Does anyone else feel anxious going to the hairdresser?

[BeanoComicLover88]

I've always seemed to have this issue, I don't know what it is about the whole experience but it's always made me feel like crap. I go to a salon where there are 2 stylists and the last few times I've gone, my regular stylist has been off or not there (without informing any of her clients that day). The other stylist can be incredibly rude and condeand it's made me not want to return anymore. I've searched for mobile stylists but haven't been able to find anyone so far.
Anyone else deal with salon anxiety and if so, how have you found a way around it? I know it sounds so stupid and like a first world problem. I should also mention that I've got Adhd so that makes things even more difficult

Have always disliked going to the hairdresser after many haircuts have been unhappy with.

I’ve found a couple I find OK, in 2 different salons, and just go to them, have a ‘low maintenance’ style and leave it a long time between cuts!

Don’t think I’d like a mobile stylist as it’d be the same risk of cut I dislike with more social awkwardness of being in my home. Would try though if recommended as know several women very happy with theirs.

Yours sounds like they are providing poor service: would seek friends’ recommendations for an alternative!

@BeanoComicLover88 i used to have the same problem but I have actually stuck with a hairdresser now for more than 3 years which is a shock as I never felt comfortable. Honestly if you were in my area I would recommend her salon, she caters to ND and it’s such a calming little space

I loath it.
Mirrors and small talk.
During COVID I learnt to cut my own hair.
I get premium box dye delivered.
I don't claim to be in any way stylish but it works for me!

I used to be, I’m better now but always annoyed myself because it always ends up the same. It’s partly my fault for not being able to articulate how I want my hair but also I don’t feel that my hairdresser would listen (I really like her as a person so don’t fancy having an argument). Yes I know I should go elsewhere.

I once had an amazing hairdresser who I trusted to do what he wanted with my hair and he was brilliant. But he disappeared off the face of the earth.

I hate it. I put off making the call to book because of the questions and awkwardness of timings. Then there's the awkward conversations. Then there's the awkward head massages etc. then have they made be look a twat and I have to tell them I don't like it. But it's worth it in the end.

If I wasn't getting it bleached I'd ask DP to cut the end in his best straight line and be done with it.

I hate salons too. I've been using a mobile hairdresser for years. Much less stressful.

Why does the conversation have to be awkward?
Just tell them what you want, ask them not to give you a head massage and take a book so you don't have to talk to anyone.

I used to find it more awkward when I had a mobile hairdresser because we would have to make conversation while I was waiting for the colour to take. At least in a salon they go off and see to another customer.

@RampantIvy because if we aren't talking, I feel like we should and if we are I wonder how genuinely interested she is or whether I am saying the wrong thing. I normally work as I'm getting it done. Easy.

I tend to favour going to the dentist over the hairdresser.

The problem is hair keeps growing so you have to keep doing it, unless you can work out a DIY regime.

I have my hairdresser’s mobile so can WhatsApp for an appointment, and over the years we have built up enough knowledge about each others lives that it tends to feel more of a catch up than awkward small talk and the vibe in the salon is very relaxed and friendly.

Still don’t see it as any kind of treat.

Then there's the awkward head massages etc. then have they made be look a twat and I have to tell them I don't like it.

Not sure what "the etc" is but I hate massages of any type. They ask if I want a head massage, I say no. End of story.

The etc is that sometimes they move to your shoulders and others pull out a metal device that could also be used for torture. Urgh!

They merge it into the wash and condition at my new place so I don't know how to say no but you're right!

over the years we have built up enough knowledge about each others lives that it tends to feel more of a catch up than awkward small talk and the vibe in the salon is very relaxed and friendly.

That's how it is for me. I don't find it a treat, but just something that needs to be done. I don't have the kind of hair I can do myself, so I go for a cut and colour every 5 weeks. It looked terrible during lockdwon.

I'm in the UK and this is an "only on MN" scenario for me too, including the posters who apparently can't say " no head massage please"

A little bit, yes. Being so physically close to a stranger is one thing I don't like, but I can cope if I'm not forced to make small talk.

The dye on my hair is cold and itchy.

They don't have milk for tea so I take my own cold drink, but then I'm cold.

The sink for hair washing is uncomfortable.

The cut is rarely what I want, but I can't see that until it's dry and then I don't want to start all over again.

Some hairdressers are rude and insult the condition of my hair, tell me off for not paying extra for a conditioner.

A couple of weeks ago I had to stand up for the cut. I found that embarrassing.

I don't like looking at myself in the mirror for so long.

After all that, even the result isn't that great...

No but I like my hairdresser and the whole salon is lovely. They always give me plenty of coffee and look after me. I actually took DD once before Xmas and even she commented on how they treat me.

When I was in Spain, my Spanish teacher told us she always said she was happy with her cut and then went home crying and wearing a hat.
Point being that even people from a direct and communicative culture can find it hard to criticise their regular hairdresser.

" I don't have the kind of hair I can do myself, so I go for a cut and colour every 5 weeks. It looked terrible during lockdwon."

I have some photos of myself during lockdown when I tried the old 'if you stop washing your hair it will stop being greasy' and I looked like I was turning into one of my bald uncles.
Back to regular cut and colours now and it's a priority.

Same. I hate the inane conversation about holidays etc. in fact I’m astonished at some of the personal issues I hear people discussing with their hairdresser.

it's also really difficult to hear anything that's being said with all the noise of the hair driers and other people's chit chat around you, so I just end up shouting over the noise and asking 'excuse me, what did you just say?'. It's just absolutely dreadful and I am not someone who is socially awkward, believe me. I speak to hundreds different people each week as part of my job and outside. There is something about the environment of a typical UK hair salon that I absolutely detest.

But hairdressers are equally happy not to talk. They’re no more enthused about inane holiday chat than anyone in another job.

"it's also really difficult to hear anything that's being said with all the noise of the hair driers and other people's chit chat around you"

Or when you're bent over backwards at the sink and they ask you if the temperature is OK. Not that conducive to communication.

I hate going so I cut my own hair and have done for years. I don’t want the chit chat. Last time I went the salon was full of fake tanned bleach blonde extensions all staring at me with my black hair and dr martens. Fuck doing that again 😆

Depends on the hairdresser, which is why I don't like changing them!
Those who know me know I don't want to talk, others insist on trying. Someone suggested reading a book and I do try, but it's not easy when you have to take your glasses off!

😂

I also hate the hairdressers. People say how relaxing and pampering it is. It just makes me anxious. I used to only go once every 6 months and when lockdown hit and they all shut down I learned to cut and colour it myself using YouTube and have never been back!

I hate the small talk, hate never getting quite what you ask for, sitting there for hours having colour applied (my hair is long/thick), having some young girl scratch and scrub my head at the basin and then empty my purse of nearly £200.

So no, you're not alone in feeling the way you do.
I have a lot of anxiety and social anxiety and the hairdressers is high on my list of no go places these days.