Im very ugly, please help me look less ugly lol

[blackheartsgirl]

Honestly this isn’t a please feel sorry for me post 😂

I’ve had a really rough 3 years and it shows. Bereavement, numeral health problems, weight gain has me look rough as toast.

i just want to look a bit less like someone that’s a cast member if shameless (I’m not joking).

Ive already started a diet and already lost a couple of pounds. I have vitiligo and I’m completely depigmented now so I look like a ghost these days. Fake tan doesn’t really work but I’d like to try the drops.

any advice on nails? I can’t afford a salon so it would have to be a home thing.

ive just had my hair cut and I’ve dyed it myself, to get rid of all the greys.

my wardrobe is a nightmare, I find jeans uncomfortable so I just tend to wear walking trousers and a t shirt.

please help me 😂 thank you

What a lovely offer 🥰

Sorry to hear about your crappy time op, especially your dh's death.

Get yourself as active as possible. It's the right time of year for regular, short walks to get your steps up. So good for physical and mental health.

Also look after your feet, even if unseen.
I put either footcream or whatever cream needs using up on my feet after my bath or shower and then socks for the evening. Somtimes Vicks on the nails.
I file off the dead skin from time to time as well.
I notice the difference in the look and feel if I don't look after them.

Happy this thread is helping, @blackheartsgirl . Just wanted to say -

you can keep the converse and Dr martens but make sure they are clean (Cons white bits clean up really well with cream cleanser, and they can go through a light wash in a pillowcase ).

Again, walking trousers aren't that bad, but you'll look smarter if you find a similar cut in a non walking fabric that dont have mud on them from actual walking. As other posters have said, good cut high quality tees make a huge difference.

I'm also tall and long in the body and have always struggled with finding tops in the right length (slightly easier when I was slim but very difficult as I got heavier) dresses are my answer. It's easy as you don't have to coordinate top and bottom, find a few nice flowy dresses, a jacket and some sandals or trainers. Dresses also naturally make me feel better.

I would also say take time with your face routine, even if you're just using moisturizer put it on damp skin and spend a minute or two gently but firmly rubbing it in. I've used tanning drops before, I think tan luxe which were good but there's loads of options. One tip, start with one drop before experiment going for more. And wash your hands after!

Ooo, love a nice soap. L'Occitaine milk shea butter one for me. I stopped using showergels years ago any my skin became less dry with soap. Also they last forever!

And nothing wrong with Converse or DMs. I wear a pale grey pair of hi tops to the office! As a PP said, just keep them clean. (And off I go to give mine a wipe! )

ohh I missed this, what a really kind offer thank you

What a lovely helpful thread. Some good ideas here @blackheartsgirl
I'm sure, with a bit of selfcare, and a wardrobe update, you will look, and feel great, very soon.

Condolences on the loss of your husband.

I think a face oil really helps mature skin

I'm 43 and I've started to notice dryness when I use SPF regularly

Doesn't have to be expensive, I just put a few drops on my fingers and pat on my face and neck before moisturiser morning and evening and it's definitely helping my skin be softer.

I use Pears soap in the shower, I try to avoid single use plastic these days and the smell is just pure nostalgia! I love it.

Ok.

so went to Boots earlier and this is what I got. I had quite a few points on my advantage card so used those to help buy

I got isle of paradise tanning drops for face and body
Nivea soft moisture cream
Nivea advanced anti age cream with spf 30
some nail polish
cuticle oil
sanctuary shower oil
and mascara and brow pencil.

im going to have a nice shower in a bit and try everything out

I looked for the clarins and l’occitaine shower oil but couldn’t find it in my boots.

found my Apple Watch and will go out for a short walk after tea and I’m trying to watch what I eat now, I’ve made a nice egg salad to eat before I go to work this afternoon.

next step.. pluck up the courage to get a decent hair style and some highlights/lowlights🤷‍♀️🙈. I’ve not had my hair professionally coloured in ten years. It’s a normal dark brown box die and it looks awful. My daughter took a photo of me and I looked sixty and not a nice sixty either. (My mum always looked fabulous in her 60s, I’m 47.

time to change.

If trousers and t-shirts are what you find yourself wearing, lean into it and get some nice ones in heavy weight fabric in a style that suits you.

With the right shoes and accessories hese basics could be styled to look sporty, or minimalist chic, or outdoorsy in a Monty Don sort of way, depending on your personality 😁

Sounds like you have had such a tough time. Good on you for deciding to take steps to address an aspect of your current life that is making you feel down.

I agree with others that a good haircut and colour plus good eyebrows will immediately make you look and feel better put together.

My suggestion is to address skincare. It doesn’t have to be expensive - I am a huge fan of The Ordinary range because it’s very effective despite its relatively low price point.

Three items from there will make a big difference: hylauranic acid which you put on underneath your moisturiser every morning. Their retinol in Squarline (start at the lowest active amount as you should build up) which you put on every night after cleansing throughly. And once a week use their AHA 30% and BHA 2% peeling solution. That last one sounds scary but isn’t a harsh peel and makes a world of difference.

Good luck, OP!

As our skin ages, darker hair colour really does us no favours. Think about going 3 or 4 shades lighter.

Hi op.Easy style update ideas:
A long dress , trainers and a relaxed black blazer
2good white and black t shirts, 1 printed -I got mine from weekend but H&M are cheaper.V neck if big boobs.
Some soft boyfriend jeans.
You can get all this in M&S and mix and matched will make you feel put together and comfortable.
Sainsburys for bras but get measured in bravissimo!

Lashes! Lashes Lashes Lashes!

I used to get mine done in a salon but now do them myself with the glue mascara and stick on individuals under the lash (Sooo much cheaper and look fantastic if I do say so myself) 😉

Trust me they make such a difference and I can't go without them else I look like a Pug 🤣

I don't wear any makeup at all, just the Lashes and they last at least about 5 days before you need to re-apply them 😊

If you have instagram/Facebook, can I recommend the style me happy group? It's linked to a styling business but you don't have to purchase anything to join and there are some great clothing, make up and hair tips from lots of people which might give you some inspiration. If you wanted to, I think it's about £35 to have "your best colours" assessed and it's amazing the difference wearing the right colours for your skin tone can do for you. It can really brighten your skin and features. It's one of those things that makes you feel great and feeling great always makes me look better I think, as the confidence shines through

Stop dying your hair !
I'm serious. Let your natural silvers shine through

You do not need to be tanned. Garnier Summer Body or similar can look nice but it’s not essential.

Exercise I think is a good start so yoga or swimming or exercise classes. Then streamline your diet. Try to eat less sugar and carbs, more protein and fruit and veg.

I’d get a couple of new outfits to start with not loads, plus nice preferably trendy trainers and/or shoes/sandals. Separates are good but you could try side striped trousers and jeans with stretch (barrel leg) then add a couple of tops.

I use brown box die on my hair, one thing I have noticed as I have turned 40 and started to get more greys is that it is far better to get a colour a couple of shades lighter than my natural hair.
It makes the greys look like highlights and the rest of my hair is much brighter but not lighter if that makes sense.
Hope you enjoyed your shower with all of your lovely new products.

I think dresses tend to pull someone together. Mountain Warehouse of all places do a great range of comfortable, casual dresses which are almost always on sale for around £20 each. Paired with a silky slip to stop any cling and some cyclingesque shorts underneath if you are uncomfortable with dresses in general I think you'll feel much more pulled together and the step away from jeans might be just what you need to shake up your style.

I’ve also had a difficult few years. Not as difficult as the OP and I’m finding this thread so useful.

I’ve just dyed my eye brows and my goodness what a difference. I usual have to use an eye brow pencil everyday and I think I can get away without doing it.

Thank you everyone.

@blackheartsgirl I'm so sorry you've had such a awful time.
I hope things improve, you're so young!
There are tons of clothing suggestions on the fat girl summer thread, lots of the posters are quite quirky and everyone is lovely and supportive if you fancy a read for clothing suggestions. We've had women of all shapes and sizes, from size 10 upwards join in and it's so welcoming and friendly.

I wasn't well myself this last couple of years and I'm starting to get my health back and make the most of myself whilst I appreciate now how lucky I am to feel physically better. If you ever fancy a wee chat I'm always around.

The poster who offered the nail lamp is so lovely, see, for a bunch of hateful vipers, mumsnetters really are very lovely on the whole 😁

Sending you one of those great big hugs and telling you that in my opinion we might not feel the best about ourselves but we all, even those poster who will shout at me for saying this, all have lovely qualities, it's just hard to find them when our confidence is so low.

I hope you enjoy your new glow up products and have some joy on this wee journey you're on and again, lots of love and support. 💐💖

I think tall and long waisted can be a bit of a boon for clothing. High waisted trousers will look great.
If you want cheaper clothes, go on Vinted and look for tops by Long Tall Sally.
Another way to look significantly better and younger is to know what colours you suit. What colour is your natural hair and skin tone?

You’ve had some great advice on here already. I would say to try to do one thing of self care every day, so maybe one day is washing and blow drying your hair, the next day maybe file and paint your nails. I use a rimmel clear polish that’s pink tinted so gives your nails a nice healthy glow. It’s only around £3-4 too.

I’ve recently started double cleaning my face every night, using an oil based cleaner for the first cleanse and a cream cleanser for the second. I’ve seen a massive difference already.

If you don’t like heavy make up, try a tinted moisturiser just to give you a smoothing effect and a bit of a glow.

If money is tight, give vinted a go - look at sellers reviews and go for items described as new or very good condition - you can get some real bargains on there. Tesco have some lovely trousers in their range and I believe they are having a 25% off event this week if you have a clubcard.

If you do go to a salon for your colour and you want some highlights I would recommend a balayage which is lower maintenance than having the highlights right up to your root. My daughter has a balayage and can go 3-4 months without needing it redoing.

Stick with the converse and docs if that’s what you feel comfortable with - they look really nice with wide leg trousers for spring/summer and I wear mine in autumn/winter with some leather look leggings which again are really comfortable but look a bit more put together than standard leggings.

The good haircut is key.
Get the highlights if you wish, then you touch up the roots yourself just the roots. Ask the hairdresser which color of box dye to use for that.
Check the price of everything at the hairdresser first.

I use the Pantene conditioners because they give the best body and shine. I also use a Babybliss Big Hair rotating hotbrush after blasting with hair dryer. Gives body, volume but also smoothes the frizziness and lasts a few days.
Get a satin pillowcase as that keeps your hair smooth. Get the pink ones as they stain easily. Also very cool on the face in hot nights.