Glasses :(

[Hellodarknessmyfriend]

I'm 43 and finally went for an eye-test today (I suffer from quite severe health anxiety so it was a big deal for me).
Vision in one eye is fine, vision in the other not so good (I hadn't realised until optician got me to read letters which were all a blur when good eye closed!)
I now need to wear varifocals full-time 😞
So as well from feeling dreadful as my health anxiety now "wobbling"; I didn't realise how bad my left eye is.
I have no idea what frames to go for; I've never worn glasses in my life!!
I hate getting older!!
Please could anyone lovely out there advise where to start. I can't afford a lot and of course at my age I'm really not all that bothered about my looks but don't want to look terrible!

@NTmumAutisticteenagemeltdowns makes some good points. Do you need varifocals and do you need to wear them all the time? I could have varifocals but didn't want them so didn't get them. I wear my distance glasses for TV and driving, then have separate computer glasses for work. I also spend quite a lot of time wearing neither.

Of course there could well be a medical reason why you need to wear them all the time, but you didn't mention it.

I've been wearing glasses for 40+ years. I'd go to the high street such as boots/vision express or Specsavers and try on a load. Some styles will suit, some may not depending on your hair colour etc.

I've got a narrow face so usual ladies frames look stupid on me so I'm still in teens/narrow stuff at 48 😁

Get them in person, not online. Be prepared to spend far more than seems reasonable. Don’t cut corners, don’t try to economise: you need the best possible lenses, and your glasses are the first thing people will notice about you. So it’s important.

Great advice.
Also, you can get them from any optician, not necessarily where you had your eye test @Hellodarknessmyfriend

I’m 42 and I’m certainly not waaaay past MY best before date…. What an odd thing to say.

Also don’t quite understand nor wanting to look attractive just because you are married..

If you have already been for an eye test then just get the staff in the shop to show you different styles? Keep trying on until you find one you like.

Oh my good lord, you’re 43 not 103, why are you acting like you’re so old and past it?! And anyway, even if you were 103, there’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to look nice in your specs!
As for what frames to go for, try some on? That’s literally why they have them on displays in the opticians.

I got my first pair last month op and l went for a plastic pair that are the same colour as my eyes - had lots of compliments so far. Try loads of different styles on.

Do we only make ourselves look our best for the male gaze?

I think not.

Find some that you feel good in. That's all you need to think about 😊

OP, you are behind the times.

Glasses have never been so fashionable! Get onto Pinterest and check out images of fashionable people looking gorgeous in glasses. Follow Alex Stedman (alexandra.stedman) on Instagram and watch her Girls in Glasses highlight.

Go to an optician and try on lots of frames, take photos.

If you think you are going to look drab/unattractive in glasses then that is the image you will end up projecting.

@Hellodarknessmyfriend I, like a lot of the other posters have worn glasses for decades. Your health is pretty good if you've only just started needing them.

Looks wise I now prefer myself in them. Hides the wrinkles and dark shadows! 😁 (in my 50s and not 'given up on my looks' either).

Regarding where to buy, etc etc. Don't be afraid of ordering online (discounts are fantastic) but perhaps buy separate distance and reading glasses this way as I've read a lot of people find the varifocals need to be more precision fitted. So you could have more than one pair. Get the varifocals in person and order separate distance and reading glasses online. This might be a good idea as you might prefer separates reading and distance glasses since the 'viewing window' is bigger. Prescription sunglasses are good online too.

Thanks all. Tried on four pairs and looked dreadful in them all so gave up!!! Hubby was kind but I really do look shocking!
No idea how much my glasses are going to cost in reality with the varifocal lenses...please could anybody share roughly what they paid?
I'm returning to uni pt in September to do a masters so don't have much money at all to play with and my kids take priority of course.

lol. I'm 63, married for nearly 40 years and still care a lot about my appearance! Obviously I'll never look 43 or 53 or 58 again but I still want to the best looking 63 year old I can be. It boosts my mood and confidence to know I'm looking groomed and attractive.

Ask the optician for advice, they will know what suits you.

@Somepeoplearesnippy Fair play to you! My mum is 68 and still incredibly beautiful and well groomed. I have neither the time nor the money for that - work ft with three kids (youngest just turned 4!!)
I don't really go.out much (money tight) so don't dress up any more. I'm also now a 14/16 with big boobs so know I need to lose weight (must find the motivation!)
I guess glasses are the least of my worries 😆

Glasses are like men .. you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find a prince! I usually try about 20 pairs on before finding one I'm happy with.

I paid about 450 for my varifocals, this was a two-for-one offer and included extra for lens thinning on both pairs and anti-reflection coating. If your prescription is quite low you won't need the lens thinning, but the anti-reflection coating is worth it. They were the highest quality lenses below 'tailored' lenses, level 3 of 4 qualities of lens.

@Sethera Thank you. I literally don't have anything spare at the end of month once rent and bills paid, so exploring the option of possibly spreading the cost? I'm looking to spend no more than around £200 all in.

Quite a few opticians accept Klarna if that's any good for you?,

OP, do you think other people who wear glasses look "terrible", "dreadful" and "shocking"?

I have been wearing glasses since I was 17 years old, I am 37 now, and I think I look fine.

(I realise you are only referring to yourself and your experience and not to other people. I understand that it is something new to get used to [it was for me too, 20 years ago.] )

Try on more than 4 pairs.

Good luck!

You probably know this but just in case not - you can take your prescription to any optician, you don't have to get your glasses from the place you had your eye test. So shop around for the best deal and frames that suit you, and ask about payment options.

@SkaneTos Gosh no! My husband very recently started wearing glasses and he looks hot! I tell him so often 😀
I just don't see how they are going to "add" anything to my face though? I'm already unattractive!!

To add to your spending woes … It may be, @Hellodarknessmyfriend, that the acquisition of glasses prompts a yearning for a new hairstyle?

Which may suggest new make up, jewellery, clothes …

Sorry.

Perhaps you can send your older children up a few chimneys?

Glasses don't need to be dominant, I have these
https://www.specsavers.co.uk/search?term=5004530
One thing I will say is that if you have a small nose metal frames or plastic ones with adjustable nose pads are better than ones without nose pads as you'll spend your life pushing them up your nose

I just don't see how they are going to "add" anything to my face though? I'm already unattractive!!

I'm unattractive - I look at glasses as an opportunity to draw attention away from features I don't like. The right pair can be flattering. At my age, they are much better than concealer for hiding crows' feet and eye bags 😄

I think it's very sad you seem to have given up on looking good. You're 43, you're not dead.

You will def need to try on more than 4 pairs.

I think I tried on at least 30 the first time I went glasses shopping 5 years ago.

The shapes I didn't think would suit me, DH insisted I try on and fair play he was right.

Be prepared to spend a few hours looking at glasses.

Have bought loads of prescription glasses online and not had any problems.

I’ve had varifocals from Cubitts for around £325 or so; just got some varifocals from Polette that cost £142 including postage (I already had a prescription).

I never pay for extras like thinner lenses, scratch proof coating or blue light filter.

Don’t listen to any crap about “the right glasses for your face shape” (zzzzzz…) just pick pairs you like and try them on.

And “designer” frames are a swizz!

I think for a first pair of varifocals the OP is better off having them fitted properly at an optician.

@SuncreamAndIceCream If I'm being honest, I'm not sure of the point of even trying any more? I'm 43, size 14/16, greying hair... who am I kidding?!
I don't need to impress anyone and don't need to look "good" if that makes sense?
Glasses are just another thing to faff with but tbh it is going to be good to be able to see again clearly (I've been putting off the inevitable for far too long!)