Dreading A Wedding

[BoyMum2023]

Husband and I got invited to a wedding last week, which is at the end of May. There are a few things bothering me:

First off, I have put on quite a bit of weight over the last year since my Mum died, so I'm not in love with my reflection atm. I am 40 this year, and also got a cheap, bad haircut recently which I can't afford to sort out. It's not bad bad but its not brilliant.

I've already ordered a few dresses to try on, but they have made my confidence worse because of how awful they looked!

I have so many hang ups about different parts of my body that I've made it almost impossible for myself to find clothing. I live in leggings, with check shirts or hoodies, baggy dresses if I'm not leaving the house, and I have one dress I wear to occasions now but it's very plain and fairly worn so not suitable for this wedding.

Second, they are fancy people, the bride is very successful and the groom is a muscly fireman, and they have wealthy friends... my husband and I are pretty low earners (not in relative terms, actual low earners) and creative types.

Third - the ceremony is at 2.30pm, followed by a wedding breakfast which all ends at 5.30pm. And then we are also attending the reception which is at 7.30pm. The reception invitation said "pile on the glam" and its basically cake and booze.

It sounds brilliant on paper and although my husband doesn't drink I intend to (don't normally in solidarity) because I wish to quell my nerves.

I worry about sticking out like some sort of Worzel Gummage. I worry I will look frumpy. I don't want to be uncomfortable. Glam doesn't suit my preferred dressing up style which is slightly alt/creative (I'd do combat boots with a dress and smoky eyeliner if I was going anywhere) but I do not do glam anything.

Oh that definitely hits the glam brief! I would say changing fine.

no chance of that, I bloody hate champagne! I'm quite interested in the cake.

there's a meal beforehand for the ceremony attendees

My guess is that your friends have invited you because they want you there . They know you and your style, so wear what makes you feel comfortable so that you can relax and enjoy x

Op would a jumpsuit work? My friend wore one recently simple but lovely on her.

This is my hair. I'm considering dyeing it dark brown, or ginger (I love a red) - I had balayage ages or longer ago, touched it up myself a year ago, and I usually dye it temporary colours of pink or orange but have resisted for months. The cheaper cut was a quick measure to get rid of the damaged lengths - it used to be shoulder length.

I blurred out my face because I have a migraine today on 4 hours sleep.

I love this dress, @BoyMum2023 And it is glam. Metallic shoes or sandals.

I’d wear it and spend the money on getting your hair and makeup done.

Or silver boots

I do love the idea of silver boots. especially cowboy boots 😍

That’s the way forwards!

You have lovely hair, don’t dye it.

That hair looks like a keeper to me

The way you were your describing your hair I was not expecting what I saw in your photos, it looks really good.

really? I thought my hair looked terrible!

I agree with pps. Your hair looks lovely!

I dont normally comment on style & beauty as it is alien to me 🫣 but may i say your hair is gorgeous!!

I have hair down to my bum and i always wish i was brave enough to have exactly what you have! Honestly it is lovely.

Sorry to hear about your mum. Please be kind to yourself and most importantly just be yourself!

The black and white dress at 18.01 on 30/04/24 looks pretty nice @BoyMum2023 (And there are quite a few nice dresses on here.) That super colourful one that you posted is minging though (at 20.57 on 30/04/24.) Sorry!

Also, I don't think you said how tall you are. A curvy lady - size 20 - who is only 5 ft 2 or less may not suit these dresses as much as a curvy lady who is 5 ft 6+.

My friend's son got married last year, and she is size 18-20 and 5 ft 2, and she looked very frumpy in a below the knee colourful and/or patterned dress. (She admitted as much herself.)

So she wore trousers and a top. (Both navy!) Looked a bit like this... Smart and elegant. She said hell will freeze over before she wears a flowery dress that goes 6-12" below the knee! (Because of her being short - and a size 18-20.) She said she tried a dozen of them on and looked hideous in all of them. (Her words.)

BoyMum2023 · Today 17:57

really? I thought my hair looked terrible!

Honestly it’s like the photo you’d take to a salon and say can I have my hair like this?

I love your hair AND your attitude, and can’t wait to see what you pick!!

Have you thought about going to a make up counter and asking them to show you how to do a minimalist but more-glam-than-usual look?

What about this: https://www.asos.com/prd/205697470?acquisitionsource=pasteboard

i think with your colouring this could look gorgeous. And I agree with the others, your hair is lovely.

this could be beautiful as well:

Linen-blend off-the-shoulder dress
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1224288003.html

if you’re happy with your arms on show:
Linen-blend bandeau dress
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1221741001.html

apologies if I’m totally off the mark - I’ll admit I only read the first page and the last, but I was a size 22 a couple of years back, and this is the type of thing I’d gravitate toward - and still do to be honest. Same age, similar colouring.

Your hair us gorgeous. The way it's sitting here is that perfectly undone style loads of women spend ages getting. Can I suggest you add a little serum for shine and flyaways, then spritz a little texturising spray and rake through? Then just take a round brush and blow dry those shorter bits like you would a fringe - it'll be glam event ready in 5 mins.

Sorry about your mum. I hope you enjoy the wedding.

Just wanted to say I always find arty, alternative people so stylish and a bit intimidating because they have their own look. Be a glammed up version of yourself with a new dress in a style you'd normally wear and boots you like. Do you hair and make up and you'll be great.

My cousin recently wore this dress to a wedding and she looked so gorgeous I’m thinking of asking if I can borrow it for a wedding I’m going to. I don’t know if I would have picked it had I not seen it on her, but it’s genuinely beautiful

https://www.neverfullydressed.com/collections/dresses/products/pink-bon-plisse-dress

everyone's being so nice!

I'm so glad I posted, it's made me feel so much better about the wedding. I don't have any proper girl friends in real life so I'm really starved of this kind of chat!

Where are there makeup counters? Like Boots, or Debenhams sort of thing?

Someone asked my height and I'm 5'2" so being curvy does mean that it's easy to look frumpy because I don't have the height to carry some things off. Midi dresses are often ankle length on me. Maxi dresses often too long. It's a pain! I've got a trouser suit coming my way soon just to see how I feel about that!

We don’t have any department stores left in our city (sad face) but big Boots stores still have make up counters. Not sure if you have to book, but if you get chance to mooch in there, choose one where you like how the staff have done their make up. Don’t feel obliged to buy on the spot, tell them you need to look at it in daylight / at home before you decide what you like.

look up local makeup artists on Facebook or Instagram and find one you like. It’s so nice to be glammed up