"Out out" clothes for the middle aged (but young at heart!)

[parttimeweddingplanner]

I'm going on a hen night with my old pals from many years ago, in three weeks time.

It's a weekend away (in the UK) and the Saturday night is dinner, then pub, then a club till late.

I've not been "out - out" in years!

My social life these days is (occasional!) pubs, restaurants, and friends houses. I honestly can't remember the last time I set foot in a club or went dancing!

What do people even wear these days?

Does anyone here still go clubbing? What do you wear?

The club looks pretty cool. Eclectic, not aimed at 20 something's, definite focus on fun and dancing the night away.

I should probably I'm pretty large these days!

Any tips gratefully received, I'm totally at sea here!

Does the club have a dress code? I'd be wearing trainers but that never used to be allowed last time I went to a club!

Oh look, another ‘middle aged, but …’ thread.

It’s a complete mystery to me why so many, many, many middle aged women are so very anxious to distance themselves, in looks, attitude or whatever, from every other middle aged woman on the planet. ‘I’m not like all the others!’

It’s not stylish.

And no amount of beauty advice will negate such deeply held misogyny.

Sorry, @parttimeweddingplanner - yours isn’t the worst instance - just a personal tipping point. It is so, so depressing to read the same words here every day - I may be 40 / 50 / 60 but please don’t lump me in with all those hideous old crones who just accidentally share a generation with me. I’m nothing like them!

Sorry if I've touched a nerve, but being young at heart isn't an exclusive club!

I'm absolutely not trying to distance myself from other middle aged women, and I'm definitely embracing my crone years!

This "I may be 40 / 50 / 60 but please don’t lump me in with all those hideous old crones who just accidentally share a generation with me. I’m nothing like them!"

Is absolutely not what I'm saying!!

No, no dress code. It's more of an anything-goes, creative place I think.

I'm 54 and this is what I wore last time I went clubbing. It was a disco for grown ups type event so lots of people our age out to have fun. Enjoy OP. Wear what you feel good in but would recommend docs or trainers for dancing in.

I love this 🥰

Yes, definitely trainers or DMs, can't be doing with heels these days!

I love jumpsuits too, but worry I'm a bit too round for jumpsuits or playsuits. I'm a size 22, and carry most of my weight in my gut.

Ooh, is it a jacket not a playsuit?

I thought it was a sparkly playsuit but maybe it isn't?

Looks fab either way!!

It's a sparkly playsuit, I think covers a multitude of sins tbh and very comfortable to wear.

I didn't read the OP as saying that she wasn't like other middle-aged women, more what the heck do middle-aged women who like dancing and clubbing wear? I mean not all middle-aged women do that, so it's fine to ask.

OP, if I was going out clubbing this weekend, I'd probably wear a shortish black dress, but with long sleeves/chiffony look, I like my legs and would show those off so similar to the jumpsuit above but in dress form, then trainers or chunky boots, which makes it look more stylish than heels these days (I'm not having the heel debate on here, yes, some young people do occasionally wear heels, but in general, if you are a certain age and wore heels endlessly, then they do date you unless you make a huge effort to wear very on trend stuff, and I say that as a heel lover).

I’m similar age and size to you OP, and wouldn’t rule out a jumpsuit in a soft jersey type material. This is nice I think - I’d need a bit of arm cover up (until I’d had a few drinks anyway).

https://www.marksandspencer.com/jersey-sleeveless-cropped-wide-leg-jumpsuit/p/clp22582915#intid=pid_pg1pip32g4r5c4%7Cprodflag_Online%20Only

I didnt read OP's post as being anything against middle-aged women, just that she hasnt been clubbing in a while! Not sure why anyone would think otherwise.

OP I love a jumpsuit - they look modern but are comfy and can be dressed up or down although maybe allow a little extra time for loo breaks!

The OP hasn't said anything like that.

I also love adding bling through jewellery, so dangly sparkly earrings and some bracelets if you have a jumpsuit, or necklace on dress- this way you look like you have made an effort without having to place blingy clothes at short notice- you can probably get some next day delivery or pop into the shops, I love drop earrings and two or three bracelets at once (it's like layering for jewellery!)

Next & Mango are my go-to high street stores. Let us know what you picked!

Then why bother adding the "but young at heart" bit?

May be to avoid posters assuming she wants to go clubbing in Per Una and footgloves. People do make assumptions. M&S's designers did for years. They were young so they thought we wanted patterned polyester sacks.

I'm a pensioner so barely middle aged any more and I detest the phrase, 'young at heart' and also know exactly what @Wordless means about the 'but'. I think it's a shame if you can't see it, op.

Anyway to answer question, kind of, I actually think you're worrying about the wrong thing if you don't mind me saying so. I've no idea what I'd wear now if I were going straight to a club and nowhere else, but it looks to me as if most of this night is going to be spent in a restaurant and pub. Provided the evening goes well, no-one will care what you're wearing by the time you get to the club and neither, hopefully will you.

So I'd focus instead on a knockout outfit for the restaurant and pub, but make sure shoes are dancing appropriate and also think about whether you can get away without a coat, because I assume club cloakrooms are still a nightmare. I also wouldn't wear anything I couldn't replace easily because there's every chance it'll end up covered in booze, if not lost. Have a lovely time.

I hate the phrase "young at heart"

So far as the sort of suggestions a person who thinks they are "young at heart" might make to another person who thinks they are "young at heart" I might be wrong but I suspect they might be the sort of kooky/ wacky/ look at me I'm mad clothes which neither the genuine young nor the stylish old would touch with a bargepole.

I would probably wear silky wide legged trousers, a vest top, jacket and trainers, and take the jacket off if I wanted to dance. Either a plain cotton vest with a smarter jacket, or a dressier sleeveless top with a denim jacket.

Wow what a nasty comment.

Please ask yourself how helpful was your comment, who does it benefit?

Personally I think being mean and judgemental is far worse than being 'young at heart/kooky'.

I have to say I do hate those big silk scarves older women wear usually with wide leg trousers and a jacket. I think it looks very aging

I'd probably wear a fitted top, ending at the waist, a pretty full skirt (chiffon or tulle), wedges and a cross body bag. Wear what you want, I like having a piece I love, other people tend to notice beautiful/unusual things positively.

I wouldn't wear silky wide leg trousers (unless they were very cropped) in a busy pub or club. They'll be soaking up every drop of booze spilled!