Style for the older lady

[Keynote1]

I think I am probably older than most on here, 58, retired with grandchildren but lots of interests.

I am in a total fix with clothes, buy too much because I end up thinking it is too young for me and I should be dressing like a 60 year old granny (not saying all 60 year old grannies even dress like grannies or even how grannies look)

My style has pretty much been the same for 35 years, frilly collar blouses, jumpers, jeans, ankle grazer trousers and pumps. I do wear dresses occasionally. I have never been one for tight clothes or short dresses as they never looked right .
Now I am the age I am and bigger than I was I am worried that what I thought was a classic style in my younger years is too young for me.

Any older ladies out there who could let me know what they feel comfortable in, indeed any advice welcome.

I'm 59 with a 14 year old and I really really don't feel old at all. But realistically I also am very clearly not young! But the thing is, while that may be meaningful for things like pensions, or your chances of age related illnesses, I can't see how it relates to what clothes you might wear. I think you look at your body. What might suit it. What you like. And sort of match the two? I'm not a fashion guru but I wasn't at 20 either. So no change there. So just try and trust yourself a bit more maybe?

We have just been out for dinner in a local pan Asian restaurant, and I had wide leg cobalt jeans, black chunky sandals, a graffiti patterned vest top and a leather jacket

I'm not in the UK, maybe we are a bit more practical here. I agree about jeans to a certain extent, but not about trousers. One of my grandmothers wore trousers most days when I was young, and it wasn't considered unusual, and I started work in the mid-70s (accountants' office) and have a photo of myself not long after I started wearing trousers. Wearing trousers to work has been normal here for many, many, decades. I do find the UK a bit "traditional/conservative" in some ways however.

I'm not sure what point you're making. Perhaps I'm imagining my experience and really my school, my friends' mother's and first workplace were awash with women all wearing trousers.

I grew up on my grandparents' farm. My grandmother died in 1969. She never owned trousers. My mother did when I was growing up but only jodhpurs for riding. She might have started wearing trousers towards the end of the 80s.

Police women in uniform in Scotland were permitted to wear trousers until the 1980s.

That's really good advice.

Hear hear.

The point I'm making is that just because the women in your life weren't wearing trousers doesn't mean that no women were, as I said, it wasn't considered unusual here. If you have a look at any fashion books from the 1960s/70s there are lots of women wearing them. Where did I say you imagined your experience? I simply said that your experience is not mine. I grew up in a small rural town.

@Keynote1 can I suggest you start a new thread along the lines of "I'm in a rut of wearing the same clothes and want to shake things up a bit..." avoiding words like old/granny so it doesn't get derailed. Give us an idea of colours, shapes (you like 7/8 trousers and flats), budget and maybe even a couple of pictures of people whose style you admire. I'm sure you'll get some help that way. Good luck!

"avoiding words like old/granny so it doesn't get derailed"
^
How about

"Avoiding words like old/granny so it ISN'T AGEIST"

So much better.^

Like @tintinandhisdogsnowy I love texture too: velvety, wool, silk, beautiful fine cotton. (I love the feel and the look). I don’t wear them anymore but I loved old soft denim jeans as well.

The problem I find is affording it. Unfortunately.

Things like cotton tshirts.(unless you pay 100s of £s - if you can afford that you’ll get a good quality tshirt). Years ago you’d buy a cotton tshirt and it would wash and wear to be beautifully soft. Now cotton in tshirts is often of a low grade. You can buy a soft tshirt, but after a wash or two it often becomes rougher not smoother. It’s like there’s filler in the fabric that washes out? And the outside of the tshirt is somehow (how?) often softer than the inside. It doesn’t look any different so I don’t understand why the soft side isn’t on the inside. Velvets used to be soft inside and out. The quality of a lot of velvet seems to have changed for the worse. And often its the badly sewn seams that ruin the luxurious feel of the fabric. How we feel in our clothes, is as much about comfort as about style. Maybe more so.

Good suggestion. 👍

In the meantime, @Keynote1, as a complete contrast to @NatashaDancing‘s lovely list of sources for beautiful frocks, might I suggest just one brand to browse thoroughly? As I mentioned above, I’m not retired, so also still have to appear in the world in a way that leaves a positive impression, but unlike my previous profession, which required infinite variations on the stylish black or grey suit, I’m now free to dress in a much more relaxed style.

I like to play with proportions, shapes, richness and variety in textures and strong colours. My ideal item of clothing is an extravagantly cut Harris tweed jacket. In my fantasy world I have entire collections of Margiela era Hermes clothing and boots. And Droopy & Browns still exists and is better than ever. I don’t give a fig for neatness, or clothes to ‘show off’ any particular part of my body - I never have. I don’t like clothes to be timid or ingratiating. I don’t like pointless embellishment - I do like a display of treasurable craft. My wardrobe ranges from Alexander McQueen to Zara - at the moment I’m probably most enjoying La Fetiche clothes and Dries van Noten footwear (in fact and fantasy).

But the one site I’d recommend you spend a couple of hours really absorbing is:

Raey @ Matches Fashion.

You’ll see why.

@MayMayIDestroyYou I, for one, have truly absorbed that link. My credit card is now on life-support.

I'm 59.5 and no way do I describe myself as an older lady! That would be my mother, 85.

I often borrow clothes from my24-year-old daughter: a shirt from Monkie. She got me into buying a few casual pieces from Stradivarius (not expensive).

@billydilly, these days I’m even boring myself with constant reiterations of the fact that there are now so many ways to access good quality clothes at accessible prices - sales and Vinted and TK Maxx and Vestiaire, sample sales and charity shops and swapping with friends / family. Or simply taking inspiration from higher end brands and replicating those styles with stuff from cheaper shops.

I definitely wasn’t saying anyone should race out and buy up all the stock of an expensive brand at full price - so I hope no one thought that was what I was suggesting!

@MayIDestroyYou i imagine we realise where you’re coming from but @billydilly 👏good for you!!!! and I hope you will share photos of your spoils.

Were you being serious, @billydilly ? Apols if so - it’s been such a fight-y morning on S&B (@mm47 …) that I assumed sarcasm …

I do hope @Keynote1 will return with some further thoughts (not so much on the debate she’s kicked off, but on whether she’s seen anything she likes the look of.

It’s funny though - I’ve always found the Diana Spencer pie crust collar, cropped trousers and ballet flats look really cute! Yes it’s dated now, but it looks just as good on someone of 75 as on someone of 25 …

Totally serious, I've just spent £££! Thanks so much for the tip, gorgeous stuff.

Oh wow!

I spend far too much time on S&B - perfect work avoidance - and am almost invariably ripped to shreds by relentless scorn and derision. Someone liking something I suggest happens about twice a year …

So it’s a pleasure, @billydilly. They do seem to be back on form after a dodgy couple of years. That was the case with several brands over lockdown, though. Would definitely be interested to hear what caught your eye, and why. And - whether you think there’s anything in their styling that might inspire @Keynote1.

(Tbh my favourite site in terms of visual styling appeal is probably Zara - I just prefer more substance and nicer fabrics in actual clothes.)

This thread calls for a link that @lunanorth posts in response to similar questions..

There are some beautiful clothes on there@MayIDestroyYou . Beyond my budget but inspirational with the styling, I especially like some of the shirts and knitwear.
Thank you all for your helpful suggestions, I certainly did not mean to cause ructions with my obviously badly worded thread title.

@MayIDestroyYou I wanted oodles of stuff but opted for a black, cashmere belted cardigan, quite flowy. I subscribe to @NatashaDancing's view that a piece can be a thing of beauty in its own right; if I love it, I'm wearing it. At 62 clothes give me more pleasure now than at any time in my life.

Don’t stress over your initial post OP. Sometimes your words get lost in translation and people get offended. I’m in my late sixties and still love clothes although I dress very simply. Nice jeans, boots, cashmere jumpers and always lovely coats. Accessorising is important; I would never go out in the winter without accessorising with cashmere wraps and good leather/suede gloves. I think people do notice what you wear and you can look stylish at any age. Even when my Mum was 90, she looked good, always paying attention to her hair, skin, makeup (very simple) and general appearance. I intend to be the same if I’m lucky enough to live that long. But above all, be whoever you want be; you’ve earned it!

It wasn't just your thread title though @Keynote1!

Ooh you're back op, good!

So.....any clues about how you would like to look and/or feel when you get dressed, no matter how absurd you think it sounds?

I'll start. When I get dressed I like to see myself off as a mix of Katharine Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Grace Jones, Cary Grant and Jane Birkin.

Do I resemble of these people? Hell no.