To think I'm ugly and plain looking?

[feelawfu]

I've been single around 8 years. Recently met someone but sabotaging so much as I genuinely feel so so ugly and plain. From my hair to my face. I am worrying about positing this as a lot of the time people are accused of trying to gain compliments etc. I swear to got I'm not trying to do that. I have struggled with self image since I've been a young teen and would love WOMENS real opinions. I don't trust men with this as they will compliment away and then break my heart.

CharlotteRumpling and howdoihowdoi. I'm amazed, and not in a good way, at MNHQ's breezy response to move this from AIBU to S&B

@feelawfu, the best thing you can ever be is confident. You've got to love yourself lady. You really do.

I'm not going to comment on your photo, because it's irrelevant really. It's a very bad idea to post a photo of yourself if you're feeling insecure. It's not going to help you.

You are young and I see that men have made you feel a bit shitty about yourself.

Good news! You can take that back and reverse it, you can feel fucking brilliant about yourself if you let yourself. You can. I guarantee that if you allow yourself, you will have the best relationship with yourself. You are fucking amazing. You don't need randos on the interwebs to tell you that.

Be your best friend. Please. Allow yourself some love.

You look healthy, relaxed, glowing, beautiful and comfortable in your skin.

I agree. She has taken to heart the comments about hairline, though I know those weren't maliciously intended, just as hairstyle tips.

I agree OP. The internet is a dangerous place. For your own sake, please ask MN to remove your photo. Start a new thread about ways to increase your self esteem if you think it would help.

I am one of the posters who saw your post in Style & Beauty (where these sort of questions are usually asking for practical suggestions) and suggested trying a new hairstyle. It’s only when I read the new replies this morning that I realised your post had been moved to S&B.

FWIW I had terrible self esteem from when I was young and my father told me ‘nobody would run away with me’. To put it in context I was a teen and didn’t want to go into a shop. There was a group of boys from my year hanging around outside. Years later a random man in a bar approached me to ask me ‘WTF is up with your teeth’. After that I got braces to straighten them.

People can say throwaway comments with little regard to the impact and hurt they can have. I’d hazard a guess many women on MN will have similar stories.

@feelawfu I would listen to @Novelhelp, she speaks sense!

Honestly, I am a woman with huge amounts of love for herself, but I'm unusual in that respect.

You are not, (because you asked the question), don't do this to yourself. Don't. It will absolutely make you feel rubbish because there will be many posters that will say terrible things, and they will, and you will take it to heart, and they will do it to make themselves feel better. It's nothing to do with you.

(You are lovely btw. But don't do this to yourself).

You look pretty and attractive. Don’t mean to be rude but do you have botox? If so it’s a bit too much, if not ignore.
Your makeup is spot on, as someone with a high hairline I hear you, but honestly its fine. We have big brains lol

Also it sounds like someone has put you down either when you were growing up or in adulthood. Id work on undoing or working on that issue inside as the outside is all good.

being single is no indicator of ugliness

OP - the only thing you have commented on is your hairline. You obviously don’t like it so just book a haircut and ask them what they recommend! You could have a nice sweeping side fringe and some face framing layers.

I don’t think you are ugly but there’s also nothing wrong with being plain? There are many, many plain or average men and women out there.

I think you could do with some therapy because you seem to be judging your self worth on how attractive you think you are.

I don't trust men with this as they will compliment away and then break my heart.

It seems like you've taken compliments as a promise for commitment.

I'm sorry OP, but this message (on top of the fact you've put your photo online to invite comments from strangers) rings massive alarm bells. It is a TERRIBLE idea to put your phone number up on a public forum. I'm not going to comment on your appearance because I genuinely don't believe that will help you, but in the nicest possible way, I think you'd benefit from working on boundaries as well as self-esteem. FWIW I was a beauty in my youth and was utterly miserable and constantly messed around by shit men. Years of stress/illness/grief mean I now look like an old foot, but I've learnt to love myself and not seek validation from others, and I'm a lot happier for it!