"Out out" clothes for the middle aged (but young at heart!)

[parttimeweddingplanner]

I'm going on a hen night with my old pals from many years ago, in three weeks time.

It's a weekend away (in the UK) and the Saturday night is dinner, then pub, then a club till late.

I've not been "out - out" in years!

My social life these days is (occasional!) pubs, restaurants, and friends houses. I honestly can't remember the last time I set foot in a club or went dancing!

What do people even wear these days?

Does anyone here still go clubbing? What do you wear?

The club looks pretty cool. Eclectic, not aimed at 20 something's, definite focus on fun and dancing the night away.

I should probably I'm pretty large these days!

Any tips gratefully received, I'm totally at sea here!

Did any of you who are criticizing the OP think that maybe just maybe, it was just a comment, and the OP didn't mean anything by it! She is just asking what to wear to go out, that's all! For what's it's worth, OP jumpsuits look great on most sizes, and you can wear trainers and dance the night away. Have fun!

I think it’s ok for the op to say ‘Young at heart.’ It sounds like she just wants to look nice and enjoy herself.

Did any of you who are criticizing the OP think that maybe just maybe, it was just a comment, and the OP didn't mean anything by it!

Look, it’s probably for another thread - but I’m old enough to have grown up in a time when people would use phrases like:

A [something] in the woodpile

‘not meaning anything by it’. Except it did mean something to me. Every Frigging Time.

Every single time a middle aged woman seeks to distinguish herself, descriptively, from other middle aged women, by claiming to be the ‘young at heart’ exception - it labels all the other middle aged women in existence as miserable, style free, decrepit fun suckers who live in Damart and probably haven’t had a night out this century. And it happens on at least one thread every day here.

And I'm fed up of the ageism on here. I agree with @Wordless.

I didn't use the phrase 'young at heart' so not sure why you are quoting me.

I have never been aware of this being an issue. I must be hitting the correct sweet spot of intercepting enough alcohol before it hits the floor and my trousers not to notice.

Nobody said anything about being young at heart or not being like the others! Has everyone been on the gin?

It’s in the title!

YYY to this!

I'm 55. I usually wear either jeans/leather leggings, converse, and a nice top. Sometimes silk cargos with a vest/racer back top and trainers. In summer I might wear a short dress with trainers. I always err on the casual side as I have a horror of looking like I'm an old woman who's made loads of effort because I never normally go out or I'm hoping to pull!😂

I quoted your post justifying the expression as being necessary. Your point was that without saying "young at heart" the suggestions would be horrible stuff which you said Per Una designers push at older women.

Describing oneself as 'young at heart' is nothing to do with other middle aged women and trying to distinguish oneself from them. All it means is that you enjoy activities and like fashions that are primarily enjoyed by and targeted to a younger demographic than yourself.
Its not a statement of superiority, its just a fact about yourself. Adults who enjoy Disney often describe themselves as young at heart, referencing their pleasure in things aimed at children, for example.

@wordless have a word with yourself. Your own insecurities are being projected massively here, op said nothing wrong.
Op, if I was you, I’d wear something I feel fabulous in, and fuck “fashion”. We are all different, so whatever it is that makes YOU feel good, wear that! For me, I’ve got a years old jumpsuit that I wear with my favourite heels (and yes, I still love heels and no, I give no fucks that randoms on here say they are “passe”. I would no more go for a night out in trainers than I would in a nightie. And I’m not alone. Go out out in London on a weekend - heels everywhere!)
Ive got a couple of uber flattering wrap dresses I bought from Never Fully Dressed and I’ve just bought a couple of really nice dresses, incredibly reasonably priced, from Apricot clothing. I’m mid 40s and I am happy to wear what I feel good in. Find something you feel good in and wear that would be my advice xx

Why so it is @TorturedPoets24

Studies have shown that being young at heart is good for you

Ermmm, I wasn't going to comment again but did posters actually read what @Wordless said?

She was describing how she used to regularly hear a vile racist expression that yes, in its time was also widely defended as meaning no harm. Any chance of taking a few seconds just to think about how that must have made her feel before telling her to have a word with herself and accuse her of projecting?

I'm out of this thread now. Hope you have a lovely time op and seriously don't worry about the club - it's not Studio 54 and no-one will care.

She was describing how she used to regularly hear a vile racist expression
But what the heck has that got to do with someone looking for an outfit to go to a club in?

I love a play suit/jump suit but they’re a pain when you need the bathroom.

A nice maxi dress might be good and you can wear a little crop jacket over the top if you want to.

OK, this thread has taken an unexpected turn!

While I totally get the pressure on women to look younger - botox, make-up, surgery etc, and the ageism present in our society, I'm still not convinced that "young at heart" has any relationship to sexist attitudes as it's a sex-neutral phrase, just as appropriate for men as for women. It's about an attitude, not to do with trying to look younger.

There are women and men of all ages who are young at heart, and, conversly, those who are "old souls". My eldest for example, has an old head on young shoulders, and has found other DC easier to make friends with, the older they all get.

FWIW, I'm not sure I think of myself as particularly young at heart in general, but in relation to this thread, I wanted to emphasise that the place we're going to isn't in the least bit sophisticated. I'm not looking for an outfit that's very polished, I'm aiming for fun and playful. I would say the same phrasing would also be appropriate for any men who were coming, if it wasn't a hen do!

Am I missing something here? How is 'young at heart' particularly to do with women?

It's not OP, it all got really wierd. I totally got what you were saying and hope you have a lovely fun evening 😊

Which city are you going out in? Some have more of a dressing up vibe than others. Liverpool, for example, is pretty glam, whereas I once went clubbing in Brighton in a cosy jumper cos it was chilly out.

I’m a size 20 and my current fav staple is Tesco wide leg plisse trousers which look kind of dressy without being restrictive and a slightly cropped tshirt / vest. Until I bought these trousers I lived in the stereotypical black jeans / nice top uniform.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/5082292-to-ask-if-you-feel-that-you-have-an-inner-child

and, conversly, those who are "old souls" indeed - as seen on the thread linked

I wore a plain strappy maxi in black and trainers. It had a little cling so not sack-like, easy to dance in, looked cool but low effort.
I hadn't been clubbing for 25 years..😉

@poster22445 lol at the Anti-skincare snobbery. I notice that on MN and among my friends. They are so proud to age gracefully and not use any skincare / sun protection.

Wow, what a thread!
Can't believe what I have just read to be honest, all because the OP dared to ask for outfit advice for a night clubbing! Advice which she barely received inbetween all the vitriol.
For what its worth I've always been described as an old soul, I was 5 the first time it was mentioned. Isn't young at heart just the opposite of that? What should OP have said to describe how she feels/what her sense of style is?
I assumed it meant she would be more likely to shop in H&M, ASOS or Zara rather than Damart, Bonmarche or Cotton Traders.
It isn't a judgement against people that do shop there, it's just not a style she would be interested in so wouldn't be worth suggesting outfits from that type of retailer.