When will I feel right to let my grey grow through?

[Tolkienista]

I'm 65.....66 in August.
I've got great hair, thick and so easy to manage........ literally wash and go, don't even need to blow dry it.
However, like many women in their 60s, I prefer to have it professionally coloured at a hair salon. I do eke it out, today's colour was after 12 weeks, I do my own root touch ups at home.

Here's the thing.I washed my hair last night to get rid of all the touch up colour, hair products etc and studied the grey around my face and hairline.....it honestly wasn't doing it for me hated looking at it and how it made me feel, could not see myself with that grey all over my head.

Fast forward to 2 o'clock today.and I sprang out of the hairdressers like a new woman, my hair freshly cut & coloured ready to face the world.
Am I deluding myself with hiding behind coloured hair in my 60s, or should I just accept my real hair colour and keep it real?

I'd love to hear others thoughts.

Very few of my family get more than a smattering of grey till their eighties so you’d be fairly unremarkable dyed here.

Just carry on as you are. You will never be ready if you're not ready at 66. I am early-mid 50s and keep mine blonde. Hell will freeze over before I EVER let the grey grow though. (Though I don't actually have much to be honest, not yet.)

@MaryFuckingFerguson · Yesterday 19:23

Unpopular opinion on here, but I don’t think anyone looks better with grey hair. I’m not talking Joan Collins level of darkness, but why not dye it if it makes you feel good.

My neighbour is 72 and completely gorgeous. She had her hair dyed a mid, glossy brown and she looks fabulous. I have a friend (51) who has gone grey and it looks awful.

Yes to this. Very few women look great when they just let the grey show. IMO.(Particularly women under 65.)

I know a bunch of women will come on here soon and post their 'here's my grey hair aren't I fabulous' pics (where most of them conveniently have steel grey hair that is all one colour, that looks super neat and tidy,) and they will be praised and cheered on by other posters saying 'you go gurrrrl!'

But in reality, I see very few women who look better with grey hair than they do with it dyed. And no, I know dying the grey hair brown or blonde doesn't necessarily mean you look 15 years younger, I'm not deluded, but NOT dying it can be quite ageing.

Ugh I started going grey at 17 and I only know one person who can really carry it off without looking frumpy and old. I'm 62 and no way am I giving up my L'Oréal!
My MIL looked great with her thick white hair in a bob but she was well into her 70s when I met her. Most people I know ow who have 'embraced the grey' look ten years older than they are.

I know a bunch of women will come on here soon and post their 'here's my grey hair aren't I fabulous' pics (where most of them conveniently have steel grey hair that is all one colour, that looks super neat and tidy,) and they will be praised and cheered on by other posters saying 'you go gurrrrl!'

Is there any need for this? Such a mean spirited comment.

People who dye their hair jet black like that look - it's not about trying to "fool'' anyone. I never see anyone suggesting Nick Cave (66) should stop.

@tolkiensta why on earth do you think you should go grey naturally. I've no intention of and will have my hair coloured at my hairdressers for as long as I have breath in my body.

You don't have to live by the rules of others. Keep it coloured all your life if you want to.

We don't have to grow older gracefully. Growing older means you get more permission to be mischievous, and dance the earth to your tune. BTW I'm 62

My friend has grey hair and it does look great

However - she'd look younger with it dyed.

I went grey in a short space of time, mainly around the front and sides. I tried to grow it out but I hated the look and texture of it. I actually don;t like the look of grey hair on other people either, especially long grey hair. My hair is long and I do colour it and go to the hairdresser who runs two or three colours through and lighter than my natural colour ever was. Dark colours on people with grey look bad, and block colours look un-natural. The worst is box dyes. I can spot them a mile off.

Of-course, a short razor cut on a beautiful grey haired woman looks great, but needs cutting every three weeks, and not many people can pull that haircut off.

I don’t understand why you’re putting pressure on yourself? You like it, you can afford it, you’re hurting no one, and there’s absolutely no reason not to have whatever colour you choose.

I’m in my 40s, letting my greys take over and also loving how it looks . We’re both so lucky that we can choose what we prefer. And those who want scarlet red and cobalt blue, or to shave an undercut, are equally welcome.

It wasn’t as easy for other generations, and millions of women worldwide cannot even show their hair in public. Don’t allow imaginary standards or irrelevant opinions to restrict your freedom! I love that your dm has dyed into her 90s. Hope you’re aiming for 120 at least.

I'm 60 and will hide the grey until the last hair falls off my scalp.

If it makes you feel happy and confident then don't stop. I think you will know when it stops bringing you joy.

My grey looks fab, it's a steely blue/grey and I have a Mallen streak at the front (from my Mother's side). It's very striking and so much better than when I used to colour it. People who comment are often surprised it's natural. Until you let it out, you don't know what you've got!

So envious, I found my first grey hair at 19. I couldn't tell you how much I've spent on hair colouring over the decades.

Do whatever you prefer!

Lots of nasty, stereotyping comments here about what women with grey hair look like. Why can’t you just say you prefer dyed hair for yourself or on friends / others without saying negative and stereotypical things about the alternative.

It’s also straight up sexism.

Do whatever makes you happy, if dying it is the look you like and feel confident with, continue with it
This. I've never dyed my hair (now 44, been going slowly grey since about 30) because I can't be arsed and it's never bothered me. Unlike OP though I find my thick hair irritating and heavy and have it thinned out loads when I do get round to getting it cut.

My mother is 76 and I don't remember her ever not dying it. She doesn't want to be grey, I'm quite happy being grey. No right or wrong.

I'm in my fifties and now completely silver/grey. I have had a number of unsolicited compliments about the colour, and my hair is thick and healthy. I hated the way roots appeared within a week or two, when I coloured it.
However, a couple of times people have thought I'm older than I am. Before I went natural, people tended to think I was younger than my actual age. This may be because of an association with grey hair or perhaps I actually look older with it.
I love my colour, but I do feel older with it. I'm OK with that though.
If you feel fabulous with your dyed hair and can afford to keep doing it, carry on!

Do what makes you happy.

I went grey (at 58) not through choice really because dying affected my sinuses and I’d feel ill for days after. I have kept it very short (sort of Jamie Lee Curtis style). I find I have to take more care with make up and clothes. Mine’s still dark at the back but silver at the front and friends and family tell me they like it.

No one’s ever told me I look older but who does that anyway? Maybe they think I look older but I don’t really care. I looked younger with my hair dyed but I WAS younger.

So much pressure on us either way. Do what you want.

Some people with grey hair look fabulous and others are look like they have a Brillo stuck on their head but I think the Brillo brigade don't condition and possibly let the hair dry naturally.

Just reading through all the comments that have come in overnight and I really appreciate each one whatever has been written & there's certainly a variety of views.
I think the bottom line for me is how I feel. I've always dressed for myself, worn make up for myself and I'll include my hair in that too.

Each day we face the world in a way that feels right for us. I'm a healthy person, rarely ill, I eat well, exercise regularly and feel confident in the way I present myself to the world......if that includes the way my hair looks too style wise, colour wise, so be it.

Do what makes you feel happy.
I'm greying naturally (though still mainly natural colour in my late 40s). There's no right or wrong.

Are many of us going for a Nick Cave inspired look though?

As observed many times on MN, and life in general, lots of folk pull themselves up by pulling others down. It's generally due to lack of self esteem.

It's one of life little things that gives you a boost one way or the other based on preference. You have to want to do it, and some won't ever want to. I did it at 39 as i wanted my natural hair for my 40th. For me it was brilliant, I think my hair is interesting and unique, I really love it. My mum is still colouring hers at 74, and she's given me the box dye number for if she ever goes into a care home (also which nail varnish 😃).

I’m fifties and have grey streaks but still are majority brunette, so am going to continue dying it. My mil dyed her hair all her life and looked great.

I think as long as the colour matches your skin tone, then continue.

Its slightly ironic that in the past few years, it’s been the you youngsters that have gone for the blue rinse haircuts, and not the oaps.

Continue what you’re doing!

My mum is 69 and she dyed her hair still. She looks great and I can't imagine her ever wanting to grow out her natural colour.