Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Dreading A Wedding

128 replies

BoyMum2023 · 30/04/2024 17:52

Husband and I got invited to a wedding last week, which is at the end of May. There are a few things bothering me:

First off, I have put on quite a bit of weight over the last year since my Mum died, so I'm not in love with my reflection atm. I am 40 this year, and also got a cheap, bad haircut recently which I can't afford to sort out. It's not bad bad but its not brilliant.

I've already ordered a few dresses to try on, but they have made my confidence worse because of how awful they looked!

I have so many hang ups about different parts of my body that I've made it almost impossible for myself to find clothing. I live in leggings, with check shirts or hoodies, baggy dresses if I'm not leaving the house, and I have one dress I wear to occasions now but it's very plain and fairly worn so not suitable for this wedding.

Second, they are fancy people, the bride is very successful and the groom is a muscly fireman, and they have wealthy friends... my husband and I are pretty low earners (not in relative terms, actual low earners) and creative types.

Third - the ceremony is at 2.30pm, followed by a wedding breakfast which all ends at 5.30pm. And then we are also attending the reception which is at 7.30pm. The reception invitation said "pile on the glam" and its basically cake and booze.

It sounds brilliant on paper and although my husband doesn't drink I intend to (don't normally in solidarity) because I wish to quell my nerves.

I worry about sticking out like some sort of Worzel Gummage. I worry I will look frumpy. I don't want to be uncomfortable. Glam doesn't suit my preferred dressing up style which is slightly alt/creative (I'd do combat boots with a dress and smoky eyeliner if I was going anywhere) but I do not do glam anything.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
eggplant16 · 03/05/2024 08:19

What? The hair is amazing.

Blueberrycreampie · 03/05/2024 14:09

I said near the beginning that you should wear a hat or something to hide your hair, but that was before I saw it. Many people would kill for hair like that, it's fab!

eggplant16 · 03/05/2024 15:46

The only thing that will be sticking out is your fabulous style!

BoyMum2023 · 03/05/2024 19:40

that Piper dress is lovely!

the ruffled dress, whilst beautiful, shows too much flesh for me. I'd be paranoid all day 😂

OP posts:
WinnerwinnerGinfordinner · 05/05/2024 08:07

Your hair is gorgeous. I'd love a bob with tousled waves. A nice clip in one side and you'll look glam. Also a fan of red hair or copper but chocolate brown always looks so classy and healthy too.
I know you posted a twisted wunder dress earlier and people said it didn't fit the glam brief but I totally think it could woth the right accessories. I've been eyeing up a twisted wunder dress for a wedding I'm off to.
https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/fb800?optionSize=10&awaid=3027&utm_source=Affiliate+Window&utm_medium=Affiliates&utm_term=ShopForward+CSS&utm_content=Other&utm_campaign=Always+On&sv_campaign_id=531573&gad_source=1

I think of you and your husband are a bit arty and alternative then your glam will.be arty and alt too. If he is wearing a western shirt then I wouldn't expect you to be in the sort of dress and shoes that others call 'glam'. Honestly just be you don't get hung up on what glam means. I used to be very into the fifties style and have some lovely Hell Bunny, Collectif and Lindy Bop dresses that I'd wear to a glam wedding. Also Lady V dresses are mega flattering and loads of prints and Scarlett and Jo

helenatroy · 05/05/2024 09:04

Look at 100 stars. Boho styles in stunning fabrics. I have 4 and they have seen me from overweight, to obese, to overweight to now in normal weight range and looked great in every stage. They are comfy and have pockets and hit the glamour brief without discomfort. Enjoy. As my sister always says, everything is better with a champagne in your paw!

Leypt1 · 08/05/2024 07:09

WinnerwinnerGinfordinner · 05/05/2024 08:07

Your hair is gorgeous. I'd love a bob with tousled waves. A nice clip in one side and you'll look glam. Also a fan of red hair or copper but chocolate brown always looks so classy and healthy too.
I know you posted a twisted wunder dress earlier and people said it didn't fit the glam brief but I totally think it could woth the right accessories. I've been eyeing up a twisted wunder dress for a wedding I'm off to.
https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/fb800?optionSize=10&awaid=3027&utm_source=Affiliate+Window&utm_medium=Affiliates&utm_term=ShopForward+CSS&utm_content=Other&utm_campaign=Always+On&sv_campaign_id=531573&gad_source=1

I think of you and your husband are a bit arty and alternative then your glam will.be arty and alt too. If he is wearing a western shirt then I wouldn't expect you to be in the sort of dress and shoes that others call 'glam'. Honestly just be you don't get hung up on what glam means. I used to be very into the fifties style and have some lovely Hell Bunny, Collectif and Lindy Bop dresses that I'd wear to a glam wedding. Also Lady V dresses are mega flattering and loads of prints and Scarlett and Jo

Great shout. This from lady v could fit the brief?
https://ladyvlondon.com/products/elsie-dress-black-velvet?variant=47785783623988

Elsie Dress - Black Velvet

This version of the ‘Elsie’ dress is in a soft and flattering velvet material. The short sleeved Elsie dress creates an hourglass shape with its feminine draping. A plunging V-neckline and a wrap-around silhouette draw the eye to the waist, while gentl...

https://ladyvlondon.com/products/elsie-dress-black-velvet?variant=47785783623988

BoyMum2023 · 08/05/2024 07:36

thanks everyone for all your suggestions! it's given me alot to think about and renewed my confidence a little bit!

I saw someone had suggested how to style my hair - I had forgotten about things like shine serum so that's a must.

I don't usually wear any makeup but I know I'd like to wear a light foundation to hide any potential tiredness and I'd like to be sure my face doesn't let down my outfit! Does anyone have any recommendations for a light coverage foundation+concealer that doesn't really feel like it's on?

I can kind of do a smoky eye, a wing liner with some practice, I'm not a falsies girl but I'll be happy with mascara. I never wear anything on my lips because (gonna sound weird) lipsticks always seem to make my face look rounder?! So any advice on a lip?

my go to makeup for other events is usually mascara, subtle eye colour with a wing and tidy brows.... but there are times when I really feel like I still look tired/washed out/porey

OP posts:
Runningupthecurtains · 08/05/2024 08:13

BoyMum2023 · 08/05/2024 07:36

thanks everyone for all your suggestions! it's given me alot to think about and renewed my confidence a little bit!

I saw someone had suggested how to style my hair - I had forgotten about things like shine serum so that's a must.

I don't usually wear any makeup but I know I'd like to wear a light foundation to hide any potential tiredness and I'd like to be sure my face doesn't let down my outfit! Does anyone have any recommendations for a light coverage foundation+concealer that doesn't really feel like it's on?

I can kind of do a smoky eye, a wing liner with some practice, I'm not a falsies girl but I'll be happy with mascara. I never wear anything on my lips because (gonna sound weird) lipsticks always seem to make my face look rounder?! So any advice on a lip?

my go to makeup for other events is usually mascara, subtle eye colour with a wing and tidy brows.... but there are times when I really feel like I still look tired/washed out/porey

The thing I've noticed is the people who look fabulous in photos look a bit 'over done' in the flesh and those who look lovely and natural in the flesh look a bit washed out in photos so it's a really hard act to achieve both.
I've got an event coming up that I will be photographed at (arggghh). So I'm aiming for slightly more eye makeup than normal and a stronger lip colour but if you don't do lipstick a sheer gloss and bolder eye colour.
I love Boots no 7 intelligent colour foundation.

muddlingthrou · 08/05/2024 09:13

@BoyMum2023 - maybe you could try benefit lite primer? I find it gives just enough coverage to sort of blur my pores and even out my skin without feeling like I've got a layer of make up on my face.

dreaaamm · 08/05/2024 10:18

@BoyMum2023

you have several times mentioned they are posh/fancy but said

the groom is a muscly fireman

If it helps, a fireman is not 'a posh' job in any way. It's a solidly working class job. In insurance terms it's class 4 where as professional jobs (dr etc) are class 1.

Posh groom does not = a fireman.

I think you have got some exaggerated anxiety around this couple because you are perceiving them as better and yourself as inferior.

BoyMum2023 · 09/05/2024 23:20

dreaaamm · 08/05/2024 10:18

@BoyMum2023

you have several times mentioned they are posh/fancy but said

the groom is a muscly fireman

If it helps, a fireman is not 'a posh' job in any way. It's a solidly working class job. In insurance terms it's class 4 where as professional jobs (dr etc) are class 1.

Posh groom does not = a fireman.

I think you have got some exaggerated anxiety around this couple because you are perceiving them as better and yourself as inferior.

definitely true! I feel exceptionally inferior to them both, and am worried I will feel out of place amongst their other friends.

OP posts:
thedevilinablackdress · 10/05/2024 07:31

I hope you can get past feeling like that OP.
People are just different from each other, in many ways. It would be very boring if we were all the same, and it's no way to go through life - feeling lesser than those you associate with because you believe they have a better job or more money.
But I get it, big social gatherings like this bring out our insecurities, and hyper fixation on what to wear is how we deal with it ( I know I do!)

Tripeandonions · 10/05/2024 08:39

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 30/04/2024 18:32

Do you really want to go?

That would be my question.

If it's going to cause some much angst maybe give it a miss?

They didn't exactly give you much notice, did they? IMO that seems like you were an afterthought.🤔

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 28/06/2024 21:26

What did you go for in the end? Can we see a pic? I hoe you enjoyed it and felt fab! x

Bignanna · 28/06/2024 21:33

Try Scarlett and Jo, they have a good choice of midi dresses which will be more like maxi dresses on you.

Bignanna · 28/06/2024 21:35

Sorry, realise I’m a bit late!

BoyMum2023 · 30/06/2024 09:08

Bignanna · 28/06/2024 21:35

Sorry, realise I’m a bit late!

never mind! But do love Scarlett and Jo!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread