Glasses :(

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

I'm 43 and finally went for an eye-test today (I suffer from quite severe health anxiety so it was a big deal for me).
Vision in one eye is fine, vision in the other not so good (I hadn't realised until optician got me to read letters which were all a blur when good eye closed!)
I now need to wear varifocals full-time 😞
So as well from feeling dreadful as my health anxiety now "wobbling"; I didn't realise how bad my left eye is.
I have no idea what frames to go for; I've never worn glasses in my life!!
I hate getting older!!
Please could anyone lovely out there advise where to start. I can't afford a lot and of course at my age I'm really not all that bothered about my looks but don't want to look terrible!

@Hellodarknessmyfriend
I understand.
It is an adjustment to start wearing glasses. I thought so, too.
But I can hardly imagine being without my glasses now.

There are glasses that are barely noticeable.
There are glasses that you notice a lot!
You can choose glasses in your favourite colour!
You can choose glasses that match your style of clothing.
You can choose glasses that for some reason just feel right.

Try on many pairs. Make sure they are comfortable.
You might fall for an unexpected pair of glasses.

(And I'm sure you look great.)

Again, good luck!

Health anxiety is hard but it's a bit unreasonable to say you don't want to look rubbish, just because of wearing glasses! I recommend like others have said, take your time deciding. Look around you at those who wear glasses. Focus on comfort as well as style. And enjoy the better eyesight you'll have when you get your glasses.
Consider contacts if you think glasses look rubbish.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend

And as a comparison, online for single vision glasses you can pay as little as £10 plus postage (if your prescription is not too strong or complex). Look at the sites you can type your prescription in and see what it comes out as.

So, the question is do you need varifocals? Or will single vision, separate reading and distance lenses do?

And I buy online. It is great for my needs. I have many pairs of glasses. Wear separate glasses for reading and distance.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend

And if you were managing without, I'm guessing your prescription is not particularly strong. Assuming that separate reading and distance glasses should be entirely sufficient.

@bimblingabout One eye fine, other eye definitely not!! I spoke to my SIL who strongly advises that I should go in-store as varifocals important to get right and adjustments may be needed. Entry-level lenses from £50 and can get OK frames for about £49 so £100 I can afford.

of course at my age I'm really not all that bothered about my looks

what a strange thing to say. And what does being married have anything to do with this either. Sounds like your health anxiety might stem from extremely low self esteem

If I'm being honest, I'm not sure of the point of even trying any more? I'm 43, size 14/16, greying hair... who am I kidding?!

yourself. Point in case. But you need to start respecting yourself and living again.

@Sugarlily Thank you. But I genuinely don't care any more about what I look like. I don't see it as important?

This is so sad and is worthy of a thread in itself...

Anyway. Specsavers has a thing which tells you what shape will suit your face shape best which might be a start. And of course they do two for the price of one.

❤

Thank you. But I genuinely don't care any more about what I look like. I don't see it as important? not caring what you look like is one thing. But your posts are all ‘who am I kidding’, ‘I’m a size 14/16’, ‘I have greying hair’, ‘of course I don’t care I’m 43.’ It’s as if you’re dead already not halfway through your life

Honestly, @Hellodarknessmyfriend your disparagement of yourself doesn’t sound at all healthy.

You cannot genuinely think that it would be pointless for any woman of 43 and over in the world to ever care about her appearance again?

@CharlotteStreetW1 Are other women in their 40s really bothered about what they look like? If so, what/who do they want to look attractive for? Both genuine questions.
Some of it for me is time and money - can't afford haircuts, don't bother with make-up (unecessary expense) and wear same jewellery day to day. Work ft with three kids from 4-17 and a poorly hubby.
But I'm 43, I'm past my best in reality anyway! In my 20s/30s maybe, but that was before kids and when I had a decent figure.

@WhatWillIWear But I genuinely don't understand WHY I should be bothered?

@Hellodarknessmyfriend agree if you want varifocals it's best to buy instore rather than online, because of the complexities of setting them up properly.

If you are looking for cheap/good value opticians try Specsavers or ASDA. Lots of promotions and deals.

Past your best?

I can't begin to imagine why you would feel that way. Just because you're not young any more doesn't mean you should give up on life.

You don't have to be interested in clothes or beauty but I find it shocking that someone so young thinks making a effort is pointless. You're clearly clever, doing further study & have ambition but you seem really down on yourself.

BTW I'm 43 too.

And YES....I'm in my late 50s, happily married, and it is still very important to me what I look like. Past my best I may be, but I still like to look nice. I'm not ready to disappear into a dark corner, thanks.

Both genuine questions.

I suppose I hope they are …

Though it’s sad if so.

Getting varifocals for £100 is a very big ask.

Mine cost £450 6 years ago and I had the frames reglazed 3 years ago and the lenses alone were £300 (but I have prisms, maximum range of varifocal, thinning and antiglare coating on mine). This is from an independent optician who has been bang on with my prescription.

I’ve also had great varifocals from a Tesco optician before it was taken over, not sure who made them originally, and absolute rubbish from one branch of Specsavers even though they were the most expensive varifocal range option.

Try LOADS on. I have a small head and my independent optician had loads of frames from an Italian range made for small faced adults, they’re fab.

I'm 40 and single and want to look good for myself and so I don't cringe every time I look in a mirror
Yes I'm fat but I get my hair done, exercise, wear makeup, choose nice glasses, wear perfume every day
It's like you're saying I'm not really worth it so shit stuff is good enough for me
I'm about to buy new glasses and using zilch to spread the cost over 4 months

I like to look nice for myself. I mean fair enough if you don’t care then that’s fine too, but to imply somehow it’s weird to want to look nice in your 40s or because you’re married is a really strange opinion to have!

@Hellodarknessmyfriend I’ve just got new varifocals from Asda opticians. It’s the 3rd pair I’ve had from them and have never had a problem. I have balance problems but got used to them very quickly when I got my first pair, hence why I always return.

I got a pair of glasses and a pair of sunglasses, both with Ralph Lauren frames, they cost £220 all in for both pairs. Asda have a good selection of glasses which start at about £80 including lenses iirc.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend well I agree with others and your SIL, go in for varifocals and be measured up for them.

I was just checking whether you would consider single vision glasses, that is separate pairs for reading and distance. Much cheaper, less complex to make up and some people get on with them better. Just because varifocals are available doesn't necessarily make them the best choice for you.

But I'm 43, I'm past my best in reality anyway! In my 20s/30s maybe, but that was before kids and when I had a decent figure

in starting to think this is a wind up.

I was much more put together in my 40s than at any time previously. I'd learned to do makeup that suited me and had the money to buy much nicer clothes. I still wear what I want for comfort, style, and appropriate for work, and had a makeup lesson for my last birthday (in my 50s now).

@Hellodarknessmyfriend and regarding being 'past' your 'best'. I decided to get into fitness and running at 46 and coupled with healthy eating pretty much regained the figure I had when I was a teen. Same measurements - 80s size 12 which is a current size 8. It's not too late to change anything you're unhappy about.