Need an outfit for 30th birthday party (one that makes stbxh realise how much he screwed up!)

[Sarah87889]

Hi everyone, help urgently needed please to find an outfit for a 30th birthday party that my STBXH will also be attending. Obviously I want to show him what he will be missing! I’m mid-30s, and since having kids feel I’m not very stylish or used to going out anymore! Birthday party is at a bar on outskirts of town so not particularly dressy but not casual either. I’m 5’4, size 8 but 30G cup size so the girls need a bra (and I hate strapless!). Thank you so much x

If I was talking to a friend of mine: I'd say concentrate your attention on not trying to control something outside your power etc etc.

If it was me, and I wanted my own DH back... I'd think about what he liked me wearing in the early days, what compliments he'd given me over the years, and how I wanted to portray myself. I'd definitely get my hair done but not nails as he'd never notice.

What kind of style do you feel comfortable in? Whose friend is the engagement party?

Oh I definitely don’t want him back - it was my decision! I feel most comfortable in dresses I suppose, not too fitted round my stomach or possible a jumpsuit with heels?

Tbh, I wouldn't be giving him headspace. Buy a new outfit that you like and makes you feel good.

I'd say a nice handsome new man would be better than a new dress under the circumstances.

Why would you want to show him what's he's missing if you got rid of him?

I'd say a size 8 with G cup knockers, you won't need to do anything special OP. I'm sure he already knows what he's missing 😂😂

Obviously I want to show him what he will be missing!

Oh I definitely don’t want him back - it was my decision!

These 2 comments don’t make sense. Pick an outfit you like, not an outfit to play games in.

I'm not getting this either - if you instigated a split, you don't need to show him what he's missing. Just wear something you feel great in - for yourself!

Wrap dresses are good for big boobs I think, and a fit and flare style would fit your brief for being loose on the stomach.

www.boohoo.com/womens/dresses/wrap-dresses

This site has loads of colourful dresses that you could dress up or down. What about something like this? https://dlsb.co.uk/collections/dresses/products/once-in-a-lifetime-green-fuchsia-floral-maxi-dress

If he lost you due to him messing up and he regrets it, you could turn up in a bin bag and he'd still know what he's missing. If he's moved on, you could turn up looking drop dead gorgeous and he'd give you no more than a passing thought. Realistically, have you ever seen an ex you're over and been THAT bothered by what he's wearing? Point is, pick something you feel fabulous in and forget him. You don't want to spend your night looking out for signs he still thinks you're gorgeous, as you'll feel a bit flat if none are forthcoming.

So you ended the relationship and it was not his choice. You want to make him feel more hurt by looking amazing?

Ok, I currently have your size bust and am about an inch taller than you but not a size 8 (I wish!).

I found a few results putting these into google, what I always found though, even when I was a size 8/10, the boobs were the ones which got in the way, even though I was slightly smaller, and then there's the question of which bra to wear (Freya Deco strapless for me), I recall with some dresses, tops, I had to wear a bandeau bra over my strapless one (Urban Outfitters did a good nude one) which worked and didn't show straps. Also, in my 20s when I was size 8-10, I had an event where I really wanted to look knock out, I bought a Karen Millen very low backed dress but the top was sort of halter at the back, you couldn't wear a bra or back then no way, I hadn't heard of tit tape either but bound my boobs together with masking tape (not recommended but it worked!). It was the best feeling ever as a new colleague of mine (it was a work do), was boasting saying how she'd look so good in a backless gold satin dress and I blew her out of the water...! But try tit tape if it's a backless dress you want to wear.

The main thing for you if you want to dress to impress is pick a style and colour which really suits you, brings out your eyes if you want to show them off, even your boobs if that's what you want to show off.

Also for me, from experience, though I like the style of the PLT dress below, I'd usually pay more for something because in my experience if I've ever bought a cheap dress or seen them on friends, especially with bigger boobs, it looks cheap and it doesn't last, but you get my idea, maybe even vintage dresses?

[[https://www.google.com/search?q=backless+dress+for+big+bust&rlz=1C1GCFD_enGB1083GB1085&oq=backless+dress+for+b&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqDAgAEAAYFBiHAhiABDIMCAAQABgUGIcCGIAEMgYIARBFGDkyBwgCEAAYgAQyBwgDEAAYgAQyBwgEEAAYgAQyCAgFEAAYFhgeMgoIBhAAGA8YFhgeMggIBxAAGBYYHjIICAgQABgWGB4yCAgJEAAYFhgeqAIAsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#oshopproduct=gid:3056964264995806105,mid:576462761696428974,oid:4970392648897665107,iid:16358064831009206694,pvt:a,pvo:3&oshop=apv&pvs=0

[[https://www.silkfred.com/collection/big-boob-friendly

[[https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/21211364/30g-boobs-new-oh-polly-bigger-cup-range/

[[https://www.yumi.co.uk/girl-in-mind-camila-purple-abstract-wrap-over-midi-dress-p24317/s121008?utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=girl-in-mind-camila-purple-abstract-wrap-over-midi-dress-colour-multi-size-8-uk-colour-multi-size-8-uk-girlinmind-si7544-a-8&utm_campaign=froogle&cid=GBP&wi=off&glCurrency=GBP&glCountry=GB&wi=off&clickref=1100lypokmgw&utm_source=VisualsoftAffiliates&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=redbrain

[[https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/ie313?optionSize=22&promo=6202&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphnuvudBU6oKJn9sZRvU0YAlh88JBdtWiTUiqW6mXnWV100f_z7sWKEaAtx0EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

[[https://www.debenhams.com/product/jolie-moi-mirrored-mesh-angel-sleeve-maxi-dress_p-d32c4b88-77c8-4bab-b0c0-0c6081883cb8?colour=Green&size=8&istCompanyId=76f7277d-6e78-4dc2-aaff-1eb77fae16b0&istFeedId=258a4886-8f3c-47ef-9369-d1eda8d84501&istItemId=lmwiaimlx&istBid=t&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphnLgiBJ_cL5YJhORswIEpZA-33mx9REHfXJtrTSluc4daYNwBzebR8aAqWXEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

[[https://www.disturbia.co.uk/products/veniri-corset-mini-dress?variant=43058718245021&country=GB&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphk6BHPmD5FZlFiHyehXefuNQYSnhsfv2xS7H9_uY9eEzFnodvP3QNEaAoHnEALw_wcB

[[https://www.disturbia.co.uk/products/underworld-cotton-wrap-mini-dress?variant=44538197147805&country=GB&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphmJCj94Ufq-cpfvxe0U2sPdroRxLIsQ9s-hkJn3P-hx6GPUo9d7LekaAtJVEALw_wcB

[[https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/tw406?optionSize=18&promo=6202&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwq86wBhDiARIsAJhuphkbvG_5J_S9G0pMeUb49BzPIrULxawH1s3IxcmbGvMoOG3waTCUkGkaArHBEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I think it's clear to hear from OP that her ex STXH messed her around in some way, even put her down, but she wants to show him she's moved on and doesn't need him.

I get that.