Where to buy a 'decent' bra?

[OMGitsnotgood]

Was in a boutique trying on a dress for a special occasion. Lady in the shop advised me I needed a 'decent bra' to give me more shape. Was a bit taken aback as i thought my trusty M&S bras had served me well!
Now paranoid. I'm a 42DD, which MN keeps telling me isn't big but I do look quite busty.

While I don't like showing too much cleavage, I do like a lowish top and often wear vest tops. Many of the more 'robust' bras I've tried on are too high at the side and in the cup, especially coming into summer.

I much prefer to buy in store but have to accept there aren't many places left, so if online only, they need ti accept returns.

Based on the above, do you have any recommendations for brands/specific bras please? thank you

Did M&S measure you? If so, it's probably wrong. I recently did the boob or bust measure method and was shocked at the result. Went along with it and ordered some in my new size. What a revelation! Fits perfectly, no back pain, strap never rides up, feel completely supported.

I ordered from Bravissimo but it's quite pricey so I'm on the hunt for something cheaper.

She probably meant one that fitted you properly. Have a look at

I knew someone would mention Boob or Bust !! I tried that and the resulting bra size went nowhere near me. Got my DD to measure me again, she came up with the same measurements I'd got, went to John Lewis and tried a range of bras in that size and none were anywhere near fitting. Not sure whether we both misread the instructions (unlikely we both did) or B&B doesn't work for everyone?

Will revisit but meanwhile I am interested in recommendations for bras which provide good support, not too high at the sides or front, preferably not totally ugly but happy to go with functional !

M&S bras are fine enough but yours probably doesn't fit. You'll probably end up in a mad sounding size like a 36H.

Bravissimo or John Lewis or an independent boutique will get you something which will transform your shape. Once they've fitted you and you've got at least one good bra you can take your understanding of how a bra should fit back to M&S and buy from there - but on no account let their fitters anywhere near you.

It depends if this is your correct size or not first. Try boob or bust or visit an independent bra shop.

Coming up on searches are Bluebells, Fantasie Rebecca, Miss Mary Stay Fresh etc but for me it all depends on the fit.

The other thing I’d say is you need to think about coverage and work out which bras offer more coverage for eg day to day and which ones you can get away with day to day.

She said one that provided more support, she didn't see the bra itself so wouldn't know about the fit, could just see it needed more lift when I had various dresses on.

Lost half your last sentence, what were you going to suggest please?

In that case definitely book a fitting at John Lewis. They'll sort you out.

What clothes size are you OP?

You'll probably end up in a mad sounding size like a 36H.

36G was the size I got with B&B. I pulled every 36G I could find (admittedly only 5-6) and I couldn't fasten any of them.

Because so many people swear by B&B I thought I must be reading or measuring wrong so got my DD to measure me without mentioning what I'd got and she also made me a 36G

14

Absolutely NO way you’re a 42 band 🤣

For comparison, I’m a size 20 and I’m a 36 band. When I was a size 14 I was a 32 band. It doesn’t always correlate exactly but it’s good as a rough guide.

Do you consider yourself to have a very wide ribcage?

Also it will take some getting used to wearing a properly fitting bra, it will feel like scaffolding at first, but you will get a much better shape in clothes.

I would recommend making an appointment at an independent lingerie shop for a fitting and go from there.

Try a 38FF or 38G. As a size 14 I'd be surprised if your band size was much bigger than 38

The rule of thumb is that you won't need a band size bigger than your dress size plus 20. So you don't need a band size bigger than a 34.

You'll be wearing a bra that is massively too big in the band, because the cups are massively too small. If your breast tissue doesn't all fit inside the cups, then the band has to be bigger to go around it.

As a matter of interest, what was your Boob or Bust size? Don't automatically dismiss it because it sounds mad, we're just automatically conditioned to think that D+ = huge, but it really isn't at all.

I have personal experience. I was wearing a 38D, and should have been in a 32G. Even now, significantly bigger than I was then, I am a size 16/18 and I wear a 34GG

But! Your question was where to go - the simplest answer is to go to Bravissimo. They will fit you into your correct size, I've always found them to be very reliable. Don't be surprised if it is wildly different to 42DD.

A properly fitting bra is right around the cage but makes the world of difference support-wise. Takes some getting used to after years of ill fitting bras.

So you don't need a band size bigger than a 34.

But as previously said, I tried 36G after doing B&B and none would fasten

When I was a size 14 I was a 32 band. It doesn’t always correlate exactly but it’s good as a rough guide.

What cup size were you? As I keep saying, 36Gs won't fasten.

Do you consider yourself to have a very wide ribcage?

I would say so, and am very broad shouldered.

It depends on styles of bras.

A lot of bras are tight at first but they soon loosen up with wear. If you’re used to wearing other sized bras which are wrong then they will “not fit”. If they try them on you in a bra shop though they should be able to advise or say which fastening it should be on.

As a matter of interest, what was your Boob or Bust size? Don't automatically dismiss it because it sounds mad, we're just automatically conditioned to think that D+ = huge, but it really isn't at all.

As previously said, 36G and I didn't automatically dismiss it, just couldn't fasten any 36Gs

What is your measurement around your rib cage? If it was 36, try a 38 as a starting alternative - but some bras do have strong “elastic” (?) and give a bit with wear.

However, I’d suggest Bravissimo over John Lewis for a fitting, and, as a specific recommendation, I found the Panache Tango II bra in a bigger cup size good for a low cleavage when I cared about showing it 😊

A lot of bras are tight at first but they soon loosen up with wear. If you’re used to wearing other sized bras which are wrong then they will “not fit”.

That's useful info, thank you. But the B&B sizing doesn't even fasten which is different to I being tight?

Boob or bust says I need a 30E, which is practically impossible to buy. and when I have found one, I can't actually do it up 😆

I accept I wore too big a back size for a long time, but 32 C/D is right, I think.

That's interesting @Confortableorwhat. I am happy to accept I'm wearing the wrong size (thank you M&S fitters!), just can't work out why B&B doesn't work for me when everyone else swears by it!

I have been G-JJ at various times(!)

Go into a Bravissimo. They will size you correctly and have lots of options for you to try on