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Dreading A Wedding

128 replies

BoyMum2023 · 30/04/2024 17:52

Husband and I got invited to a wedding last week, which is at the end of May. There are a few things bothering me:

First off, I have put on quite a bit of weight over the last year since my Mum died, so I'm not in love with my reflection atm. I am 40 this year, and also got a cheap, bad haircut recently which I can't afford to sort out. It's not bad bad but its not brilliant.

I've already ordered a few dresses to try on, but they have made my confidence worse because of how awful they looked!

I have so many hang ups about different parts of my body that I've made it almost impossible for myself to find clothing. I live in leggings, with check shirts or hoodies, baggy dresses if I'm not leaving the house, and I have one dress I wear to occasions now but it's very plain and fairly worn so not suitable for this wedding.

Second, they are fancy people, the bride is very successful and the groom is a muscly fireman, and they have wealthy friends... my husband and I are pretty low earners (not in relative terms, actual low earners) and creative types.

Third - the ceremony is at 2.30pm, followed by a wedding breakfast which all ends at 5.30pm. And then we are also attending the reception which is at 7.30pm. The reception invitation said "pile on the glam" and its basically cake and booze.

It sounds brilliant on paper and although my husband doesn't drink I intend to (don't normally in solidarity) because I wish to quell my nerves.

I worry about sticking out like some sort of Worzel Gummage. I worry I will look frumpy. I don't want to be uncomfortable. Glam doesn't suit my preferred dressing up style which is slightly alt/creative (I'd do combat boots with a dress and smoky eyeliner if I was going anywhere) but I do not do glam anything.

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Runningupthecurtains · 30/04/2024 23:08

Wear a black dress, red lipstick and carry a beaded/sequin bag.

Or the something/anything from the web site posted by @desperatedaysareover they are fabulous!

Onynx · 01/05/2024 00:02

@BoyMum2023 I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum- I know what a devastating loss it is. In similar circumstances last year I was a guest at a glam wedding and wore a maxi wrap dress with butterfly sleeves from the brand Hope&Ivy. I felt lovely and have worn the dress for other events since . Bonus- I was also able to wear my comfy Birkenstocks with it as my feet were not on display!

BoyMum2023 · 01/05/2024 00:33

BananaLambo · 30/04/2024 23:02

Your friends love you and want you to be happy and comfortable on their special day. I love this style of dress though it drowns me at 5’3”, so I just chop off the bottom layer and it’s about right. Alternatively, get a new one of your favourite dress and go full boho with big hair and lots of silver. Be you, not a version of you that you think you should be.

love this. I'm definitely trying to find things that I 'think" are 'right'

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TheOriginalFrench · 01/05/2024 01:04

would prefer as cheap as I can get away with.

This is probably where you’ve been going wrong with the dresses you’ve ordered …

The Heritage Clothing frock linked above looks wonderful.

TheOriginalFrench · 01/05/2024 01:22

Alternatively, have a look here:

https://batsheva.com/en-gb

And if the general idea appeals, see if you can find a Batsheva dress on Vinted (or anywhere pre-owned). American sizing.

Batsheva

Batsheva is a womenswear brand selling dresses, for party and housedresses, tops, skirts and pants with a Victorian and Prairie sensibility. The Snap Dress and the Smock Dress have become Batsheva staples.

https://batsheva.com/en-gb

thedevilinablackdress · 01/05/2024 07:40

Wear the peach ASOS dress you posted earlier with silver cowboy boots. Shiny is always glam.
And on that front, however many people are going to the wedding, that's how many interpretations of the word glam there wil be.
Except for a large chunk of the men, who will wear their best suit and be done with it. So kudos to your DP for his outfit... Which brings me back to silver cowboy boots for you 😄

thedevilinablackdress · 01/05/2024 07:43

I also absolutely loved the dress with the stars all over it you posted earlier and thought it was perfect. So you see very subjective.

Candleabra · 01/05/2024 07:46

So many nice dresses! I hope you have a lovely time and sorry about your mum.
Did I read correctly that there’s no meal at the reception and it’s just cake? (If so, watch out for getting too drunk as it’ll be easy to get carried away on champagne, make sure you have something to eat beforehand - sorry to be so boring!)

Candleabra · 01/05/2024 07:48

I always think darker colours are more glam and it’s easier to get away with a cheaper dress (with light colours you need to get the fabric and colours spot on). I like the black dresses with the gold, very nice.

eggplant16 · 01/05/2024 08:59

Navy, starry, floaty thingy. Still suggest a personal shopper. They don't make you buy things.

eggplant16 · 01/05/2024 09:05

If I was going I would rather be with the creative types than the others! Good Luck.

Don't forget your feet!

Runningupthecurtains · 01/05/2024 10:21

TheGirlattheBack · 30/04/2024 23:32

Please don’t wear a black dress a red lips to a wedding it’s really not appropriate.

Sosander have a couple of nice wedding guest dresses -

This

At a 'normal' wedding I'd agree but one where you have been instructed to 'pile on the glam' the happy couple must expect people to do just that.

BoyMum2023 · 01/05/2024 11:14

I'm not a red lippy girl anyway! never found the right shade of red! I might slick on a bit of clear lip gloss 🤔 I'm not so great with makeup.

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bonjourpaname · 01/05/2024 11:29

What about something that picks up the silver and black in your partners outfit like this www.next.co.uk/style/st747650/296009#296009 - it's a bit quirky, not too dark, and has some arm coverage

neonyellowskirt · 01/05/2024 11:42

Perhaps one of these? I think puff sleeves work better if they're longer, and I've seen this particular dress styled on a bunch of plus-sized influencers and they all look great it in. Then some nice chunky metallic heels, sparkly hair pins and jewelry: https://www.fatface.com/women/clothing/dresses/adele-shirred-midi-dress/0001052.html

Adele Shirred Midi Dress

Buy Adele Shirred Midi Dress today from FatFace. FREE UK Delivery on all orders over £70.

https://www.fatface.com/women/clothing/dresses/adele-shirred-midi-dress/0001052.html

MrsScotland · 01/05/2024 12:19

I'm a size 18-20 and I wore a dress from Jolie Moi that I got on Vinted to my cousin's wedding last month. I also got a lovely midi dress from Oasis online that I wore to 3 weddings and it always got admired. I didn't know they did bigger sizes! I found I needed to size up with them.

Also, vinted is your friend! I just make sure I don't buy anything too structured so I've got a bit of leeway for it to fit. I also buy expensive clutch bags on there to add a pop of colour - always admired!

eggplant16 · 01/05/2024 18:39

Thats great.

BoyMum2023 · 02/05/2024 12:31

I saw those Simply Be dresses. Unfortunately pastels aren't a great colour on me and neither is orange tones. I've got a yellow base to my skin.

I wonder if I can wear two looks? We are staying in a hotel because the wedding is a few hours from us - so I can theoretically have a daytime look and am evening look with two different dresses. I would assume that anyone attending the afternoon wedding will have to glam up for the evening, like me?

Or does that scream look at me?

Can you tell I've not been to a wedding since my kids were babies, aside from my own?!

there's this gorgeous Lovedrobe dress I ordered to try on..... perfect for a glam evening do but NOT for an afternoon wedding!

https://app.simplybe.co.uk/shop/IE067/product/details/show.action

you have to zoom in to see how it looks properly

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