Im very ugly, please help me look less ugly lol

[blackheartsgirl]

Honestly this isn’t a please feel sorry for me post 😂

I’ve had a really rough 3 years and it shows. Bereavement, numeral health problems, weight gain has me look rough as toast.

i just want to look a bit less like someone that’s a cast member if shameless (I’m not joking).

Ive already started a diet and already lost a couple of pounds. I have vitiligo and I’m completely depigmented now so I look like a ghost these days. Fake tan doesn’t really work but I’d like to try the drops.

any advice on nails? I can’t afford a salon so it would have to be a home thing.

ive just had my hair cut and I’ve dyed it myself, to get rid of all the greys.

my wardrobe is a nightmare, I find jeans uncomfortable so I just tend to wear walking trousers and a t shirt.

please help me 😂 thank you

Start with a wonderful shower gel (l'occitane oil is heavenly) and a luxurious body moisturiser.

Clip and file hands and toes nails and start with a clear polish, gently push back cuticles. You can add a colour if you're feeling confident with using the varnish but practice with the clear or blush if you're feeling nervous.

With hair, find a couple of products such as a serum for dryness or a roots volume spray to finish of your blow dry.

Face- good moisturiser and tamed eyebrows. If you want more, a good tinted moisturiser, lengthening mascara, cream blusher and tinted lip balm.

If you do tanning drops, use them in your moisturiser at night, blend well into neck and hairline with plain moisturiser and wash hands well!

With clothes, if you're most comfortable in trousers and a top, maybe start there but try tailored trousers? Marks and Spencer's have a great variety of colours, styles, material that you could try. For your tops could you try on some colour schemes to see what you like best?

Drinking plenty of water, getting some sunlight and resting when you can will definitely help with your sparkle ✨

Firstly, 'rough' doesn't mean ugly! You have had a tough time recently and it's showing, it happens to most of us at some point in life unless we are really lucky.
You just need to get back into the routine of looking after yourself. Start with inexpensive nice things, like lovely shampoo and conditioner that smells great and is tailored to your hair type. I also love Sanctuary shower oil, it's about £7 and feels/smells divine.
Your nails are quite an easy fix, some cheap multi purpose oil for your cuticles will make a massive difference. Keep them short ish and filed neatly with a coat of strengthening nail varnish and they will look smart.
If you like the look of jeans but not how they feel there are loads of smart jeggings about, they would look nice with tshirts, oversized shirts and jumpers (in this bloody weather!)
You sound like you just want to smarten up a little bit rather than totally transform your look, apologies if I am wrong about that.

Free stuff first. Eat less, move more, drink water, smile.
If money is tight shop carefully. sounds like you’re someone who will prioritise comfort so I would get some smarter trousers with stretch. Dark stretchy jeans maybe. Then pick a pallette and don’t buy anything outside those colours. Dark is more flattering if overweight.
For me mascara and blusher is the highest impact make up as a faded middle aged person.
A simple necklace can lift an outfit. eg dark jeans, navy t shirt and a silver chain.
What about shoes? What do you wear now?

Sorry you’ve had such a tough time. I’m impressed that you’re being so pro-active though.

I’ve had several months of stress that has impacted my appearance - but I’m taking great comfort in beautiful clothes and the surprise of unexpected compliments. It feels like sticking two fingers up to misfortune.

You’re obviously on the right track, though I’m concerned about possible ill effects from box dyes on your skin - might that be worth checking?

I’m certain you can wear things other than walking trousers and t shirts - but it’s hard to make effective suggestions without any knowledge of your budget, size and lifestyle.

First of all, let’s be very clear that what is inside radiates to the outside - your first post is witty in places. I’m sure you have a great sense of humour. Start by being kind to yourself.

You need to make at least an hour or so for yourself each week. I follow the “low maintenance to look high maintenance” approach, as follows:

Body - Nice shower gel, a nice perfume (the zara ones are great and a lot cheaper than designers) - have a nice shower every day.

Tan - Garnier summer body is excellent and affordable for the body. The darker one is better. I apply this once a week after a big long shower where i exfoliate my body etc - it doesn’t streak just wears off nicely. For your face, the St Moritz tan drops (about £5 in Savers) mixed with nivea face cream are excellent.

Skin - Personally I try not to mess with my skin too much. I double cleanse every night and apply a moisturiser but generally leave it alone.

Hair - When you shampoo your hair, do it twice 1 - the second wash makes all the difference. Then a small amount of conditioner so it doesn’t go greasy. Dry shampoo for inbetween wash days. A bit of texture is always good!

Brows - If you can’t tweeze your own get these waxed / threaded then get the at home tinting kit from Eyelure - it lasts forever. I do mine once maybe every 3 weeks? The kit itself I get maybe 5 months out of if you keep the lid on. Youtube tutorial it.

Lashes - I use Tatti lashes invisilash - they’re are cheaper versions available but i do these in a natural style once a week, after my big shower / tan / home blowdry. If you’ve got a bit of tan and these on you look made up with no makeup on! I use “everyday wisp” style. They last all week once you get good at them.

Nails - I use SassySaints SNS powder set. Personally find it easier than painted gel and they dry hard and last at least two weeks.

Clothes - Get on insta and find some inspo. Find a uniform for yourself to begin with - maybe 2x jeans in a cut you like, pair or smart trousers, 5 tops that go with them all and two nice wrap midi dresses. Leather jackets go with everything. Cool pair or trainers and a pair of black heeled boots.

Make yourself feel good!!

I’ve got a complete home kit for doing gel nail polish (with a UV lamp). Do you want it? I never use it. I’ll send it to you if it could cheer you up. I’ve been where you are before and it made me feel really unhappy so I’d love to help.

Hair colour is key for a pale face, get a professional hair colour treatment, if you only pay for one thing make it this. and a good cut.

Invest in a good moisturiser, Elemis is excellent and Boots for budget options, cleanse face and moisturise twice a day without fail, apply factor 50 sunblock.
Eyebrow pencil and mascara are your best friends, very soft light brown for shading brows and brown/black mascara, ideally a soft blusher too. This will only take 3 minutes a day.

Clothes wise spend a day working out what suits you colour wise and style wise, consider your lifestyle too. Create a basic daily uniform that can be dressed up/down. Buy the best quality you can afford or look on Vinted for decent quality second hand. Bin the stuff that doesnt suit or fit.

Nails should be bottom of the list, get the above right first, nail,s just keep clean nails, file and moisturise hands.

What a lovely, uplifting thread!
Similar to PPs, I find if I do my hair, it really does make the most difference. Also eyebrows to frame the face but not so much that you resemble the angry baby in the Simpsons (been there)
IT cosmetics do an excellent tinted moisturiser with SPF40 that I've used this spring/summer.
Good luck!

Please, please do not put yourself down. We all have features we are not proud of. Remember both Barbara Streisand and the utterly gorgeous Sophia Loren were told to change their nose shapes and didn't! We should not all look the same!

Use products that give you pleasure - skin care and body care. No I am not talking about £400 creams. Bugger that! I am enjoying a lovely scented showergel - from Radox! So not £££! ActuallyI am waiting for the shower to be fixed so not enjoying it at the moment!

I have to enjoy using a face cream and I rarely go for spendy things. At the moment I have a day cream from Boots Botanical range. Your cleanser should not dry your face up and do wear an SPF over your face cream.

A nice body lotion - I really like Clarins one that come with the perfume and a Liz Earle one but also like the smell of Nivea and Dove.

You might find a cc (colour corrector cream) is what you need or maybe a concealer. I am happy enough with my complexion but completely bummed out that my lashes and eyebrows have almost disappeared! So I concentrate on mascara, liner and brow pencil.

Probably a good idea to find products that give your skin a glow. They often have the word glow in their title! Use an exfoliating tonic (Ren/Pixi a few times a week or use a face wash with a clean flannel every day.

Spray perfume every day for the pleasure. Need not be expensive - I have some purse sprays from Next at £5 each! They will not frighten the horses or have people on your bus/train/in supermarket coughing their guts up!!

Clothes wise i love M&S Jeggings. Also black leggings. I prefer stretch fabric. Depending on what colours suit you, wear colourful tops. I also like 'cheery' coloured lipstick to give me a lift but it depends on your personal colour. Some people suit cool colours that would make me look ill!

Would be a hypocrite to mention nails as I have a permanent split in one of mine! However I do paint them and love Revlon or nails inc colours.

If going down the fake tan route use a mitt for the purpose or you will have yellow palms!

I have also been in a similar position. I was barely eating, looked pale, drawn, felt terrible.

I do use skincare things now, make up, wear clothes that suit me and I am happy in. I have the headspace to spend time on me and I like it.

My make up is minimal but I really like a tinted eyebrow mascara, tinted lipbalm and a blusher, those three little things are enough to make me feel instantly smart. I have also got a very light foundation I love, use a small amount of contour on my cheeks and eyeshadow and mascara for for put together days. I find I have to trim my eyebrows now! But again, this and tweezering out stray hairs is another simple thing to look and feel a bit better.

If you are comfortable in walking trousers go and try some cotton or linen ones on which have a slightly wider leg and see how you feel with those. I love tshirts and find that a quality heavier cotton one looks instantly better. Get a hair style you like and keep booking the appointments!

Short, well kept nails (cuticle oil really is good always look better than a slightly chipped varnish so if you aren't certain it will always be immaculate don't.

Beauty: other people have given better advice.
Fashion: I too find jeans uncomfortable in the summer. I wear chinos, wide leg linen trousers with drawstring waists, and loose parachute/cargo trousers. Something like these. Linen-blend trousers - Regular waist - Long - Light beige - Ladies | H&M GB (hm.com)

To smarten them up a bit, I wear linen or broderie shirts and blouses rather than tshirts.

You can find all these on a budget in M and S ( sorry, but they v good this year), H and M, Uniqlo, Tu, Next, and if you have a little more money: Cos or Massimo Dutti.

Placemarking

Increase ur fruit/veg/nuts intake- I started at Christmas and the effect its had on my skin is amazing, also lost a stone x

I have so often on S&B threads recommended subscribing to a weekly veg box that I started to bore myself.

But it really will make a difference if you’re living on packaged rubbish and takeaways. You want a diet of EV olive oil, fruit and vegetables, oily fish, eggs, nuts and seeds, herbs and spices. Pulses and legumes if they agree with you. Plus a spot of intermittent fasting. If you do this for three months you’ll not only see the difference in your face and body and fitness - you’ll probably never go back to whatever you were doing before.

Looking really clean (clothes, body, fingernails) always makes people more appealing.

Yes to being tanned

Whitening teeth changed my whole face without even wearing makeup (£450 from private dentist, and you keep the trays afterwards to do top ups yourself at about £40 a time)

Smelling good (breath mints and perfume)

Basically people who look healthy look attractive, it's in our biology to think that. If you're not healthy then doing the above list makes you look healthy

Thank you all so much, there’s such a lot of fabulous suggestions and I have made a list of things to get and some on my wish list too.

i don’t have a lot of money to spend but I appreciate some things are worth splashing a little bit for.

yes I don’t want to completely transform how I look, honestly that’s going to take a miracle 😂 but I just want to smarten up a little bit and look a little more put together (instead of sporting the hedge dragged backwards look)

so starting tomorrow I’m off to boots to buy some decent shower oil/shampoo/ body wash which will be hidden from my teenagers and look into buying some nice trousers.

im quite tall and long waisted and I’ve always struggled with buying decent length tops. I like my converse and doc martens and I’m not a heels/sandals person only if I’m out out but that’s once ina blue moon.

diet wise I’ve put on 2 stone since dh died so I’m looking to do something about that, I have kidney disease and I swapped to mostly plant based diet a few months ago but I’m awful for snacks so that’s something to work on and I’m charging up my Apple Watch tonight so I can start tracking steps again

ive lived ina dream for the past 3 years or I should say nightmare really and I’m really suffering for it

thanks again all, you’ve all really helped x

Before you spend, find out your Kibbe type.
Quiz here.

Then look at recommendations from the channel on how to wear for your type.

Sounds like you’ve gone through a lot lately OP, so give yourself credit for getting to this point. Be kind to yourself.

Chipping in to also say please focus on stuff that'll make you feel good more than if it'll make you look good. It sounds like you need a bit of tlc.
For me my weight fluctuates a lot, so I don't spend loads on clothes but will spend a fair bit on a great haircut (as I wear it every day) and accessories that make me smile. It's currently flower hair bands or clips now the sun is out - looks like I've made more effort than I have.
Body lotion to give your skin some tlc, conditioner if your hair is frazzled. M&S are another one for a big range of cheap but lovely perfumes.

What a lovely, helpful and uplifting post. That's some really simple and achievable advice.

I think beauty/attractiveness are mainly created by good health and self confidence.

Start with exercise. Weight training and yoga or pilates give you great muscle tone, posture and energy. These are attractive.

Well cut, well conditioned hair is vital and it sounds like you have that sorted.

Wear clothes that reflect your personality at its best. Slightly exaggerate your character in your clothes, to create some style and edge, whether that's sporty or dark academia or colourful arty or chic and classic. Whatever size you are, go for clothes that fit. When I am overweight, I often buy clothes that are too big or baggy. Far better to choose some with a bit of structure and shape to them, accentuating you best features.

Wear clothes that reflect your personality at its best. Slightly exaggerate your character in your clothes, to create some style and edge

I must have written about a hundred million words on S&B over the past decade and a half - and you’ve said what I’ve been trying to convey, twenty times better, in three lines.

Respect …

Personally I’d avoid shower gel and stick to soap. Better for skin and planet.

But if your teenagers or any other generous person are looking for suggestions for your next birthday or Christmas present, the most luxurious possible body ointments come from Frederic Malle. The perfumed body butter is out of this world. (And the price is on another planet.)

https://m.fredericmalle.co.uk/body-collection

Nice and luxurious moisturizing soaps are readily available, more economical and natural than chemical shower gels, and don't come in horrid plastic packaging.

Am partial to olive oil soaps myself.

Start applying hyaluronic acid before moisturiser in the morning and retinol before bed - do not use retinol in the day time as it should not be on your skin when exposed to UV rays. I've been using the superdrug Me+ range which is very affordable, and it's perked my skin right up. Using moisturiser helps, I like the Nivea ones with SPF15 in when in the UK.
Depending on your hair colour... A few highlights works absolute wonders, but have them done at different lengths to prevent obvious route regrowth.
Drinking water and avoiding sugar all helps loads too - reduces the rough, puffiness that age, tiredness and all over bleurgh seems to induce!
A huge long countryside walk with friends, preferably up some hills, also resets the rough-ometer - come rain or shine!