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Original poster

When will I feel right to let my grey grow through?

115 replies

Tolkienista · 17/05/2024 18:47

I'm 65.....66 in August.
I've got great hair, thick and so easy to manage........ literally wash and go, don't even need to blow dry it.
However, like many women in their 60s, I prefer to have it professionally coloured at a hair salon. I do eke it out, today's colour was after 12 weeks, I do my own root touch ups at home.

Here's the thing.I washed my hair last night to get rid of all the touch up colour, hair products etc and studied the grey around my face and hairline.....it honestly wasn't doing it for me hated looking at it and how it made me feel, could not see myself with that grey all over my head.

Fast forward to 2 o'clock today.and I sprang out of the hairdressers like a new woman, my hair freshly cut & coloured ready to face the world.
Am I deluding myself with hiding behind coloured hair in my 60s, or should I just accept my real hair colour and keep it real?

I'd love to hear others thoughts.

OP posts:
Nanof8 · 18/05/2024 18:17

I'm 65 and have about 10% silver, mostly around my face. I haven't dyed it for about a year, but I will be dying it soon for the summer. I usually go for pinks, purples, and blues.
My mom is 83 and has never dyed her hair and has no silver at all, just lovely dark brown hair.
My grandma was fully white by the time she was 70.

ChickyBricky · 18/05/2024 18:27

@Nanof8
I usually go for pinks, purples, and blues.

Respect 🤩🥰😍

Sounds a lot more funky than a blue rinse!

trickotreat · 18/05/2024 22:35

It looks fairly rubbish as it's growing out but once fully grown out, grey tones in hair can look incredibly chic. Far more elegant and stunning than almost all fake colour jobs.

GreyRooted · 18/05/2024 23:47

My grey is bloody fantastic (which is a good job because I’m allergic to dyes now)..and it hasn’t aged me - I just look my actual age. I’ve had more compliments on my colour than I ever did when I was dark. BUT, I am lucky because my hair is shiny, smooth and properly silver.

If you’re happy with your colour and it makes you feel good OP, just stick with it. Who says you have to go grey?

Runnerinthenight · 19/05/2024 02:37

GreyRooted · 18/05/2024 23:47

My grey is bloody fantastic (which is a good job because I’m allergic to dyes now)..and it hasn’t aged me - I just look my actual age. I’ve had more compliments on my colour than I ever did when I was dark. BUT, I am lucky because my hair is shiny, smooth and properly silver.

If you’re happy with your colour and it makes you feel good OP, just stick with it. Who says you have to go grey?

So do I not look my age because my hair has failed to go grey thus far??

Mountainash · 19/05/2024 02:42

My is naturally poker straight. The waves you see are from the scrunchies I used to put up my hair.

PurpleWhiteGreen123 · 19/05/2024 04:44

My mum stopped dyeing during COVID so she was about 68. She has a toner put on it though.

I stopped dyeing at about the age of 35. Greying early is a family trait. It's only in the front of my head at the moment. I think I look my age, and I'm fine with that.

GreyRooted · 19/05/2024 08:10

Runnerinthenight · 19/05/2024 02:37

So do I not look my age because my hair has failed to go grey thus far??

Show quote history

I have no idea. My comment was in response to those who insist grey hair automatically makes you look older.

jeaux90 · 19/05/2024 16:01

My grey is fantastic as it's striped with different tones, from white to taupe people ask me where I get it coloured Grin

You just don't know what it's going to be like until you let it grow out though, it's a tough decision.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 21/05/2024 07:59

I love my grey hair and I get loads of compliments on it, much more than on my old natural coloured colour! When I grew the dye out I always thought that if I didn't like it I could colour it again.

cardibach · 22/05/2024 13:34

SabreIsMyFave · 18/05/2024 11:26

Yes to this. I saw two women on The Chase the other week. One was 58 and one was 59. The 59 y.o. woman had shoulder length blonde hair, and the 58 y.o. woman also had shoulder length hair - but grey. The woman who was grey haired looked about 12 years older than the other (blonde) women. The woman with blonde hair looked about 53-54 and the one with grey hair looked about 65. Yet there was a YEAR between them.

As a previous poster said there's a few women who can get away with a short funky haircut, with grey/white hair, but the vast majority of women simply cannot get away with that short choppy hair. Grey hair is ageing and as a pp said, long grey hair looks awful on most women. Helen Mirren looked 12-13 years older with the long grey hair, than she did with the short choppy look.

As has been said, men get judged for dying their hair as well. MORE than women IMO. My friend's husband started going grey at around 40 and after three or four years he dyed it back to his mid-brown colour. He got laughed out of the factory he worked at! And also when he was buying the hair dye, the woman at the checkout looked him and pointed at him and said 'is this for you?' and started grinning. So rude! He was so embarrassed and humiliated. Nobody would have ever said this to a woman.

I haven't got very much grey hair. That's why it's quite easy to dye mine. But even if I was completely grey, there's no way that I would NOT dye it. I know I'm not gonna look 15 years younger dying it blonde, (I'm not deluded!) but I've got no desire to look older - and I would look 10 years older with grey hair,

I know. a couple of women (who I had always known as having brown hair, both the same age as me,) and they went grey over lockdown. It aged them by 10 years. Yes, it really did. Unsurprisingly they went brown again after quite a few comments from people about how it looks better brown. (I said nothing. I thought it but never said anything.)

Also, there are no 'mean spirited' horrible spiteful comments on here. They're just opinions. Comments aren't 'mean spirited' and spiteful and horrible, just because you don't like them. They're just people's opinions.

Have to say also, it's so refreshing to see a thread that is not celebrating 'embracing the grey,' and is saying women should dye their hair if they wish, and it's refreshing to see a lot of posters saying they DO dye their hair and will never stop, and will never go grey! I hate the 'embrace the grey' type threads that try to make women feel like shit if they dye their hair, like they're doing something wrong!

Show quote history

Do you honestly believe the only thing altering your perception of the age of these women was their hair colour? That’s mad. Not skin condition? Style of hair/clothes? Make up? Attitude?

NigelHarmansNewWife · 22/05/2024 16:16

Helen Mirren is, guess what, older than last time she was doing extensive publicity for something she's in. The longer hair she has currently, imho - and frankly the only opinion that matters is her own - isn't as flattering as when she's worn it shorter. I don't think the colour is a factor at all as she was practically platinum blonde for years.

This "grey hair ages women" tripe is because grey is associated with ageing, not because it is the one thing that makes a woman look older.

I have a friend who has a twin sister. Friend has naturally white hair. Sister dyes hers brown. Does the sister look younger or my friend look older? No: they look the same age. When they are together it just makes it obvious the sister colours her hair.

SabreIsMyFave · 22/05/2024 16:20

NigelHarmansNewWife · 22/05/2024 16:16

Helen Mirren is, guess what, older than last time she was doing extensive publicity for something she's in. The longer hair she has currently, imho - and frankly the only opinion that matters is her own - isn't as flattering as when she's worn it shorter. I don't think the colour is a factor at all as she was practically platinum blonde for years.

This "grey hair ages women" tripe is because grey is associated with ageing, not because it is the one thing that makes a woman look older.

I have a friend who has a twin sister. Friend has naturally white hair. Sister dyes hers brown. Does the sister look younger or my friend look older? No: they look the same age. When they are together it just makes it obvious the sister colours her hair.

I'll bet my house that the sister who dyes her hair (and doesn't 'embrace the grey') looks younger than her silver/white haired twin. Wink

NigelHarmansNewWife · 22/05/2024 18:33

I'll bet your house and mine you're wrong

MissDianaBarry · 22/05/2024 19:48

It isn't the hair colour that makes people look older it is the hair cut. It is also body shape and overall fitness. Being unhappy, carrying too much weight makes you look older. Someone mentioned Helen Mirren who at 78 has the physique of a much younger woman (clearly works hard at it) - it's not about hair.

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