I do sometimes not wear them.
Also, you don't HAVE to wear varifocals, I love mine, but had separate distance and reading glasses for a period.
I find going somewhere where I can just browse by myself really helpful, Specsavers and John Lewis both allow this. Then I can try on in my own timescale.
Another recommended if you're going to somewhere where you need to book an appointment is to say when booking that you want to look at frames (sets expectations without pressure).
One final suggestion, is that good varifocals lenses are expensive. I love mine and wear them all the time, but single lenses are much cheaper and you could get reading and distance as teo for one at Specsavers and this may be the cheapest option whilst you are deciding what you want and love.
Good luck

Get excited, glasses are just another fashion accessory to me. Once you know what you like you can order from sites like glasses direct, firmoo etc

Please don't do this for varifocals. The correct fit is crucial.

If they are slightly out you will feel dizzy.

I started wearing glasses in my early teens - and have now been wearing contact lenses for at least 40 years.

I’m over 60 and care very much about how I look. Which means I’ve dithered about new glasses for a few years - just as an alternative to my lenses - because I can’t make up my mind. I seem always to be on the lookout for the perfect optician with the perfect range of styles. When I do eventually get round to it I’m determined to take someone with me this time, just to avoid the post purchase regret I’ve sometimes experienced.

You’ve had good advice here. Get them in person, not online. Be prepared to spend far more than seems reasonable. Don’t cut corners, don’t try to economise: you need the best possible lenses, and your glasses are the first thing people will notice about you. So it’s important. Please forget the nonsensical idea that your appearance doesn’t matter - I cannot imagine where you picked that up …