When will I feel right to let my grey grow through?

[Tolkienista]

I'm 65.....66 in August.
I've got great hair, thick and so easy to manage........ literally wash and go, don't even need to blow dry it.
However, like many women in their 60s, I prefer to have it professionally coloured at a hair salon. I do eke it out, today's colour was after 12 weeks, I do my own root touch ups at home.

Here's the thing.I washed my hair last night to get rid of all the touch up colour, hair products etc and studied the grey around my face and hairline.....it honestly wasn't doing it for me hated looking at it and how it made me feel, could not see myself with that grey all over my head.

Fast forward to 2 o'clock today.and I sprang out of the hairdressers like a new woman, my hair freshly cut & coloured ready to face the world.
Am I deluding myself with hiding behind coloured hair in my 60s, or should I just accept my real hair colour and keep it real?

I'd love to hear others thoughts.

Yes to this. I saw two women on The Chase the other week. One was 58 and one was 59. The 59 y.o. woman had shoulder length blonde hair, and the 58 y.o. woman also had shoulder length hair - but grey. The woman who was grey haired looked about 12 years older than the other (blonde) women. The woman with blonde hair looked about 53-54 and the one with grey hair looked about 65. Yet there was a YEAR between them.

As a previous poster said there's a few women who can get away with a short funky haircut, with grey/white hair, but the vast majority of women simply cannot get away with that short choppy hair. Grey hair is ageing and as a pp said, long grey hair looks awful on most women. Helen Mirren looked 12-13 years older with the long grey hair, than she did with the short choppy look.

As has been said, men get judged for dying their hair as well. MORE than women IMO. My friend's husband started going grey at around 40 and after three or four years he dyed it back to his mid-brown colour. He got laughed out of the factory he worked at! And also when he was buying the hair dye, the woman at the checkout looked him and pointed at him and said 'is this for you?' and started grinning. So rude! He was so embarrassed and humiliated. Nobody would have ever said this to a woman.

I haven't got very much grey hair. That's why it's quite easy to dye mine. But even if I was completely grey, there's no way that I would NOT dye it. I know I'm not gonna look 15 years younger dying it blonde, (I'm not deluded!) but I've got no desire to look older - and I would look 10 years older with grey hair,

I know. a couple of women (who I had always known as having brown hair, both the same age as me,) and they went grey over lockdown. It aged them by 10 years. Yes, it really did. Unsurprisingly they went brown again after quite a few comments from people about how it looks better brown. (I said nothing. I thought it but never said anything.)

Also, there are no 'mean spirited' horrible spiteful comments on here. They're just opinions. Comments aren't 'mean spirited' and spiteful and horrible, just because you don't like them. They're just people's opinions.

Have to say also, it's so refreshing to see a thread that is not celebrating 'embracing the grey,' and is saying women should dye their hair if they wish, and it's refreshing to see a lot of posters saying they DO dye their hair and will never stop, and will never go grey! I hate the 'embrace the grey' type threads that try to make women feel like shit if they dye their hair, like they're doing something wrong!

My mums 88 and still has her hair coloured.
im 61 and don’t see myself letting it go grey anytime soon. I’m still very dark at the back so I think it would look odd anyway 😁

I don't think it's superficial. How you look affects how you feel (and vice versa!) Women should be able to make their own choices without being criticised, either for looking old and 'washed out' with grey hair or supposedly being delusional for trying to hold back the years by dyeing it. Also, I have an aunt who is like your neighbour. She has pale skin and black hair (typical Celt!) and at 81 has hardly any grey hair. Just a few stragglers! She gets asked about it a lot. If they knew her, they wouldn't bother asking. She really isn't the type to spend time on her appearance.

I let my grey grow out over lockdown. I found the whole process of gradually seeing what it looked like really enjoyable. If I hadn't liked it though, believe me, I would have gone back to colouring it, even though I was utterly fed up with the whole process.

I'm 48 and am growing out my colour. I've gone from brown to ash blonde and am now letting the grey grow through.
I don't like it, I much prefer my hair when it's brown. But I just got absolutely sick of dealing with roots that were visible literally a week after dying my hair.
In 5yrs time once my hair is completely natural I'll need to reconsider the style. And I accept that I definitely look younger with darker hair. But I'm pleased that nowadays it seems to be much more socially acceptable to have grey hair before you're 60-70.
My DH has had grey hair/ white hair for years, so why can't I?

Also, there are no 'mean spirited' horrible spiteful comments on here. They're just opinions. Comments aren't 'mean spirited' and spiteful and horrible, just because you don't like them. They're just people's opinions.

I think the comment I highlighted above was mean spirited, if that's what you're referring to. It went way beyond opinion and into outright mocking. In fact it wasn't just mean spirited, it was plain nasty. Have another read of it, if you can be bothered, and perhaps you'll see the difference.

because dying affected my sinuses and I’d feel ill for days after
Not surprised you felt ill for some time after dying 🤣

(sorry, could not resist being facetious)

OP I'm another lucky one, the women in my family don't go grey until they're in their 80s, and then only partly. When it does happen, I'm planning to take advantage of the "lightness" to use some sort of blonde wash-through tint. Maybe even experiment with something like cassia obovata.

I don't think you should feel bad about this simple trick to improve the way you look and feel. All our grooming is to some extent "unnatural" - without toothpaste and regular brushing, for example, I'd probably have no teeth by now. Without scissors, who knows where your hair would be at the moment. And experimenting with hair cuts and colours can be fun!

Yea that was my stance in the end in my 50s.

Recently I had some streaks put in my hair and I really like the look so may do it again

Never doing full colour again

Can I ask people who do colour their hair how they feel about themselves when it isn’t coloured?

This may sound silly but one of the main reasons I don’t colour my hair is that if that was my ‘normal’ look I would worry about if I got too ill/had an accident/was in hospital for a while I would, on top of everything else, hate how my appearance had been forced to change.

Sort of like people worry about the unsightly chin hairs they normally pluck out and what would happen if they were in a coma!

Yes I get that

What's to be done about the chin hairs though

I try not to pluck them as I read that it made it worse but I can constantly feel them growing back through itms

Same for me! My roots when they come through are very dark with the odd silver showing I much prefer my lighter brown with a hint of red - I’m 63 and being grey all over I can’t just imagine it!

My problem was that I'd been dying my hair for so long (my grey started in my 20s) that my natural colour only came through as roots. So I had like a "halo" I guess of grey hair. If I'd had stripes / streaks it may have been more palatable to me. I bloody hated that halo. Dying your hair means accepting a level of work / cost to maintain that I'm not willing to put in any longer

I can only guess really but looking at my roots I wouldn’t want that dark shade of brown round my face - suited me when I was much younger when I had that youthful glow but not now with age 63 complexion despite mine being pretty good still

I am 4 inches into growing my grey out. It's a pretty silver colour and it's starting to come through as highlights through the length (chin length dark brown hair, thick and wavy, which I straighten). I dyed for years, then gradually got fed up of the smelly chemicals, the time and the increasing expense. I experimented with silver streaks for a while, but had to use lots of bleach to strip the natural pigment and then add toner, and my poor hair started to suffer.

Personally, I like it a lot, and it receives compliments. I do make more effort with my skin care and make-up, and will doubtless, this year, spend as much as I used to spend at the hairdresser with a dermatologist; so there's probably no net saving but the expenditure feels more positive.

There's lots of pictures of Alice Munroe around at the moment (Nobel Laureate for literature, just died at 93, beautiful silver hair for a number of years, blessed with great bone structure, lovely skin and teeth also) if you're looking for role models! But you're happy as you are, which is all any of us can hope for, really! So good on ya!

I dye mine strawberry blonde. I fondly imagined in my forties I'd stop dying it when I was 50. I just don't like my natural colour as much, and think I will keep it or some version of red or copper until I'm 100.

Sometimes it really isn't about the greys, ie. I have a friend who went pure white in her forties, and that looks fabulous. I think we can do what we want, and age should not be a barrier to having a look one likes.

Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself. I’m 55 and have my roots done every 5/6 weeks. I’ve no intention of stopping, it’s personal preference, i think grey looks good on some people older or younger, all depends if it suits or not, regardless of age.

My mum started letting her hair go grey and she looked STUNNING and we told her it was amazing but the following week she was back to the hairdresser. Mil is gone great and it looks fab on her but ds let herself go grey and it really made me worry about her because it was more that she was just done with trying (she’d had a really tough year) so when I saw she’d dyed it again and was back wearing make up I was thrilled. She texted a photo and said she felt like her again. My granny dyed hers until they told her aged 95 she shouldn’t as her scalp was hurting. She was so upset. So I think it should always be a you do you thing, whatever makes you feel great x

I'm roughly your age and still have lowlights. My hair is getting grey but not equally all over.

Like you, every 3 to 4 months.

Hairdresser rates it as around 50% 'grey' .

I'd never, every dye my own hair.

I have the lowlights carefully colour-matched with my own hair that's not gone grey yet. My hairdresser knows where to put the colour and takes 45 minutes to do the foils.

I never want to go white. I have friends in their 80s who have some colour all over- like a soft honey colour and it looks good.

Ironically, IMO the only women who look good grey are young women with great bone structure, great hair, and can have really precise cuts.

I rally hate all-over flat colour on older women that is so obviously dyed (usually done at home) as the hair often just looks flat and lifeless.

The Mary Beard look isn't one to hanker after IMO.

My natural colour was dark coppery brown. I am 72 and asked my hair dresser for advice. Hopefully my before and after photos will load.

I'm 41 and fully grey, decided to go grey gracefully a couple of years ago. I started going grey in my eary 30s bur have always dyed my hair. I actually love my grey hair and glad not to feel the pressure of the upkeep of colour

I still dye my hair because it makes me feel younger and gives me confidence. I don't dye it the deep reds that I used to dye it , more of a natural light brown now . I think your hair looks great OP and if it gives you a confidence boost keep doing it . Who cares what anyone else thinks .

Looks lush

That is beautiful @Mountainash. Very sleek and polished. No amount of product or blow drying would ever give me that look. I think I might have a trace of wire haired terrier in my DNA😆

Your photo of your hair after having it done is beautiful.

beauty comes from the inside out. Having a healthy lifestyle and being blessed with good health is a gift that keeps on giving.

Keep doing you, however that is and in whichever way makes you happy ❤️

This explains you've been raised to dye your hair.

If you want to dye it that is fine.

I don't think dyeing makes anyone look 'younger', it is just that grey is something some people look down on. But don't go grey if you don't want to, there is no right or wrong.

That's so gorgeous!

Mind you, as someone with dead straight hair, I like the first picture best 😺 You are lucky!