Where to buy a 'decent' bra?

[OMGitsnotgood]

Was in a boutique trying on a dress for a special occasion. Lady in the shop advised me I needed a 'decent bra' to give me more shape. Was a bit taken aback as i thought my trusty M&S bras had served me well!
Now paranoid. I'm a 42DD, which MN keeps telling me isn't big but I do look quite busty.

While I don't like showing too much cleavage, I do like a lowish top and often wear vest tops. Many of the more 'robust' bras I've tried on are too high at the side and in the cup, especially coming into summer.

I much prefer to buy in store but have to accept there aren't many places left, so if online only, they need ti accept returns.

Based on the above, do you have any recommendations for brands/specific bras please? thank you

If you’re in London then I had a really good experience in Selfridges. Familiar story - I was wearing a 34C and ended up leaving with 30DD/30E. The brand I got was Wacoal which is also available online and they are lovely bras - now I know my size I’ve bought lots more from them.

Ignore my above comment. I got it completely wrong. How embarrassing.

https://www.belle-lingerie.co.uk/prima-donna-madison-full-cup-wire-bra/?source=shoppingads&curr=gbp&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgJyyBhCGARIsAK8LVLMNMjut4EJ4wsQnO5Y2FjjBFl5QfncAy23hVaQH4KRCmoyXXA_h9S0aAnjiEALw_wcB

the most comfortable and gives best shape. find a store you can try some Prima Donna bras to get your size then google is your friend. pricey but handwash and they last forever.

https://www.brastop.com/ - when you have your size.

bravissimo - shops do fittings I'd try them or an independent bra shop - get size and style right then buy cheaper on-line at bra shop later.

Wacoal is a good alternative - and often found cheeper on amazon once you know your size.

I have never found an M&S bra that fits, even it was supposedly in my size. I don't know what they do but everything is tiny. In your shoes I'd try Bravissimo.

Try damart. I’m 40 D and like non wire bras with a high cotton content. I don’t bother being measured anymore, they’re always wrong.

A DD bust for a 42 band is tiny! If you really are a 42DD, your measurements should be 42” (give or take) under your bust and 46.5” over your bust.

The general rule of thumb is that your band measurement is what you measure under your bust and then you add a full cup size for every inch difference between your under and over bust measurements. Eg, 38” under and 43” over would be a 38E. Get yourself to Bravissimo or a shop that only sells bras! Bravissimo even do online fittings via video.

Can't recommend Bravissimo highly enough. Once you know your size you can generally get bras cheaper on eBay etc... I recommend panache and freya but have also found bravissimo's own bras comfortable.
Your size will also vary with style as well. Good luck!

For those saying they like/don’t like Bravissimo. I used to go there to get my bras but they always put me in demi cup balconette bras when I wanted full cover or tshirt. Once I went to an independent bra shop I actually got a decent range of bras I liked in all styles.

Oh my! If you’re a 14, your chest measurement is around 40 inches. A 36H would mean you measure around 44 inches all round, which is too much for a 14.

My guess is you’re so used to wearing bras that are massive around the back that a proper fitting one feels too tight.

I swear by Bravissimo bras, they are so much more supportive than M&S bras. I do have some M&S Bras which I liken to 'comfortable slippers' as they are loose around the band and don't dig in anywhere, but they give me an awful saggy shape!

I always tell the fitters in Bravissimo that I don't want a band that is too tight, and I find that a 36F fits me comfortably in most styles. I am a dress size 14 but sometimes take a 16 to accommodate my boobs. Some Bravissimo fitters suggest that I try on a 34FF but I find that size uncomfortable around the back. A bra should be snug in order to give you a good shape, but not so tight that it hurts.

Bravissimo are great because they go in how the bra fits you, looking at whether the wires sit on your ribcage, where the straps are, if the cups bulge/gape or whatever, so they will keep trying different sizes and styles till they get a perfect fit on you. They are less bothered with what the tape measure says as how it sits on your body.

I’ve been looking at skims but so confused by their measurements. I’m a size 6/8 but put in measurements and they suggested 34A which seems highly unlikely.

I'm a size 14-16 and I'm a size 34GG. I really doubt you are wearing the correct size bra. I usually buy my bras from Bravissimo. I have just tried a load on that were delivered. I couldn't fasten one style up at all, it was tiny! Even in a bigger cup. But I'm keeping Fantasie Illusion. Really nice and comfortable. I tried a cup size up, it gave a bit more room in the back band.
Bravissimo do live chat fittings. They'll discuss with you the styles you like. They helped me choose as I'm petite and all the wires are too big sometimes and come up too far or are too wide set in the middle. Highly recommend them

The bra will feel really tight around the back as you won't be used to it as you've been in a 42!

I sometimes use a bra extender to add a small amount of size in the band but keep the cups the same. Doesn't always give the best fit but for new bras it helps ease them a little

Bra extenders a great. I used them when I was pregnant.

If boob or bust didn't work for you try the calculator on a site called "a bra that fits" I found that to be much more accurate.

I find as I grow older (and having a mastectomy a few years ago) 'lift' and comfort are not always synonymous.

Bear with me, I know it's not a message all will want to hear. However, it is a fact that as we grow older our skin is more sensitive and less firm. So more unable to tolerate very tight straps on the back or shoulders. Tightness can cause degradation in the skin and compromise movement of lymph fluid resulting in soreness and rashes. So softer support is often favoured. If you look at catalogues aimed at the elderly some will mention this although with the popularity of 'boob or bust' method this is becoming less likely as that particular message seems to becoming increasingly pervasive. It annoys me that even mastectomy brands are beginning to recommend this style of fitting which can be wholly unsuitable due to scarring and compromised lymph flow from lymph node removal.

So perhaps people can be a little less evangelical about boob or bust and consider the individual's requirements regarding bra fitting?

And the upshot of a more softly supported bust? Exercise, build muscle wherever possible to increase natural support. And look at clothes which suit your shape. And style it out! We're real women with real bodies and our breasts are not meant to point skywards!

I love Panache (big boobs). Some of the others like Fantasie give me a old lady look (boobs doing that east-west thing).

I find that Bravissimo's own run slightly small.

Boob or Bust has me at 34GG, I couldn't breathe in those bands.

I used these measurements in cm attached and I'm a 38DD, the bras are comfy and fit nicely. I'm a size 14-16.

I’m a size 16 top and I wear a 34 and occasionally a 36. There’s no way you are a 42. In my 20s, when slimmer, I was measured by M and S as 36c when it turns out I was 28 F. I’d bet good money your band size is way too big and your cups too small. Go to a decent independent bra shop. Rigby and Peller is the bee’s knees. I went after DD1 and it revolutionised my bras. Bravissimo are ok but they don’t sell the really high end bras like Prima Donna which are the best if you are in the G/H range, which I suspect you are.

I’m a size 16 top and I wear a 34 and occasionally a 36.

I fully accept I am in the wrong size bra - but as I've already written I cannot fasten the 36 G that B&B says I am. It's not tight or uncomfortable, it literally cannot be fastened. I will go to Bravissimo next time I'm in town. If I'm in M&S before then, will see if they have 36s in bigger cups to try or will look at 38s in a bigger cup.

I may have to take photos of the 36 Gs not fastening as no one seems to believe me!!

What do you actually measure under the bust? You may have just been unlucky with the bra you tried.

My friend had been wearing a 36 for years. She got properly measured and was a 32, but because she was used to such a loose band, she continued in her 36s.