Too much for a funeral ??

[Thekormachameleon]

I am heartbreakingly having to shop for outfit for my nans funeral

I have a lovely black dress which I'll wear with tights and appropriate footwear but wondered if this hat would be too much ?

If it helps, I am known for being a 'bit extra' and so is my wonderful nan , she always approved of a bit of glamour for any occasion

Wear it in honour of your wonderful nan. You'll regret it if you don't.
It's smart and appropriate so go for it. 💐

When it was the queen's funeral I happily messaged my girls WhatsApp (old school friends) to say that was the look they should be aiming for for my funeral- full black ("please wear bright colours" not for me though happy to respect friends who said that's what they wanted) and ideally hats or at least the headbands some of the princesses were sporting! Lighthearted, but also, serious.

Actually just seen Kate Middleton wore a very similar one to Prince Phillips funeral so sod it, go for it.

This is an absolutely disgusting comment to make to someone who is grieving. Shameful.
@Thekormachameleon it is very glam, and I am sure your gran would approve. If you are comfortable with it - go for it! FWIW I organised (with my mum) and held my gran's anglican funeral in May and in keeping with her style, we said bright colours, plenty of glam. I wore the most beautiful sea green dress I have ever owned and the vicar even painted her nails (she was a former student of my gran and knew what she was like!) and wore her gold robes usually reserved for very special mass.
So so sorry for your loss - I feel your pain.

The last one I went to in a church no hats were worn so it would be OTT but that was just pre COVID

For me what matters is your lovely relationship with your nan and how you choose to honour her. I think you should wear your hat with pride.

Sounds like it’s the norm in your family and your Nan would have loved it. Go for it.

Of course wear it! Enjoy and celebrate her life. Any eye rollers can feck off.

1000% wear it. I love the PPs description of it as ‘mafia widow’ - perfect for a glamorous nan who loved you being a bit extra.

My sister wore black lace gloves + patent leather boots to my grandmas requiem mass. She looked wonderful - the priest looked a bit taken aback when she stood up to read. my grandma would have been DELIGHTED.

It's a lovely hat, but yes, in my experience (and I have been to many, many funerals) it would be over the top.
I can't think that I have ever seen a lady wear a hat to a funeral in real life - outside of royalty on the TV, or American films. That includes Catholic Funerals I've been to.
So, as you are asking for opinions, yes, I think it is too much.

It’s fabulous and you should wear it. Anyone eye rolling or judging doesn’t deserve an iota of your time or consideration.

Among my friends & family, we would (quietly and respectfully) applaud your wonderful tribute to your Granny (who sounds amazing). I will lose my mother this year and I will be pulling out all the stops with my outfit - she’d wholeheartedly approve.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss OP. I love that hat and if you feel it honours your nan then definitely go ahead and wear it. Ex DHs family are catholic and hats are the norm at any funerals I've been to on their side.

Sounds perfect given your description of your family and your nan. My condolences on your loss, celebrate her memory now and in the future.

I think you should go for it. Your nan would love it, and that’s reason enough, but I also think it would be in keeping if you’re otherwise quite glamorous and hats are to be worn to the funeral by others
I am sorry for your loss, even from your few posts, you can tell how much your nan meant to you.

If your Nan would have loved it then wear it.

I'm sorry for your loss. Grandparents are so special.

Thank you
She's been my best friend my whole life
I have so, so many wonderful memories with her it just hurts a lot right now 😢

I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful nan.

Your hat is beautiful and I'm sure your nan would approve. No one else's opinion really matters.

Yes, wear it!

As long as the hat that isn't going to call attention to you or distract the other guests at the service, I’d say it’s fine.

Also...this is S&B, not AIBU. Draw in your claws and save the hissing for the other board.

Beautiful hat, wear it with flair.

Your nan sounds fab, condolences on your loss. I think it looks great - in terms of the rest of your clothes, I think if you're going full-on black, the fabric shouldn't be overly luxey/shiny but rather very sober and 'modest.'

I’m sorry for your loss. The hat is appropriate. It would be just as traditional and just as ‘extra’ to wear a mantilla, so you could think about that alternatively if you feel like your dress could be complemented by something drapey.

Gosh you should absolutely wear this! Your Nan would have loved it, you love it.

Personally I wouldn't give a shiny shite about whether others are wearing hats or not, or whether others approved or not.

The only people that you should be concerned about are your Nan and yourself.

You've said you love it and and so would your Nan so wear it in her memory. I'm sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss.

I have worn hats for a number of funerals as have many of my friends and family. This time of year especially suitable.

My nana loved me in a hat so I would deffo wear one.

Your hat is beautiful and it sounds like it fits the bill for you, your nan and your relationship. Wear it with pride and remember your wonderful nan whilst doing so.