Let me tell you about the older couple I met today

[NoCheaperTransactions]

... having coffee in town.

They looked absolutely fantastic.

Both probably in their 80s. The wife was wearing a navy blue suit with cropped trousers, a full sort of frilly white blouse and a bolero hat with a large brooch on it Her makeup was perfect. She wore navy suede gloves and had a fake fur stole also in navy blue.

Her husband was wearing a grey tweed three piece suit with a rose button hole, a black beret, a dark grey silk scarf and had on very large black rimmed glasses.

They looked absolutely wonderful and I was completely inspired. They were dressing for themselves, with clearly pleasure in what they wore and I felt that I could take some pointers in dressing not according to fashion but according to what you loved and suited you.

Me- in contrast- I was wearing boyfriend jeans, converse and a blue shirt. (I'm 50).

I think this marks a new phase in my life- not just wearing something that fits and is vaguely inoffensive- but wearing clothes that I love for the sheer happiness of it.

I also like seeing older people dressed up… it gives me hope that I’ll still be engaged with fashion as I get older. My mum is 80 and a real fashion fiend and there are a couple of real eccentrics in my area who love to dress up. I got talking to one older lady who had pink hair, pink cowboy boots and what appeared to be a vintage fur coat from the 30’s. She told me she used to be an actress ( she had a cut glass RP accent) and was off home for a glass of champagne.

OP I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time. All the more to appreciate that in times of stress you looked for something positive to post. I also don’t think it wrong or patronising to be descriptive about people. Why are we so scared of pussyfooting about age or sex etc?

I'm calm thanks

What a great image you’ve painted @Divebar2021 🤣

I want to be like that in 20 years time!

People who grew up in the 40s/ 50s were from a time when people made an effort to dress up before going out. Matching gloves, smart coats etc.

Ive fallen into the slightly scuzzy athleisure post Covid. I’m also out in the sticks, so dressing up does make you stand out.

@NoCheaperTransactions I’m not often on S&B but I’ve been outraged at the vitriol that sprung from nowhere. It seems to be a common occurrence elsewhere on the MN boards, but not here. Glad to see that normal service has resumed…

@LakeTiticaca I was coming on to write much the same. The couple's age is quite relevant imo - old photos of my parents' and PIL's generation shows them so beautifully dressed .. not expensively; just with style.

My mum used to go hiking in Scandinavia with friends in the late 1940s/early 1950s and they wore beautiful pleated tweed skirts, short nipped-in tweed jackets and stout brogues. Not a piece of Goretex in sight! Otherwise beautiful full-skirted dresses (waists seemed to be tiny then) in lovely prints. She only wore "slacks" occasionally. Very different times.

OP there was nothing patronising about what you wrote. This should be (usually is) a supportive, inspiring place to celebrate fashion and offer helpful advice. Some people just can't stop themselves having a go and there's no call for it.

I don't think it is. I'm in my late 60s, so quite old myself, but sometimes I see a really stylish woman 20 years older and am inspired. Like a woman I met, in her 80s, who was wearing a long green swirly skirt and Doc Martens with her long grey hair in a bun - probably not the best description but she looked great. I always notice women like this and it is reassurance that you don't have to become invisible.

It's patronising to suggest that they don't dress like this regularly. Maybe they do dress up a bit more for an occasion - don't we all?

I enjoyed reading about this glamorous couple too and feel inspired by it. I think that was the OPs aim in sharing her thoughts. I am saddened by the way that dressing to go out out has been ‘dumbed down’ for want of a better phrase. For me much of the joy in going out to a restaurant or somewhere in the evening is to plan what I’m wearing and to admire what others are wearing too. So sitting in a Soho restaurant next to two women in jeans and jumpers is underwhelming for me and I wonder if they are missing out on some of the joy of expressing themselves through their clothes.
I have a very glamorous black coat with a belt which has a huge gold buckle in the shape of a bow. I just feel I can’t wear it now because I would look too much. I last wore it in Rome 10 year ago so possibly it would still be ok in Italy? Do they still do glamour?

Thank you for the thread OP and I hope you are alright x.

I have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes and accessories, but they never see the light of day. Since the lockdowns, I have got into a styling rut and seem to wear a day to day uniform of skinny jeans, long jumpers and boots. This thread has inspired me to make a bit more effort.

Observing and complimenting someone's appearance is far from patronising.

Honestly, someone people will twist and turn any simple sentence to take offence or imply that offence is meant. It's tiresome.

Thanks. I am fine. x It's just stuff. With ageing parents and illnesses and the like. And I (they) live a long way away.

Absolutely!!! Go you and go that couple.
Im same age as you..i dress a little quirky to say the least lol (think helena bonham carter styley)...and i dont care 🤣..i love the way i dress...its comfortable and i feel at home in my clothes. Btw i love you wear converse

I too love seeing people making an effort with an outfit. Even more when it’s a couple who so clearly compliment each other.

They sound fabulous OP.

Just because you didn’t mean to be patronising, doesn’t mean you weren’t. Perfectly capable adults put on some nice clothes and get fawned over like they’re cute toddlers. It’s patronising.

Do bore off.

This is the S&B board and OP was discussing the Style of a well dressed couple.

It's what this board is here for. You seem to have stumbled in from some other deeply negative place.

Ageism comes in many forms.

And so does negativity.

Reality is not that many people of any age dress like this, if OP started a thread about a couple in their 40s inspiring her to think about her wardrobe and look would you find that patronising? Perhaps you're the one being ageist by seeing it as so. Curious where you live though if the vast majority of people in their 80s dress like this!

Have a look at Advanced Style by Ari Seth Cohen, he has books but is also on Facebook. His photos of older women are beautiful if often a little too 'out there' to wear in my small town.

He often includes this lady who is 102. https://www.instagram.com/iris.apfel/?hl=en

OP don't be put off posting here, you know what MN can be like. I'm convinced some people just spend their time looking for something to be miserable over in perfectly innocuous posts. It's their problem, not yours and you can get great advice on S & B. (I hope that's not too patronising ... 😂)

@NoCheaperTransactions I’m glad you’re back and I’m sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the moment. Thanks for the thread and the inspiration.💐

Wow. So deep.

Wear your lovely coat @narniabusiness, whenever you can. As you can (mostly) see from this thread, people appreciate seeing such things.

Thanks. I am about to bail out though. I've been more or less awake since Friday.

Thank you again to posters who have been generous of spirit. About every 3 years or so I de-reg and flounce. But on the whole MN has brought me more joy than pain.

They sound wonderful. I am nearly 80 and it takes something very special to get me out of elasticated waist trousers and a sweatshirt or a tee shirt!

My thoughts precisely! I love seeing people who take what they wear seriously and can really put an outfit together, but I don’t think we all ‘should’ dress like this or feel obliged to make more of an effort. I am also more than happy to keep wearing my casual stuff and it wouldn’t occur to me that op wasn’t wearing her jeans and converse because that was what she wanted to wear.