Too much for a funeral ??

[Thekormachameleon]

I am heartbreakingly having to shop for outfit for my nans funeral

I have a lovely black dress which I'll wear with tights and appropriate footwear but wondered if this hat would be too much ?

If it helps, I am known for being a 'bit extra' and so is my wonderful nan , she always approved of a bit of glamour for any occasion

Sorry for your loss - of course wear it it’s lovely.

For your Nan, that's absolutely fine. She's your family and the funeral is about family! It's a lovely hat.

It draws attention because it's a very nice, classic style.

And op is the close family, not a spectator, so it's fine.

Sounds like your nan would thoroughly approve. And it's very fetching

Sorry for your loss

Doesn't mean they can't though

I wore a hat for 3 funerals. And all black

Some funerals request bright colours or come as you are. Many still don't.

I am sorry for your loss. the hat is lovely, wear it for her, and for yourself.

Well you (general you) can wear whatever you like anywhere you like as long as modesty is preserved. At my mother's and my grandfather's Masses tbh , I think I 'd have looked at best, odd, and at worst, attention seeking.

@Thekormachameleon

The contrast in the photo between the white model and the black hat is quite stark.
It will look different on you. It's a lovely hat. Wear it and remember your nan as you want to.

It's a smart black hat* with a veil FFS, not a big floppy sunhat with I HEART IBIZA in flashing fairy lights.

I wore a fascinator to my Nan's funeral in her favourite colour. She loved a formal do.

*looks like it could technically be small enough to be termed a fascinator according to the dress code for the Royal Enclousure at Ascot...

I think it's lovely and it sounds like your nan would thoroughly approve, and really that's all that matters. Anyone questioning your 'motives' can fuck right off.

I'm sorry for your loss, sounds like you had a wonderful relationship ❤️

Sorry for your loss. Its a lovely hat so wear it.
I know hats aren't worn that much these days but your Nans generation wouldn't have dared attend any Catholic mass without wearing one.

Your reply here @Thekormachameleon just got me right in the feels. I am genuinely welling up here for you.

I'm so sorry for you loss.

Wear your hat with flair and aplomb!! Please, if you ever feel up to it, come back and regale us with stories of this wonderful woman.

May she rest in peace.

I'm sorry for your loss OP. Around these parts it would absolutely be too much for the funeral but if others will be wearing hats then go for it. I've never ever seen anyone wear hats at a funeral or at mass (apart from woolly ones on a freezing day) and I'm Catholic. But it looks amazing and if you want to wear it then absolutely go ahead.

I have had to organise too many funerals recently, and it wouldn’t occur to me to worry about the etiquette of funerals, unless it would upset somebody else who was close to the deceased.

Funerals are for the people who are grieving, not for onlookers.

As it is a church funeral i think the hat is fine.

If hats are good enough for the Queen they are good enough for your Nan.

@LookItsMeAgain
Thank you so much ❤️

Catholic mass or not, just wear it!

It'll be a celebration of your Nan's life and although a sad farewell, it'll be beautiful to wear it to the occasion!

Thank you everyone
For the opinions on the hat and for your kindness - it is much appreciated ❤️

I love it, and I’m sure your grandmother would too.

These are my two funeral hats.

You know what you think is appropriate for your relationship with your Nan - I think it looks fab.

May I ask where these are from please?

The hat's perfect, and I love it when people dress up for a funeral. It shows respect, affection and joie-de-vivre. And the fact you're 'known for being a bit extra' (love that!) will see you through.

My (very loving, very orthodox Irish Catholic) family looked askance when I cried at my mum's funeral! I think they felt I was showing off, and actually I kind of get it. God knows the women of that generation made suffering in silence into an art form. But you're you, your family accepts that, and you don't have to worry about keeping to some unspoken code you don't share.

Ah it's great!