Does anyone else feel anxious going to the hairdresser?

[BeanoComicLover88]

I've always seemed to have this issue, I don't know what it is about the whole experience but it's always made me feel like crap. I go to a salon where there are 2 stylists and the last few times I've gone, my regular stylist has been off or not there (without informing any of her clients that day). The other stylist can be incredibly rude and condeand it's made me not want to return anymore. I've searched for mobile stylists but haven't been able to find anyone so far.
Anyone else deal with salon anxiety and if so, how have you found a way around it? I know it sounds so stupid and like a first world problem. I should also mention that I've got Adhd so that makes things even more difficult

I love my hair being washed/scalp massaged/hair brushed as it’s so relaxing and a treat to not have to do it myself. What I don’t enjoy is the forced conversation for the entire time I’m there. It’s effort like all small talk. I just wanna switch off and chill! I know they mean well and I think they think we all don’t want silence so these days I usually make a little small talk to start with and then just say “I’m so tired today do you mind if I just zone out?” And they always seem absolutely fine with that.

Gosh, no! I love my hairdresser. I go every 5 weeks and it’s great every time. I’ve been going there for 6 years now. On my last visit she introduced me to the woman in the chair next door and the 3 of us ended up having such an intense chat about our ASD kids that it ended up in hugs. It might make a difference that I usually go in the evening so it’s just her me and one other customer so it’s a different vibe. Plus there’s wine, Bailey’s coffee or just coffee so it’s pretty chilled ! My husband, and teenagers and now other family members go there now too and they love it, especially my oldest who is very particular about his hair.

"nearly £200."

What? For a cut and colour? Is that because your hair is very long and thick?

I love it. My 2 hairdressers (one does the colour, the other the cut), are lovely. One is super chatty, the other more reserved and they are both fun people to spend the 3 hours with.

I enjoy the head massage but have said ‘no thanks’ if not in the mood (the sky did not fall in) and love the buzzy atmosphere. I also like being left alone whilst the colour takes - I read, doom scroll and people watch.

I really look forward to appointments (even if it costs me north of £200…)

The last hairdresser i went to will be the last time i ever use a hairdresser.
My shavers broke so went to the hairdressers instead.
I went for a very short cut took a pitcher with me i came out with a shaved head with what i call fluff ball on top.
I looked riddiculous i came home and ordered new head shavers and shaved it all off.
My good friend & sister could not keep a straight face when I got in it was that bad.

I used to have this, but now I am older (40s) and don’t care what they think of me which helps a lot. I’m pleasant and I tip well but I’m also direct about not wanting small talk and I spend the time largely staring at my phone. I have found a hairdresser who is good and doesnt push the chit chat.

For posters who don't like small talk

What is stopping you from saying "I don't feel very chatty today" and getting out a book/phone/kindle/magazine?

Why do you have to martyr yourself to something you don't enjoy when all you have to do is politely request your preferences? It doesn't have to be awkward or confrontational, just be politely assertive.

There are loads of hairdressers who would prefer to dispense with small talk and just get on with the job in hand.

Yes. Hairdressers aren’t any more addicted to a discussion of what you’re doing at the weekend than the average person. I’m nearly always catching up on reading for work at the hairdresser’s.

I used to get very anxious about it but somehow clicked with a stylist at a local salon about 15 years ago and nowadays I love going there. They are friendly and welcoming. I live in fear of them closing.

My previous stylist had a slightly...off demeanour. I basically got the feeling she didn't really like me very much.

Changed stylist recently (to a cheaper one at the same salon) and she's lovely. I didn't realise till I switched that it had been making me a bit anxious. Nobody wants to hang around with someone holding sharp implements right next to their face when that same someone seems not to like them very much 😂

I hate it. I battled with it for years, being told I was being ridiculous by my mother I started cutting my own during the COVID-19 lockdown and never looked back.

I am not a fan of the hairdressers and the forced conversations that I have to endure. I would find it much less stressful if I could sit there in silence but it feels really rude to ask for no small talk

I would find it much less stressful if I could sit there in silence but it feels really rude to ask for no small talk

Take a book and say you aren't feeling chatty.

I don't like it anymore because colour highlights just takes too long. One Saturday I went and she was running behind and I was in the salon for a total of 4 hours for just half head highlights no cut.

I get my hair done at home, had the same hairdresser for about 5 years, and still have a bit of anxiety.

I used to have a fringe and my stress levels were through the roof as more often then not it was cut too short and I spent weeks tugging it down and cringing every time I looked in the mirror.

The thought of going to a different hairdresser fills me with dread, can’t imagine I would ever actually go into a salon again unless it was maybe just a blow dry or up do.

Getting it done in your own environment is definitely less intimidating.

I second using local FB groups to source a mobile hairdresser.

The other thing to note is that showing your roots is fairly trendy these days. Obviously depends on the amount of grey you have/are comfortable with, but my hairdresser does my hair so that it grows out looking very balayage-y for a good six months. Means only two-three trips a year.

No, what I have is a limited view of the Mumsnet world, which is completely different to the world most of us live in - and I'm not the only poster to comment on that.

I only mentioned socially awkward as a poster said they are and don't enjoy going to salons because of it, it wasn't a blanket observation. As I also mentioned, every salon I've ever been to has been full of people chatting away to the stylist - I've never seen anyone sitting in silence for their whole visit. How anyone can find getting their hair cut so stressful is completely beyond my understanding - but as I said, I live in a country where people tend to be more social and friendly than in the UK (thank goodness!!).

I don't quite understand how, if you don't like small talk at the hairdresser's how having someone come to your house, when it's just you and them, is less stressful than a busy salon.

Hairdressers really don't mind or care if you read a book or your phone but that would be really weird and awkward in your own home.

I love the idea of going to the hairdressers but am invariably disappointed because of the sheer COST OF IT. I want the whole experience of a good consultation, head massage, long wash with treatments, coffee, chatting, feeling able to ask for anything other than straight hair for my blowdry because they don’t want to curl my long hair. (And yes, I’ve asked before and been moaned at!)

I’ve tried everywhere from chains, posher independents to the little neighbourhood salon - pretty much always disappointed. For my next cut I’ve resigned myself to paying more just to see if it’s really worth it.

I often feel that salons show their preferences for customers who have the long and expensive colour treatments rather than a cut and blowdry.

MNers, send me to your hair salons, I’ll happily go in your place!

I've been going to the same hairdresser for many years, she knows me and how I like my hair and we have a nice chat

I have a nice lady to comes to my house. Have you tried "nextdoor" the social network? It's for finding people who will do little jobs in your local neighbourhood.

Yes, it's far more awkward, especially if you are waiting for a colour to take.

I always put Friends or something on in the background. When the colour is setting, I get up and faff around the house with laundry or whatever while she sits on her phone and has a cold drink. It's very chill, no pressure to talk at all.

Each to their own but to me that is a gazillion times more awkward than sitting in a salon reading a book whilst the hairdresser gets on with other work.