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Original poster

Style for the older lady

112 replies

Keynote1 · 09/09/2023 17:34

I think I am probably older than most on here, 58, retired with grandchildren but lots of interests.

I am in a total fix with clothes, buy too much because I end up thinking it is too young for me and I should be dressing like a 60 year old granny (not saying all 60 year old grannies even dress like grannies or even how grannies look)

My style has pretty much been the same for 35 years, frilly collar blouses, jumpers, jeans, ankle grazer trousers and pumps. I do wear dresses occasionally. I have never been one for tight clothes or short dresses as they never looked right .
Now I am the age I am and bigger than I was I am worried that what I thought was a classic style in my younger years is too young for me.

Any older ladies out there who could let me know what they feel comfortable in, indeed any advice welcome.

OP posts:
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5
Floisme · 09/09/2023 18:09

You're far from being the oldest on here op - I'm not either and I'm late sixties.

I'm not going to start by telling you what I wear - although I'm happy to do that later if you want - but rather with an observation that there's quite a lot of concern in your op about what you 'should' wear but nothing about what you would actually like to wear.

I'm assuming that you're interested in clothes otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about it, you'd just be getting on with all your other hobbies. So is there anything? Any look that you secretly love or any woman or man, real or fictional, (age immaterial) whose style you've always admired? Any shop you've always lingered outside? Because quite honestly there will never be a better time to go for it than now, when you no longer have to worry about what they'll say at work.

Also - and some posters will probably disagree with this but what the hell - the single thing that helped me the most was the realisation that no-one, absolutely no-one, was looking at me or even noticed, let alone cared what I wore. We're just not that interesting to many younger people I'm afraid. Initially that was disconcerting, but it was also totally liberating as it gave me the green light to go out and experiment, make mistakes, and basically have some fun.

FizzingAda · 09/09/2023 18:25

I'm 70 and have long embraced the purple hat with a red feather lifestyle. I go for comfort, jeans and tops and fleeces that don't need ironing. I couldn't care less what people,think, if they every do think about me - we are invisible as the poster above said! It's very liberating!

AuntieMarys · 09/09/2023 18:28

I'm 64 and wear pleather skinnies and chunky boots in winter. I am very casual but nicely dressed.

tintinandhisdogsnowy · 09/09/2023 18:33

Floisme · 09/09/2023 18:09

You're far from being the oldest on here op - I'm not either and I'm late sixties.

I'm not going to start by telling you what I wear - although I'm happy to do that later if you want - but rather with an observation that there's quite a lot of concern in your op about what you 'should' wear but nothing about what you would actually like to wear.

I'm assuming that you're interested in clothes otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about it, you'd just be getting on with all your other hobbies. So is there anything? Any look that you secretly love or any woman or man, real or fictional, (age immaterial) whose style you've always admired? Any shop you've always lingered outside? Because quite honestly there will never be a better time to go for it than now, when you no longer have to worry about what they'll say at work.

Also - and some posters will probably disagree with this but what the hell - the single thing that helped me the most was the realisation that no-one, absolutely no-one, was looking at me or even noticed, let alone cared what I wore. We're just not that interesting to many younger people I'm afraid. Initially that was disconcerting, but it was also totally liberating as it gave me the green light to go out and experiment, make mistakes, and basically have some fun.

I'm 62 and agree with all this. Wear what you like. If you can't wear it now when are you going to wear it?
I love texture: velvet, wool, silk embroidery etc. I don't care what anyone thinks I just wear it all whenever I feel like it. It's so liberating.

Charlingspont · 09/09/2023 18:41

I'm 57 and follow a couple of fashion influencers on Instagram who are in their late 50s. Gives me some ideas. If you have Instagram, do some searches, so what you can find.

Lamelie · 09/09/2023 18:42

Can you post a headless picture? I’m a little younger than you and regret not enjoying clothes when I was younger. Agree with what pp have said about dressing for yourself and not worrying about what other people think- they’re really not interested.
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Cantonet · 09/09/2023 18:58

I'm 59 and i'm not old.
My eldest is 24 & my youngest is 17.
I dress like I'm in my 30's/40's.
& I'm a long way off having grandchildren. Maybe it helps having children very late, but I don't feel old at all. There is no age cut off for wearing certain clothes, unlike previous generations. Just wear whatever suits you. If you don't feel happy in the clothes you're wearing get some advice.

ScribblingPixie · 09/09/2023 18:59

You are younger than Trinny Woodall and look at what she wears!

MayIDestroyYou · 09/09/2023 22:27

I should be dressing like a 60 year old granny (not saying all 60 year old grannies even dress like grannies or even how grannies look)

So you need never, ever write this horrible sentence again?

Abitlosttoday · 09/09/2023 22:29

Floisme · 09/09/2023 18:09

You're far from being the oldest on here op - I'm not either and I'm late sixties.

I'm not going to start by telling you what I wear - although I'm happy to do that later if you want - but rather with an observation that there's quite a lot of concern in your op about what you 'should' wear but nothing about what you would actually like to wear.

I'm assuming that you're interested in clothes otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about it, you'd just be getting on with all your other hobbies. So is there anything? Any look that you secretly love or any woman or man, real or fictional, (age immaterial) whose style you've always admired? Any shop you've always lingered outside? Because quite honestly there will never be a better time to go for it than now, when you no longer have to worry about what they'll say at work.

Also - and some posters will probably disagree with this but what the hell - the single thing that helped me the most was the realisation that no-one, absolutely no-one, was looking at me or even noticed, let alone cared what I wore. We're just not that interesting to many younger people I'm afraid. Initially that was disconcerting, but it was also totally liberating as it gave me the green light to go out and experiment, make mistakes, and basically have some fun.

Hi, just wanted to quickly contradict you! I notice what women of ALL ages are wearing every day. I just notice stylish women. The most stylish are almost always over 35, as far as I can see. I live in a smallish town so I see the same people again and again. There is a cohort of about 30 women who have real style around where I live - maybe half of these are (I would guess) retirees. One is someone who really embraces colour beautifully. I always stop her to admire her outfits. She's very sunshiney. Another is a (I'm guessing) quite well-to-do professional retired women who has a Scandi, immaculate look. To me she looks like an off-duty architect. Very classy. Also a bit irritating but still... Another women (maybe late 60s?) has a brilliant waterfall of grey mermaid hair and really funky dress sense. Her daughter has the same hair in copper! They both look fantastic. There's a petite woman with cropped hair, who could be 70. She is very arty looking with bold prints, massive earrings, thick-soled shoes, thick-rimmed glasses. My step-mum is another stylish woman in her 60s - quite trend focused but her choices always suit HER.

I AM most definitely noticing and admiring what older women wear. I'm 44. Men may not notice me like they once did but I don't give a fuck. I'd much rather another stylish middle-aged woman noticed how fabulously put together I am!

And I also notice fat stylish women. That's a relatively new thing. I think my perception of what / who can be stylish has shifted since I was young (and stupid) in the early 2000s. Body positivity has sunk into my head and I don't carry the old prejudice of thin = attractive anymore. I am very grateful for this shift, although I don't necessarily think everyone got the memo.

Anyway, don't imagine you're invisible to everyone.

MotherofGorgons · 09/09/2023 22:35

I don't think age really matters. I think body shape is more important.
If you don't like tight clothes, you are perfectly in sync with the current trend: oversized everything.
Why not start with wide leg jeans?

iliveinhappyvalley · 09/09/2023 22:37

OP I'm 56 and work with teenagers. I wear what the hell I want. My favourite outfit currently is a pair of orange cargo pants and a khaki bomber jacket with orange trim. Had lots of compliments from the kids. Enjoy wearing what you want to wear!!

thedevilinablackdress · 09/09/2023 22:46

Got to say I agree with you @Abitlosttoday
Different people are noticing you @Floisme I reckon.

Lovebali · 09/09/2023 22:46

I'm almost 60 and just cannot identify with your post. I don't feel or look like a 'granny' whatever a granny is supposedly look like...

Also to the other posters who say no one cares, I care massively what other women wear, love looking at clothes and the people in them.

MayIDestroyYou · 09/09/2023 22:47

I am older than you, @Keynote1

If anyone had the temerity to call me an ‘older lady’ - with all the de-sexed, battle axe or batty connotations - I would happily pull out their throat with my bare hands.

The most recent things I’ve bought include an enormous, heavy, hand ‘darned’ cardigan by Marni, some knee high boots by Legres and an ankle length ribbed silk and cashmere dress from Loulou Studio. I’m hoping they’ll look fabulous together or apart.

But I’m also going to disagree with @Floisme‘s ‘no one is looking at you’ point. Because I’m finding the absolute opposite. You’re in the fortunate position of having been able to retire - I’m at the start of a new career and doubt I’ll ever retire. It means I’m constantly amongst brilliant peers and rivals - most decades younger than me. And they definitely do notice, and comment, on my approach to style - almost as much as on my work.

Selfishly - it would be helpful to me if women of my age would stop falling over themselves to apologise for existing …

MayIDestroyYou · 09/09/2023 23:00

@Abitlosttoday - when I was at school in the 70s, by far the most stylish member of staff (all women, independent girls’s school) was a teacher who must have been at least a size 22. Witty, dynamic, rosy cheeked and quite staggeringly well groomed and well dressed. So I learned early on that not being a size 8 didn’t prevent anyone from looking fabulous.

And then I travelled to other countries and continents - where thin-ness wasn’t always the ultimate goal or signifier of high status. Fat women were happy to be fat - and dressed with pride and extravagance. Consequently I’m a size 18 - show me the cheapest shop in which to hide my shame has always seemed a peculiarly masochistic English thing to me.

But the apologising for being over 40 and still alive - that’s surely, surely some sort of MN disease. Because I’ve never met it anywhere else.

NatashaDancing · 09/09/2023 23:19

Floisme · 09/09/2023 18:09

You're far from being the oldest on here op - I'm not either and I'm late sixties.

I'm not going to start by telling you what I wear - although I'm happy to do that later if you want - but rather with an observation that there's quite a lot of concern in your op about what you 'should' wear but nothing about what you would actually like to wear.

I'm assuming that you're interested in clothes otherwise you wouldn't even be thinking about it, you'd just be getting on with all your other hobbies. So is there anything? Any look that you secretly love or any woman or man, real or fictional, (age immaterial) whose style you've always admired? Any shop you've always lingered outside? Because quite honestly there will never be a better time to go for it than now, when you no longer have to worry about what they'll say at work.

Also - and some posters will probably disagree with this but what the hell - the single thing that helped me the most was the realisation that no-one, absolutely no-one, was looking at me or even noticed, let alone cared what I wore. We're just not that interesting to many younger people I'm afraid. Initially that was disconcerting, but it was also totally liberating as it gave me the green light to go out and experiment, make mistakes, and basically have some fun.

I agree with everything you've said apart from the last bit about no one noticing. I'm sure you are noticed. I know I am from the number of compliments from random strangers (some of them are even young) about what I'm wearing.

NatashaDancing · 09/09/2023 23:23

Hi, just wanted to quickly contradict you! I notice what women of ALL ages are wearing every day. I just notice stylish women^^

Same here. And I will tell them I love what they are wearing.

Vitriolinsanity · 09/09/2023 23:24

I'm coming up on you OP and I'm
Presently wearing cut off and a vest with my DS's old Superdry sliders.

I did wear a Boden dress to work yesterday which I thought was pretty hideous (I forgot to send the fucker back) and got compliments all day. That was ducking weird.

A 9 year old child walked towards me today and said my outfit was "slaying". Evidently that's TikTok speak.

I love an ankle grazer myself. My favourite outfit at the moment is Hush cargoes with a v neck cotton T-shirt.

PattyDukeAstin · 09/09/2023 23:30

Style for the older lady..at 58..really struggling with this. I am 63 and like many women I work full time don't have much spare time for 'lots of interests' (was this honestly written by a 58 year old woman?). I wear what I like and maybe because I work in a busy job and had my children a bit later I don't have much time to think about this. However you sound like my mother who was born in 1923 and dressed 'older' from 40 - I really thought be had moved on.

Zipps · 09/09/2023 23:32

Your post makes you sound ancient and in a rut Op.
It's a bit sad and a very old fashioned view about what grandmas and older ladies wear. The answer is whatever they want.
I think you need to try on stuff that is completely out of your comfort zone, just to see what looks awesome on you because I guarantee there are clothes out there that will make you feel awesome you just need to find them.

MayIDestroyYou · 09/09/2023 23:32

As @Floisme says, it would be interesting to know how you’d like to dress, @Keynote1. The wardrobe you’ve described doesn’t sound in any way exclusively ‘youthful’ - I do wonder if it’s not suiting your mood right now because there’s some other ‘you’ that feels unexpressed.

(Or I could just be talking bollox ...)

NatashaDancing · 09/09/2023 23:39

OP I'm 64. My purchases over the last 18 -24 months or so were from these shops/ brands.
Egg
Frontiers
Palava
Oska
Klements
Dicks
Eponine

You may well hate all of them. None of them were designed with "older ladies" in mind.

egg makes and sells timeless, simple clothes and objects.

Drawing on traditional skills from around the world, it is about the pure enjoyment of shapes, colours, materials and making.

https://www.eggtrading.com/

Iheartmysmart · 09/09/2023 23:50

Older lady! Bloody hell. I’m 56 and today have been wearing a pair of combat trousers, a band tour t-shirt and DM sandals. Wear what you like.

Original poster
Keynote1 · 10/09/2023 00:04

They are all lovely, bit beyond my budget but beautiful clothes.

OP posts: